I think I may have met my dream woman! I met this HB7 at a friend's birthday party just before the new year. We barely said much to each other at all but there was just something special about her. We did become FB friends the next day. I knew she had split with the BF about 3 months before (he treated her like shit) and noted a FB thread with another girl where she talked about being pissed off at people asking her if she'd found someone to kiss on New years Eve. Remembering that, while out on NYE I took a picture of myself blowing a kiss to the camera and posted it on her wall with a note "Midnight kiss from me". She loved it!

Anyway... I ran into her at the same friend's house a couple weeks ago and we got to chatting. Lots of rapport - we just kept finding things we had in common - and the next day I contacted her on FB and asked for her number and invited her to a party I was having at my place the following weekend. She let me have her number right away but couldn't come to the party as she was celebrating a girlfriend's birthday that weekend.

I left it for a while, then on Wednesday I sent her a text that I was in the area where she worked (I was on a training course nearby) and asked if she wanted to meet for coffee. Her reply was that Wednesdays were the only days she wasn't free after work as she had a course to attend and I was thinking I'd been blown off when she texted again saying it was a shame as she would have loved to meet up. Then she suggested meeting for drinks on Friday instead. So far, so good!

On Friday morning, though, came the text that she wasn't feeling well and was sorry she couldn't meet up again. Again, I was thinking - flake! So I gave a standard "OK, hope you feel better" reply and went the pub with some guys from my course afterwards. I hadn't been out long when I got a text from her saying that she'd decided to go for drinks with a friend after all and if I wanted to join them. I said OK but I was with friends so I'll be with her in a bit.

We had a good time chatting (her friend left soon after I got there) although the dreaded topic of her ex did come up - he was coming back around "wanting to be friends" and she wasn't sure how to deal with it. My advice was "tell him to fuck off or you'll never get on with your life and enjoy hanging out with great guys like me!" and changed the subject. She didn't seem to have a problem accepting that! I was having some friends over the next day - including her friend at whose party we'd first met - but although she initially said she couldn't make it, she started saying how much she wanted to come along and even asked to stay over if she did (although she quickly corrected that to "Well, at someone's place - maybe *her friend*) We just sat around talking over drinks and finding more things in common for a couple hours before saying our goodbyes.

I did feel afterwards that although she was saying she was still not feeling 100% and also needed to see her flat-mate before the flat-mate travelled abroad early the next morning, that she was up for spending some more time together that evening, so I may have messed up there. She didn't come along on Saturday after all (text to say she wasn't feeling that great again).

My feeling is that she's interested but not quite hooked yet, or a bit unsure about getting into anything. I, on the other hand, don't want to scare her off by pushing too hard but don't want to NOT do anything either.

Sorry for the long story - just wanted to give all the background - but what would you guys advise? What should be my next move?

I really do NOT want to mess this up!

dnano

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dnano

the rapport building looks fine, i was semi worried when she asked for relationship advice about her ex though. Pending on how long she has been with the guy 3 months may still be in the grieving period. The fact that the ex is trying to come around again maybe has raised some conflicts/doubts about seeing someone now.

i would imagine that you want to date this girl and it's not just a hook up, so i would try and lay some groundwork to make sure her ex is out of the picture and making you seem like a good suitor. I would find out subtly what her ex did/did not do, work towards being the better guy while keeping an edge. Don't trash the guy verbally I found that it doesn't make the transition easier since she may go into defense mode.

you don't want to seem TOO nice, if she has been treated like shit by the ex and is possibly even remotely thinking of getting back with him... she is used to not being treated well. So too much of the "good" guy may turn her off or put you in friend zone... don't even ask WHY a woman would think this way but thats how it is. Like i said above be the nice guy BUT with edge, let her see you are an eligible bachelor but for some reason you are into her.

Tell her a secret or feign a weakness then say "im only doing this because i think your special" or something to that effect. Like i said this advice is namely aimed for IF you are considering to make her your girl friend, different tactics are used if it's just a hook up. Good luck!

OKAY. Before I can give ANY rational answer to any of this, you need to be enlightened on a few key notes from that story. Here:
Bingbingbing. Asshole ex walks back into her life at any random point. So? Women love assholes! This women has proven that that is what is necessary to gain access to her pants.


