@kasabi I've been thinking a lot about all this lately, and usually, I'm not bad at thinking . But don't be impressed by that. What I do need is action right now. I'm tired of thinking /complaining about my Inner Game. I know the solutions. It's simple: let's apply them.

Thanks again for your help.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

This is the stuff winners are made from.

The ability to know their flaws...

The ability to work on their flaws...

Keep... It up... I'm following.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

This forum has been going on for a while and to be honest there have been a small amount of results that have happened here and there. But the best thing to do is not to mix activity with productivity. There are PUAs here that get it the first few days but sometimes it messes up their lifestyle ending up crash and burning. Success is a journey through mountains and valleys. Daniel you seem to be in a very deep valley but soon a mountain is coming and the view from atop is as much greater when you go through a lot.

_________________

"We Go Truly Hard, Styles Like Julia"-Hoodie Allen

Thanks Hobbit. That sounds good to boost self-estim and strengthen my Inner Game. I also understand that the less you speak about something, the less you actually think it and the less you believe it. I also have to finish The Power of Now, the concept of "ego" in this book can be useful to me.
You have a gift to point out the weaknesses of my posts. Indeed, I still have to think about what an "attractive lifestyle" is for me. I guess I'll figure out when I'll be in Brazil (it depends on the spare time I'll have there). Nevertheless, here's some elements that are linked to the "attractive lifestyle" I would like to build:
- Having a great social circle: knowing a lot of people (being popular?), being the guy people like to be with, ...
- Learning a new skill: joining a class to learn how to dance? sing? take photos? cook? music instrument? NLP? Yoga?
- Being in shape: working out (joining a fitness club? sport association?)
- Living in a great place: having a stylish flat
- Teaching somebody: teaching French to someone?
- ...
The problem is, it's hard to define what is an attractive lifestyle. Attractive to who? To others? (DHV, storytelling, ...) To me? (boosting self esteem, ...). I really like the concept though, I will definitely post something on that subject later.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Thanks tweeby. This exercise is actually really good to achieve any goal in life.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

You're absolutely right HappySlip. I do need more results. I think I'm at a turning point right now, but I'll get nowhere if I don't take actions.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

The progression of this thread is proof that you're already living an attractive lifestyle. You have a following on this thread because you are demonstrating attractive qualities and an attractive lifestyle. Others are emulating your journal because they can not only see the logic, but also feel the positive energy of this thread. Believe me, you're going to get a similar following in real life when you get to Brazil. Just continue this path and have some patience.

An attractive lifestyle isn't a set of activities, it's an awareness of the World and actively participating in it with some fortitude. Keep up the passion and the activities will in fact find you. I'm not sure if it serves you well to choose activities by gauging perceived attractive qualities.

On the other hand, some people have no plans, no goals, no action, no thought, no concerns , but still say, "I want to build an attractive lifestyle". For people like this, it might benefit them to choose what they perceive to be cool and devote some time + effort into it as a personal 'way in' to living a more attractive lifestyle.

Fun thread.

DAY 33: getting better at conversations.
The best interaction I've had since I'm in the Game.

Welcome to the first post of this new (and better organized) chapter of my learning journal. I'm now following Kasabi's advice: I'll focus on the goals (strategy...) and lessons.

Addressed issues:
- Inability to start and hold a conversation with strangers
- Linearity in conversations
Issues categories: 11-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=159
- LACK OF EXPERIENCE/SKILLS
- LACK OF CONSISTENCY
- LACK OF CONFIDENCE

Solution: approach.
Approaching women obviously requires conversation skills. Usually, I easily open a set with a basic opener but end up in a conversation trap: I have the information I wanted with my opener and don't really know how to keep the conversation alive. Yet holding conversation is necessary to build comfort and attraction. Hobbit gave me an insight on that issue in the PUA chat: I need to be able to easily switch the topic of the conversation (= non linear conversation). That's exactly what I wanted to work on today.

Strategy:
The opener would be basic: "I'm trying to find a scarf for my sister" or "Nice scarf, I would like to find one like this for my sister". I thought about several elements to make this switch that will allow me to hold the conversation.
- spontaneous remarks (LyricalDream's exercise)
- remarks on how she behaves (shy? smiling? laughing?...)
- introducing me

Goals
At the end of the day I want to have opened 2 sets with whom I switched the conversation topic from the opener. I also have to remember the color of her eyes (extra).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's talk numbers. I opened more than 17 women today with that opener. In addition, I had 4/5 great interactions with women employees at the mall (out of today's goal).

