NEED A RESPONSE! Is she testing me or playing me?



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:39 pm 
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Been on a couple dates with this girl, gotten head from her, no sex yet. I say I want to see her last night and we were gonna meet up at a party.

I go to the party and I notice her, and she's dancing with a girl friend of hers...I THINK she noticed me and it seemed like she turned to her friend, trying to hide herself so I just went and started hitting on whoever. But later she texts "where are you?" She finds me and acts kinda distant..says hi but then starts just walking aimlessly. We were gonna go to the dance floor but she just goes with her girl friend and some guy she's friends with. She said she wanted to dance and she told me she wanted to see me. So I follow to the dance floor and she does the whole "dance with the girl I'm friends with" but then comes over and we start grinding. We make out for a bit and she throws the "you def like me more than I like you." I actually freeze. I had nothing to say to that...and she knew she had gotten me. I'm thinking "this is bad..."

She then proceeds to be like "yeah I have a list of other guys I could be with right now." then kisses me. So finally, I just go "alright, enough of these hard to get games" and I kiss her hard, grabbing her close, and she responds pretty well to that. She introduces me to one of her friends and I go "so I bet you told all your friends about me, like a cute schoolgirl crush." she goes "not really, I just tell them where I'm going when I go to see you, that's about it."

this entire time we're making out and dancing. Finally, the party gets busted and she grabs my hand as we walk to her place. She's like "my roommate is so drunk but she's really awesome." I go "well can I come hang out with you and your roommate?" she goes "if you want" so I say "ehh maybe I'll go back to my place.." and she says "alright go ahead, no skin off my back" but immediately after tells me "that's the wrong way to my building, you have to go up here!"

we chill in her room and her roommate falls asleep. we start going at it, clothes come off, we don't fuck but she gives me head, and before that, every time I'm like "I should leave" she doesn't move even though she has to sign me out and she gives me this sad puppy dog face and says "lay with me for a while!" so then I go to the bathroom and come back, she's standing up, changing for bed, grabs me and just kisses me. I'm like "HA! so is this just for coming back?" she nods and kisses me. When I'm laying with her she would kiss me awake if I started to nod off, and would say "I like kissing you/I'm glad I saw you tonight/You're sweet/You're cute/You're too much/You're a jerk (then playfully hit me)"

and also we talked about relationships for a little bit and she told me about a guy earlier in the year who would be really sweet during the week and would just go to parties and do whatever with whoever on the weekends. So my question is, since the beginning and end of my night don't seem to match up, is she just trying to test me and see if I'll hurt her or she now has control and just wants a boytoy? I think, and some girls I've asked think I'm being tested and she's playing hard to get, but I dunno. Next time I see her, my plan was to just be like "so...I don't get you." then explain. Which is probably the most AFC, needy thing I could do.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:39 pm 
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Sounds to me like she's testing you. Since she basically described exactly what you guys were doing she wants to know where you're at. She seems really into you, and like you said, she's constantly trying to DHV herself. Play it cool, then a few days later tell her she's coming over for dinner and a movie. Close, and do whatever you like after, she's yours.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:00 pm 
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That's what I thought. Thanks for the advice, I'll send some flirty texts on occasion but on like tuesday -kll tell her she's coming over. But, the one bad thing is, my drunk self yesterday kept bringing up the list of guys...not in a "are there really other guys?" But more in a whenever I negged her I said "that's okay you have your list" and laughed or "well I have a list of girls...al rich models of course. The guys on your list rich?" She goes "nooo it's college they're all broke! But rich models huh?" And I go "yeah and for some reason I decided on you." And I kiss her. I feel like I failed that test....

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:36 pm 
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i gotta bump this...i need other opinions too.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:10 pm 
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how old is she?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:13 pm 
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Quote:
how old is she?
she's 19...is that seriously a factor?

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:16 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
how old is she?
she's 19...is that seriously a factor?
no. age affects nothing. :roll:

i won't even offer my two cents, chances are you wouldn't listen anyway.

good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:18 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
how old is she?
she's 19...is that seriously a factor?
no. age affects nothing. :roll:

i won't even offer my two cents, chances are you wouldn't listen anyway.

good luck.
nah man, I'll actually listen. I'm seriously lost here, I'll take all the advice I get. I mean, I'm ACTUALLY here to learn, this forum's helped me more than I'd care to admit and no dick-riding, but every time I see your posts, they're spot on.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:29 pm 
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alright.

she is young, as i suspected. (keep in mind, i don't know you or her, but from the story i could tell she was likely under 20). i'm 32, going on 33, so i've got some perspective. i've been having sex about as long as she's been alive. ;) that lends itself to perspective.

i did read your entire post and it sounds like she is all over the place, and in rapid fire, hot-then-cold, near-then-far, push-then-pull, all about you and then all about them.

i implore you to look up the dictionary definition of "mixed signals" and it will have a picture of this girl in place of the definition. sounds to me like she is a bit of a player, but you are a better player. you are putting on your A Game, and it is throwing her off.

newsflash for you, she isn't going to grow up overnight and get over this mixed signals thing. she is young and just loving the attention from whatever angle it comes and in whatever form is manifests.

if that is what you want, pursue her.

if not, fuck her from time to time, and find a girl with less mixed signals.

be a pragmatist, quit trying to figure out what is going on in her head, and look at what she is ACTUALLY DOING. either you like it, love it, and want some more of it, or you don't.

feel me?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:38 pm 
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alright.

she is young, as i suspected. (keep in mind, i don't know you or her, but from the story i could tell she was likely under 20). i'm 32, going on 33, so i've got some perspective. i've been having sex about as long as she's been alive. ;) that lends itself to perspective.