She loved it for a reason. She was going through the typical woman's cycle after they break up with their "asshole" boyfriends where they temporarily finally pay attention to the guys that do this in order to get themselves over that break up. Short lived at that, before the boyfriend is able to creep into her life and she starts to miss that passionate lifestyle from before.

Personally...I think doing shit like this in general is stupid. If people think doing this is okay in the "beginning", why do you think the assholes always have the advantage? A woman accepts these gestures when she needs to feel attention and confirmation. Of course it's "sweet" but that's not getting you anywhere in her pants quicker, and infact driving you to her either next boyfriend or ex who treats her like "shit".

Everything was fine until this....She basically told you she lied to you earlier to get out of seeing you on your terms and you left your friends to rush and see her and her friends? Now, i rarely throw around this term because it's used WAY too much in this community, but this my friend was a shit-test. This girl is doing what pretty much all women do. Test your limits. Would her "asshole" boyfriend do this even though she "isnt sure" about him...that's why she's attracted to him.

Like I was saying earlier...being a polar opposite to the thing she hates at the moment might win you her favor in the short term, but you're doing wrong things to progress this to where you want it to go and you'll start hearing more and more about this ex. That is, if she just doesn't find a fresh new asshole to start over with.
Not to nitpick but this could have been worded a bit better. It's kinda clever but when you say something like this, you need to have a strong sexual presence. If I can imagine someone saying this to a girl, it's with a goofy grin and nervous laughing throughout. Never stop being sexual. Im typically not sexual all the time but I love to be blunt with them at times and see the looks on their faces.

Something like, "Really? Well, im better." Wish strong eye contact and body language. Dont add anything or explain yourself. That takes balls to say to their face and lays the cards on the table. "And changed the subject?", was a great move by the way but would have been excellent had you done it with confidence from before.
Oh dear god, did you also play Uno and sing campfire songs around a pitfire? Things in common? I have nothing against you at all my man, but you are just not being aggressive enough. That sentence just emits the lack of effort you put into getting her into your bed that night.

Tehh her to come over have a drink and watch a movie. Simply offering this doesn't imply you want anything from it, only her attention. (As long as it's done right and respectfully) and she'll have that "excuse" for seeing you later that night. Women usually dont wanna feel like a booty call, give her that excuse to put that little mind at ease.
Like all of our experiments with the opposite sex, when one is failing to live up to expectations, you lose interest. It's all once simple thing. No aggression to progress. It wont happen this way. A girl will only give a guy so many signals or chances.

Any proof of this?
That's been the theme of all of this. All of your intentions of showing interest come out in this sweet mushy mess because you want to attack it two different ways when her history shows that's not what she responds too. She didnt even bother to come up with a different lie to get out of the following day, Honestly, if you weren't getting anything from her the night of the party, I would have just dropped her out of mind till she called again.

Again, sorry for the long post but there were, to me, so many holes that needed to be addressed before I could really say anything about this as a whole. What I believe honestly, is that if you and the girl have not had a sexual encounter after hanging out on three separate occasions, then the chances of it happening are incredibly slim.

I dont care if she's that kind of girl or not. If a girl isn't at least showing that interest by a certain time, then it probably wont happen. And it doesn't mean simply wanting to hang out, I mean being SEXUAL. If a girl can make you jump at the drop of a hat to come see her she will exercise that power. Doesn't mean she wants to bang ya.

So, I've invested alot of time into this post as you can see lol. Let me know how it goes man. Again, these are just observations from experience. I didn't give you any Psychedelic techniques or anything. Not needed in the slightest to rationalize this situation. Advice: Dont give up! Give her another two weeks or so and get back out there with a revised game plan of trying to progress things. In the mean time, go bang like 30 more chicks

"Women love assholes". She have a birthday coming up? Forget it. She get a new hair style? Looks the same to me. This works magic on women who have low self esteem which are generally the attractive ones. it doesn't literally MAKE you an asshole to do this, you simply know how to get what you want. Her boyfriend seems to know the trick.

sounds like a raging case of One-Itis in the making.

don't put her on a pedastal.

It's usually never a good sign when a post starts out with, "I think I may have met my dream woman!".