Hilfiger's girls.
The first nice interaction I had was at Tommy Hilfiger's store. I asked a HB8,5 about the scarf but she did not know and told me to ask another 28yo HB7 employee. I walked straight to the HB7 and asked her for the scarf. I maintained eye-contact while I was talking to her and had a good body language. Surprisingly, I was making her shy (I love that). As I noticed it, I focused on her even more, letting her speak. She was shorter than me, I was showing clear dominance and it was really amazing to see her go get the information and come back to me. She was moving a lot (not standing on her feet) and tried to avoid my eyes. She even asked me if I wanted the phone number of the store (which was really weird, guess she was stressed), I told her I'll come back.
=> This girl was clearly older than me, maybe the manager of the store but I made her shy. That was not a real conversation though, this approach is out of my goal but it gave me some confidence. (eye color: grey/green)

I tried with some other sets after but was less successful: too busy, not shy at all, not opened for conversation

Zara's girls.
Some minutes later, I entered Zara's women store (and not men's one). I opened a wonderful HB9 brunette with the scarf opener. I maintained eye-contact, had a good body language but she was not shy at all. We had a good interaction though.
ME - Hi
HER - Hi. (I always wait for her to notice me before asking the question)
ME - I'm looking for a scarf like this one (showing mine) for my little sister. Do you have any of those?
HER - We have those over there bla bla bla
ME - Don't you have something more... you know with pattern..
HER - Is she young? I mean how old is she?
ME - Oh yeah, I said little sister but she's 18 though.
HER - Okay, let me bring you some scarfs we just received.
She went to the back of the store, I waited for 3 minutes. It was hot, I took my leather jacket off. I was really surprised to see her going to the back of the store just to help me.
HER - Here's what we've just received.
ME - Well yeah... bla bla bla
HER - Anyway, we can check the kids part of the store.
Here I was, following the HB9 brunette. She asked another HB employee where the scarfs were (I said hello to her).
HER - This one is like yours look.
ME - Yeah cool, bla bla
In the end I thanked her and her colleague for their assistance and left.
=> She was wonderful and (surprisingly) really willing to help me. I wanted to switch the conversation topic and build something out of a conversation but I was really surprised by the fact that she left to the back of the store and then asked me to follow her. Again, out of today's goal. (eye color: dark brown)

Bershka's girl.
Directly after, I went to a Bershka store and opened a beautiful HB8 with the same opener. She was really friendly.
ME - Hi.
HER - Hi.
ME - I'm looking for a scarf like this one for my little sister. Do you have any of those?
HER - Oh this one is not from Bershka (she thought I was speaking of her scarf! )
ME - I meant like mine. But wait. Really? So you work at Bershka but do not dress here? (=> C&F)
HER - I don't buy my accessories here but the rest is from Bershka (smiling and laughing)
ME - ... (saying nothing, just looking at her)
HER - so we have these but they're not like yours...
ME - indeed.
HER - there are some others her, but well (she was seeing that there were not beautiful at all, lol). This one is not bad, I would take this one.
ME - Yeah right, but I would like something more adult... When I say my "little" sister, people think she's 12, but she's 18 in reality. (learned from my interaction just before)
HER - yeah?
ME - yeah, oh, I see you have a piercing? (at the nose) She's planning to have one to (lie, whatever) (=> switch of conversation topic).
HER - I had it when I was 18 too, at this age you know...
ME - yeah I know... Plus I'm leaving soon...
HER - bla bla
Can't remember how it ended but I thanked her. I had a great opportunity to Kino her at the end but did not (reflex lacking). That's the best interaction I have had with a girl since I'm in the game.
=> Opened, switched topic and have the eye-color (brown). First result! I do think I could have # closed her. I actually should have tried, but the reflex was not here, and truth is I was already happy with the result of the conversation.

I opened some other set but the vibe was not the same and I did not manage to switch the conversation topic.