i did read your entire post and it sounds like she is all over the place, and in rapid fire, hot-then-cold, near-then-far, push-then-pull, all about you and then all about them.

i implore you to look up the dictionary definition of "mixed signals" and it will have a picture of this girl in place of the definition. sounds to me like she is a bit of a player, but you are a better player. you are putting on your A Game, and it is throwing her off.

newsflash for you, she isn't going to grow up overnight and get over this mixed signals thing. she is young and just loving the attention from whatever angle it comes and in whatever form is manifests.

if that is what you want, pursue her.

if not, fuck her from time to time, and find a girl with less mixed signals.

be a pragmatist, quit trying to figure out what is going on in her head, and look at what she is ACTUALLY DOING. either you like it, love it, and want some more of it, or you don't.

feel me?
yeah after she told me "I don't play games, I'm pretty straightforward." I realized...this chick LOVES to play games

But thanks for the insight. As much as it annoys me, I'm doing the same thing back to her so I guess I should've expected it. Honestly though, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think she definitely has feelings for me, cause I can still see an LTR coming out of this. When we're actually together, it's amazing...she's just a party girl, and I'm a party guy and we love to do whatever, so for now, I'll take your advice, keep it casual, hit it from time to time and just let it go where it's gonna go.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:15 pm 
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Ive experienced this exact same storey.

And 1 month later she is my "trophy Gf"

You're obviously into this girl likewise, the girl in my storey was my first real crush since i was 16. Im 20 now and my girl is a similar age. The mixed signals are coming from a mixture of insecurities and HV this girl ultimately thinks she has and wants you to see however, youve always got to be incharge. She must want you and not vice versa no matter how hard it is you cannot give her what she wants. I dont think you have done anything wrong so far per se, but i would carry on with caution. Neg her playfully, i used this on my target "you know why me and you could never be with each other, we would always argue over who is best and id aways win" DHV and a little neg.

The only way to go is to go in with an i dont give a f*** attitude. go see her and no matter how much she wants you to sray, you gotta say you gotta go in ten minutes,make her earn your time. look in demand, and make sure she knows youre always busy, a fun sociable guy, youre the alpha male, the most sociable guy at the party. If youre at a party with her make sure you work the room and let her see this. Dont go pull other girls, just talk to sets and make them laugh, gain everyones respect and she will know youre the right guy. I know most of what im probably saying is a given for you, but this is all i did and i won through. Im not aware of your dating game/text game/phone game, but this girl is testing you to see if youre capable of being her boyfriend. Do not i repeat do not buy her drinks/meals. Text her, so when are you buying me a coffee for staying with you last night. DHV, she has to pay for your time. Its simple mystery method.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:40 pm 
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Quote:
Ive experienced this exact same storey.

And 1 month later she is my "trophy Gf"

You're obviously into this girl likewise, the girl in my storey was my first real crush since i was 16. Im 20 now and my girl is a similar age. The mixed signals are coming from a mixture of insecurities and HV this girl ultimately thinks she has and wants you to see however, youve always got to be incharge. She must want you and not vice versa no matter how hard it is you cannot give her what she wants. I dont think you have done anything wrong so far per se, but i would carry on with caution. Neg her playfully, i used this on my target "you know why me and you could never be with each other, we would always argue over who is best and id aways win" DHV and a little neg.

The only way to go is to go in with an i dont give a f*** attitude. go see her and no matter how much she wants you to sray, you gotta say you gotta go in ten minutes,make her earn your time. look in demand, and make sure she knows youre always busy, a fun sociable guy, youre the alpha male, the most sociable guy at the party. If youre at a party with her make sure you work the room and let her see this. Dont go pull other girls, just talk to sets and make them laugh, gain everyones respect and she will know youre the right guy. I know most of what im probably saying is a given for you, but this is all i did and i won through. Im not aware of your dating game/text game/phone game, but this girl is testing you to see if youre capable of being her boyfriend. Do not i repeat do not buy her drinks/meals. Text her, so when are you buying me a coffee for staying with you last night. DHV, she has to pay for your time. Its simple mystery method.
Thanks man, this is exactly what I was considering. Well, not exactly, but I always make sure to give dap to everyone I know at a party, I always give any girl I know a hug, but I was drunk and dead-set on her on Friday and kinda screwed that up, but she still invited me back. She still hasn't brought me around her friends and I just saw her walking round campus with the girl my buddy took when I first opened the two of them back in September. My girl did the whole "talk to the friend and act like I don't notice him" cause she took off her sunglasses to see me from far away then turned. She wants me to prove myself to her. Too bad, I don't prove myself to girls, they prove themselves to me. I have a date with her Wednesday. I told her flat-out "we're getting dinner wednesday. wear red. i like red." That sets up for 1. I'm not paying for her meal. 2. she doesn't wear red, and i neg.

But, I know I should've definitely left on Friday...

But this couldn't be a more perfect time. My birthday is next weekend, my old fuck buddy just started talking to me again, and I have a bunch of girls I'm STRICTLY friends with coming up this weekend, but they're attractive and I didn't extend an invite to come out to the new girl. But there will definitely be plenty of pictures. (I won't be doing anything with some other girls in those pictures, I'm not aiming for jealousy obviously, just DHV) But maybe I'll conveniently "run into her" while I'm out with my crew.

But I really like that DHV and neg you suggested, that one will definitely be getting some use on Wednesday.

But yup, as insecure and hurt as she's been by this last guy I mentioned and her crazy ex she told me about, she thinks she's hands down the shit, cause she's a dance major, and I've been with a few of the dance majors and all of them are the SAME WAY.

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