ok so me and this girl dating for like 2 months or so... i talked to her about wearing her x's ring.. now after like a month and i told her to take off the ring it doesnt make sense to have it on cause it symbolizes something.. anyways im like ok wtf? and shes like i felt like something was missing on my finger like in terms of jewelry..(shes a high maintenance chick that loves gold and diamonds) i was like whats going on with you, why would you do that when you know it symbolizes something she said your right understood and put it in her pocket, after 3 hours i see it on her hand again i stare at it for 15 sec straight then she i think saw me looking? and tried to stir my attention elsewhere and took it off.. and im like do you think im some kind of idiot? we just talked about this? and shes like i just returned it because i didnt wanna lose it... and it was off.. i was very very very very cold to her couldnt looka t her in the face.. then she left... hasnt said a word i sent her a txt saying man up talk, you did something wrong and cant even confront it? no txt back no nothnig im about to throw this shit out.. but it seems as if its sincere, i mean she cant be that dumb after a 2 hr convo to return the ring on the finger knowing i will see her later? opinions please, and how i should talk to her from now on

bro. she's fucking with you, and she's loving it, because you're reacting.

you have one of two options:

i. ignore it. this will drive her crazy and eventually she will probably ditch the ring and tell you about this super revelation that she had about how bad it was what she was doing.

ii. ditch her.

ignoring it will not be an option i will see her ring and thing in my mind something is there between them, and its driving me crazy but i dont let her know it... i think ditching might be an option but idk she hasnt talked to me since its a gay break up it was over such a stupid thing

Two words my friend: Inner game. Why should you care? Have some self esteem.

it just sickens me i guess everytime i see her ring i just get reminded of her x... and it turns me off... like it just sickens me that reminds me of her x... idk how to explain it in simpler words i cant put up with it..

who gives a fuck man... like the guy said... inner game... the more you react... the more you come off as a pussy, and the more she will fuck with you! don't react... don't care... man up or bitch out.

_________________
futility is doing the same thing over again expecting different results... change the way you do things and get different results... experiment

i am not so sure i agree with all of this advice saying "man up". i am here to tell you if a girl i was dating seriously started wearing a ring i knew was a romantic gift from an ex-bf i would be pissed. and justifiably so.

i think he did the right thing saying something.

there is a difference between a shit test and just nasty fucking behavior, guys. not every fucked up thing a woman does can simply be dismissed as an "ignorable shit test".

what if she fucks his brother? "just ignore it dude, man up, act unphased!!!"

REALLY?

i'd say you have to have standards, whether in a relationship or not. i applaud him for having the balls to address it.

HOWEVER,

he did get upset about it. which is not what i would have recommended. i would have just told her it ain't going to happen. period. give me a call when you aren't wearing the ring, or don't call at all, and move on.

i hear the advice saying "IGNORE IT!"

but i guess i would recommend the advice of:

GFTOW!!!!

Nice strawman! The ring's a joke, if that phases you, you've got bigger issues. If she's fucking your brother, a) you're doing something wrong, and b) you walk. There are things that should phase you and things that shouldn't. Where you draw the line is your deal, but don't be petty. If your least favorite color is yellow, would you throw a bitchfit because she painted her nails yellow? I think not. All we are saying is that the ring thing is on the same side of any reasonable line.

thing is i asked her to remove it once, she did, 3 hours later put it on again .. i feel like its lack of respect to one another you feel me.. like fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on you.. but its more like fool me third time im a bitch or some cool shit like that... if i see the bitch wearing it a 3rd time its game IMO

protip: she wants you to buy her a ring. i wouldn't, obviously, she sounds like a cunt. i would just ignore it, but if you can't, then ditch her ass. with a solid freeze out she will probably crawl back.

there is a difference between a pickup mentality and a serious relationship mentality. you seem to be confused, and think that shit should apply across the board. for instance, if i was trying to "pick up" a chick, i could give a fuck less if she was wearing a ring, a cowbell, or a orange jumpsuit. however, if i was in an exclusive "relationship" (not just picking up a girl) and she did that, it would be game over.

again, i said, i agree he shouldn't have gotten pissed or blew his top, but i would have walked and told her why. and literally been done with it.

what i am saying is that there seem to be some people on this forum who say "IT'S A SHIT TEST" for every possible thing a woman does. i just got out of a relationship with a woman with histrionic/borderline personality disorder, there are actually people here who say "you can fix her by not being phased, dude, lol".

i'm here to tell you "borderline personality disorder" is not a shit test

nor is disrespect to a level of wearing an ex's ring. i mean, it may be a shit test, but it's one i would walk away from, as a piece of ass isn't worth that sort of mind games.

---strawman out

I personally don't buy into the shit test-DHV-negging school of thought, and I'm not sure it aids the pick up, nor a relationship. So I agree that calling it a shit test is pointless. As for relationships, however, they are, much moreso than pick up, about inner game. If you have no inner game/self esteem, you cannot trust, you get upset about trivial shit, and you will not be happy. You can fake it in pick up by manipulating the signals you send, but you can't do that in a relationship. So, when I advise the brother to heighten his self esteem, that's the only way he can have a lasting, productive relationship. Often enough, there is a harmless, mundane explanation for most of the shit that throws you off, and you make a big deal of it at your peril. Clearly, if she's not a decent human being or has a real disorder, that's different and you should walk. But yellow nails, an ex's ring, and other things should not be the motivating force.


p.s. It's not you who's the strawman. Your argument was the strawman.

I think that it's just too unrealistic to think that women only have feelings for the guy they're with. She has every right to wear what she wants, when she wants. And YOU have a right to feel whichever way you do about it. Closing your eyes, putting your hands over your ears and screaming LA-LA-LA-LA is not a healthy way to live. Why does she have that right and you dont? Would she sing the same tune if you broke out an object from a recent ex and walked around with it on you at all times?

If you and your partner cant compromise and come to a solution without worrying about hurting each others "feelings"...then why the fuck are you exclusive to a girl like this?

Now, on the other hand, while I dont agree with ignoring it and bottling it up, you should ask yourself how much does it matter to you? Who's fucking her? Who's getting the best of her time? As long as it's you, the ring probably doesn't have any "deeper meaning". You have a right to feel like you do, but if she's otherwise seriously committed in the relationship then dont let this eat you up inside. IF you cant get around it, do both yourselves a favor and walk aay, if she doesn't want to make the sacrifice, you shouldn't have to live with it for the sake of getting pussy. That' where alot of guys falter here. It's so much more than being accepted and getting laid by women, have your own standards and fuck anyone on this forum or anywhere else that tell you different. Dont try and be the perfect human, you'll end up on a forum like this posting life lessons to horny teenagers.

i appreciate your opinion and you being decent about it too.

i, like the original poster, am extra sensitive to this shit. simply because i am confused between where the line is between:

- not being phased
and
- being walked all over like you are oblivious

i'm lost on this, and it's vexing me.

You just gave the ring more power an meaning than that ex boyfriend ever could by drawing such dramatic attention to it.. Wasn't the right move, behavior like this is why women cheat on thief boyfriends.

"Man up?" come on bro, I think your the one that needs to man up. It's a fucking piece of metal! It only has meaning when you give it to it.

Let it go or let her go or I promise she won't stick around for too much longer. You don't let a women get under your skin ever. Once you do they lose respect for you. And unless your the rebound guy I don't see why you care about an ex.

If your doing what you have to do you have no reason to worry. Be a man

Apologize; let her know the ring makes you feel all AFC an you over reacted..