Buying a pair of Converse.
I wanted to buy a pair of shoes. I asked a HB6 to get me the Converse I wanted. I was not trying to game her but she happened to be really friendly so I went for it.
HER - Right foot or left foot?
ME - Right. (trying the shoes)
HER - Excuse me, I come back in a second.
ME - No problem.
She comes back.
ME - I take them.
HER - Wouldn't you like to check in a mirror? (there were no mirror where I was sat, shit test?)
ME - No I'll be fine, I'm used to Converser shoes. Once you wore a pair, you know what's like.
HER - Yeah right. Plus these ones are thin, it changes from the classic ones.
ME - Sure, I did not like them at the beginning though... bla bla
HER - bla bla
ME - oh but you're wearing converse shoes too (spontaneous remark)
HER - yeah sure...
We spend the next minute kidding about how it was weird to walk with Converse the first time. Then when I was about to pay.
HER - Do you have a fidelity card?
ME - No, I don't.
HER - Would you like one, it's free... bla bla
ME - No, actually I'm leaving France. (=> switching topic)
HER - Cool! Well depends on where you're going.
ME - I'm going to Brazil (should have been funny here: Irak!)
HER - Owww that's sooo coool..
ME - Yeah it is... I'll be in summer in one week.
When I left, she screamed through the store that I must bring some sun if I come back. I gave her my word. I guess she was trying to know if I was coming back.
=> She helped me a lot on this one, plus I was buying shoes... but I still switched conversation and got her eye-color: brown. I'm giving myself a half point on this one.

Results.
1,5/2 sets opened with a switch of conversation topic + eye color.

I opened other girls, had good interactions with some of them I went back home.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a long day with a lot of interactions. I've learned a lot today.

On the strategy.
- The opener was not bad but it did not trigger a real conversation, especially since I used it on employees: most of them just helped me and had no reason to stay and talk to me.
- I should try the "non employee version" of the opener: "oh I was looking for a scarf like that for my sister, where did you buy it?"
- I did not introduce myself to switch topic: I could have done it with the HB8 with whom I had a some comfort.
- I did not make comments on how the target was behaving during the interaction to switch topic: "oh you're nice/funny/... have you been working here for long?"
- Having a scripted opener helped me: repeating it several times with different girls allowed me to learn quickly to perform it.

In general.
- ALL ABOUT REPETITION: Repetition is the father of all learning, the more I perform a strategy, the more competence I get, the more I get used to it.
- BEING FRIENDLY: Smiling, kidding... well being friendly is mandatory to pick-up! You can only get a number if she has enough comfort with you.
- HAVING BALLS: Most of the girls are already impressed by a guy who have the balls to walk right to them and engage a friendly conversation with no stress at all. Actually that's not having balls at all, but they are already impressed! I want to be more ballsy to see what happens!
- ABUNDANCE: I'm seeing it now! I've approached 17 women, had a really cool vibe with one of them. I do believe I could have # close. With more competence and skills, I can get 3/4 numbers in a day like this. Need a girl? Let's go to the mall and pick some.
- SEXUAL TENSION: I need it but I did not have it today. I wish I have been more turned on when I spoke to the sets.

Questions to move on.
- How can I switch the conversation topic easily? Am I missing some elements? Do you have some tips on that subject?
- How can I be sure to have this sexual tension in me while sarging?
- How can I improve this exercise? How would you change the goals?

Next steps.
I'll do the same kind of exercise tomorrow. I have to get reflexes in conversation. Once I'll have these, I'll work on the finishing skills: the closing.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Thanks Hobbit.

The opener could be better indeed. But what was good about it was that I actually knew what to say to open. Before, I used to set up goals as "opening 3 sets" and did not know what to say to open. I used to waste many opportunity by not knowing what to say.
Now that I have a specific goal, I go with an opener in head, I approach many more girls and, even if my ratio is not that good (I could have tried to #close one in 17 approaches), I have much more material to get experience.

Now the thing is, I realized that I still do not control the "vibe". With some girls it's on, with others, it's clearly not here. I have to work on that... more smile, more kidding, ... My ratio would get better with such a skill.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Hi! Daniel Greetings,
I am an AFC like you.
Have been following your post since last month.
You have been doing amazing progress..
I will be also starting my journal and you inspire me to do so..


I am a bit fat( a bit ) SO i think i get rejected .. I am working on it though.
What do you think , does it really matter??

BTW, hope you can also give me some advice once i start my journal

DAY 34: still on conversations.
Spanish flavour.

Same exercise as yesterday but in a different mall.

Addressed issues:
- Inability to start and hold a conversation with strangers
- Linearity in conversations
Issues categories: 11-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=159
- LACK OF EXPERIENCE/SKILLS
- LACK OF CONSISTENCY
- LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Solution: approach.

Strategy:
After reflection, I'm not changing my toolbox. I'm keeping the "I'm looking for a scarf for my sister" opener. Yet, I thought about more elements to make the transition from the opener to a conversation:
- spontaneous remarks
- remarks on how she behaves (shy? smiling? laughing?...)
- introducing me
- new opener (use a new scripted conversation: "oh I also need a female opinion on something..."

Goals.
At the end of the day I want to have opened 3 sets (among which 1 non employee) with whom I switched the conversation topic from the opener. I also have to remember the color of her eyes (extra).

About approach anxiety.
I've read a great post from Rye Lee approach-anticipation-excitement-vt35880.html about approach anxiety. From now on, I won't speak about approach anxiety, but approach excitement. I do believe that naming this feeling in a more positive way will change the way I think about it and actually help me on appreciating it!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I approached 11 sets today (with the scarf opener or not) at a mall and at the Galerie Lafayette.

Spanish cute girl.
Wow. She was the second set I opened. She worked at a clothes store and opened her with the scarf opener. She was an HB8,5 and she was HOT. I actually have some approach excitement since she was my age and went for it.
ME - Hi.
HER - Hi.(again, I always wait for her to answer to my "hi" before asking anything, so I get her attention and eye contact.)
ME - I'm looking for a scarf like this one (showing mine) for my little sister. Do you have any of those?
HER - Yes... bla bla (she showed me some and I noticed a cuuuute accent)
ME - bla bla (scarf talk)
HER - bla bla (taking me to other scarfs)
ME - I like this one, let me see the price... bla bla.
HER - bla bla
ME - Is that a Spanish accent? (looking at her)
HER - Yes (suprised and shy )
ME - Where do you come from? (in Spanish baby!)
HER - Hum Spain... hum I mean Seville (she was troubled by my eye contact and presence)
ME - You know what, I'm in looooove with Seville (looking at her beautiful eyes)
HER - ... sure, it's a wonderful city. (she was smiling as hell and still troubled by me)
We spoke about Spain and the place we've been to.
ME - What are you doing here?
She told me that she was studying engineering and worked at the store to enhance her French.
HER - What about you?
I told her that I was student and leaving for Brazil in one week. In the end, I thanked her and she replied a "It was nice to meet you". She was gorgeous.
=> That was a great 10 min interaction. Once again, I switched the conversation topic with a spontaneous remark (on her accent). Her eyes were light-green. I should have tried a #close, I thought about it. I have to work on my closing skills when I'll be good with conversation.

I opened several other sets with the same opener in other stores. I had a great body language, maintained eye-contact and smile. Even if I did not manage to switch the conversation topic, I was trying to be funnier and smiled a lot.

Pull and Bear's girl.
I went to a Pull and Bear store and did the same opener. A cute HB8,5 brunette helped me again. Again, I was really surprised by how she was willing to help me. She showed me the new collection they just received. I did not managed to switch the conversation topic but there was a little something clearly going on, but that was not verbal. I try to leave three times but she kept me on stage. I don't know if she was a really good seller (I told her I would check in other stores) or if she was interested in me. In the end, she asked me if I wanted her to save some scarfs for me, I told her it was not necessary since there were not on the shelfs (new collection) so noone would take them from me. She laughed.
=> I'm giving myself a half point for this interaction since we have a vibe going between us. Eye-color: brown.

Since I did almost all the girls stores, I took the train to the Galeries Lafayette (huge store with luxuray brands). I opened several HB9 (I think HB8,5 is the minimum to get hired :p) with the scarf opener. It was really harder to make them shy this time but I was really proud to look at them right in the eyes. Yet, the level was too high for me: HBs used to rich men wearing luxury brands... I was wearing Converse shoes.

Results.
1,5/3. I failed in approaching a non-employee HB.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the strategy.
- Empoyees are great to practice: there are a lot of them and I know where to find them but I need to open non-employees if I really want to learn!
- I have to overcome my hesitation on introducing myself! I should have befriended the Spanish cute girl!
- I need to have the reflex of making a comment on how she behaves to switch topic on her: "oh you're nice/funny/... have you been working here for long?"
- I need more openers in my toolbox.

In general.
- ALL ABOUT REPETITION: I was really comfortable at opening with this opener!
- ABUNDANCE: Two great opportunities in two days. I'm really starting to believe in the abundance thing!
- CONFIDENCE: I'm getting a load of confidence since I show to myself that I can go straight to a hot girl and speak to her in the eyes and actually make her shy!
- GETTING REFLEXES: I start to develop some reflexes: I let them break the weird silence, I wait for her to notice me when I say hi...

Next steps.
I still have to work on transition from the opener to conversation. In two days, I had two great opportunities to do a #close attempt. The next step will be to work on the closing skills. I'm wasting too many opportunities. I'm going out tomorrow.

Questions to move on.
- What openers work well on street sets?
- How can I introduce myself smoothly? (knowing that shaking hands is not that common in France)

I AM LOVING THE GAME.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Just a couple of thoughts:

1. Consider getting yourself a journalist pad small enough to fit in a pocket. This is the perfect medium to figure out your openers as suggested in the bolognese thread. Plus, anybody with a creative-entrepreneurial spirit should always carry something to record his thoughts. I've tried this using mobile electronic devices and personally, it's not as rewarding as feeling a pen and pad in my hands.

2. You mention 'reflex' but what you're probably referring to is something more like "trained involuntary action". No matter where I am in the World, if I get burned, I will jerk that body part away from the heat source without thinking about it.(This is reflex) Right about that time or very soon after, I will scream something: Here's the funny thing. If I am in America for a long time, I'll scream something in English. If I am in Korea for a long time, I will scream something in Korean. And if I am in China for a while, I will scream something in Chinese. ~~ But I won't be conscious of this act. I never trained myself to specifically scream in that language in case I got burned; why do you suppose this occurs? Think about that . . .

This is the reason why the 'opener exercise' works. Even though you are not specifically opening anybody during the exercise, you are training yourself to do it. Even if the next 'open situation' is unlike anything you experienced while doing the 'park bench exercise', you will still react quickly and appropriately to the new situation. A). Deliberately sit down and try the exercise. B). If you miss an opportunity to open a girl and think up a clever opener moments later, write it down.

3. ^This is the same with kino . . . don't just wait for that "pick up situation" to try out kino. Most guys I know who are naturally good at touching women usually enjoy stimulating their tactile senses EVERYWHERE. Do this when you shop for vegetables and fruit. Do this when you visit new places. Do this more with your current friends/associates. Do this with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. LOL . . . probably not with Mona Lisa.

Also, I suggest you take a look at "Gambler's Youtube" series. . . and pay attention to what he says about 'levels of kino'. It's EASY to just high five a girl right? It's easier to hold hands once you high five a girl. It's easier to grab her elbow once you grab her hands, etc . . . It's a progression. All you need is a 'way in' to kino. Get that first one . . . and you're all set.

4. My thoughts on "Vibe": As men, we have one ON/OFF switch with a volume adjuster that's it. We see a hot girl and the switch turns on. Then the only thing left to do is turn that volume up or down. Our dicks rise and fall in accordance with this dial. Very simple. . .

On the other hand, it shouldn't be a surprise to anybody that women have multiple switches and dials. . . the problem is that we can't always see these switches. And to make it even more confusing, every girl owns a different set of switches, organized in her personal way that are stimulated differently according to her menstrual cycle. (This last one is a wild guess but I think it's a good one. LOL . . .)

This is the reason why in your experience of 17 girls, 1 responded; you figured out her switch. And with other girls, you didn't 'explore' further to see what turns them on. This is also why you are hearing recommendations to 'switch topics'. What you're doing is looking for that switch which turns her on/sparks her interest. Once you discover HER switch, you turn up the "volume dial" for that switch. Makes sense?

5. Self intro: Anytime you're having a decent conversation, just stop yourself and go, "Oh, I'm sorry . . . I'm AFC DANIEL." and offer your hand - This makes you the polite one for introducing yourself first. She'll whip her hand out real quick and blurt out her name. - A mutual "Nice to meet you," and you're all set. After this point, refer to her by name.

*I'm noticing in your conversations that you are very, very sane. This is good for talking your way out of a speeding ticket, presenting a business plan, or discussing medical issues with your doctor, but when you're having a conversation with a girl for the first time, it's OK to try out the 'weird' and create some tense moments or crazy moments or start up fantasy-like chats that have nothing to do with anything.

Too many examples to list everything but it's OK to go:

Girl: Do you want a free Fidelity Card?
You: Oh, I knew it. All that smiling and flirting . . . OK, how much?
Girl: No it's free! . . lol . .
You: Well if you say so but I'd like a receipt please. And you better sign that . . . also, I think it's a good idea to put your number on there.
girl: ??
You: Well, I can call you up for a movie. . . or I can call you up in case I get charged later for that card. Mostly, I'd say the number is for the date. . . maybe 70 percent.
girl:?? LOL .. .
You: You've convinced me. Don't say more . . . I'll only call you for the date, OK?

^This is my 'stupid' that I just made up. Make some up for yourself. Don't be afraid of 'stupid'. It's not a disease.

I've got a small Moleskine notepad, I'll take it with me now.
Got you. And I can do the same with conversations. That's the REPLAY thing I've been doing recently after Hobbit posted one of your thread 10-vt81510.html?start=149.
Agree. Yet isn't it a little to early to speak about KINO escalation while approaching strangers? I guess shaking hands would be a first step. I've tested some KINO with friends and I have to admit it worked really well.
Interesting perspective. Everywhere I look, I see new things to learn... Sometimes I feel like I'm in front of Mount Everest. I'm willing to climb and I know that the journey is worth. But now that I have a clearer view on the path I have to take, it seems that it's becoming even longer and harder. Yet I know that I the first crucial checkpoints are right in front of me. I have to be patient.
As I wrote, offering your hand to introduce yourself is a bit weird in France, but I'll do it anyway. It's a great opportunity to start a KINO escalation and switch the conversation topic.
Actually, you're right. I'm being friendly but I should be flirty too. It will make her shy and I'll build a seduction friend (vs. friendly). Some elements:
- fake that I misunderstood her: "What?!" "?" "What have you just said?" "bla bla" "oh ok, I heard something else..." "what have you heard?"
- when noticing that she's trying to have more info on me (scarf opener): "are you trying to know if I have a gf?"
- "are you flirting with me?"
- ...
Being flirty... something else I have to work on!

Thanks Kasabi.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Yes...Yes...Yes.

Or to paraphrase 60YearsOfChallenge...

'Tensions already exists between a guy and a girl. As the guy you should work at simply NOT reducing the tension.'

AFCDaniel, Kasabi is right that at the moment all your conversations are sane... Or normal. I guess if you are comfortable with opening now you should try to introduce tension into the conversations you have with your targets.

What I tend to do if I'm talking to a cute cashier and I feel there is chemistry I lean over the counter and look directly into her eyes and smile... Then I risk being being creepy... I risk saying those things you're NOT supposed to say...

'You're kinda cute... I bet you've got loadsa guys chasing you...'
'Wow what a smile... Damnmm.'
Eyeing the girl up and down blatantly... 'Wow the paramedics are gonna have to help me get my jaw off the ground... because baby you're the bomb.'

And yeah, definitely try number closing ALL THE TIME.

Remember, at the moment you are just de-sensitising yourself to the approach. Something you THOUGHT would never happen...but hey it's happening.

All you have to do now is throw in that number close into the routine and same thing will happen here.

This is what I call 'systematic de-sensitisation.'

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Hi Daniel,

I've been reading this thread for a while and it's really amazing to see your progress. Just to remind you in case you've forgotten!

i. you used to have total AA and no clue what to say - now you are approaching people regularly and you're finding it easier and easier to naturally converse with people. That, in itself, is awesome. Most people just let all their opportunities walk on by without even thinking its possible to approach whoever they what, whenever they want! Way to go!

right now i think you still have some limiting beliefs about yourself. in my experience the reason i'm always able to number close is that once a conversation has been established there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that i will get her number. lo and behold, i get her number. our beliefs, to a large degree, determine our projections and our actions. some success will really help you acquire this confidence, but you'll never get the success if you don't try. i think you're ready to be a bit more direct, but maybe just get some facebook closes since you're moving to brazil soon and probably wont have the time to nurture a little relationship. i think a great direct line for you could be something like:

[after a few minutes conversation]:
Daniel: hey, so i'm leaving the country soon, but i won't be gone forever, i think you're really interesting, how can i keep in touch with you?
HB: lol i dont know do you have [a phone/facebook]?
Daniel: what's that? jk! of course, whats your [name/number]?
HB: it's -----------------

done.

great work man. you're well on your way!

you seem like a genuinely good person, don't worry about being a jerk or an asshole, you'll probably get less random hook ups, but you're the exact type of guy that girls want to date, so work that angle. just be direct (this is the Worst mistake that 'nice' guys make, they act like they don't want sex, or that it's bad to not want sex. you can be nice and horny at the same time, and girls will love you for it).

cheers bro!