Okay first for background read
dissection-did-i-fuck-up-how-bad-can-i- ... 83950.html and the followup
how-to-tell-if-she-likes-you-more-than- ... 84706.html.
Last night, after receiving the personal invitation, I go to this girls show. I spent a couple of hours getting mentally ready, thinking about what my strategy was gonna be. I was solid. My plan was, I figured she would play her set and then we (me, her, her band and friends) would all go out afterwards to hang out at which point it would be on.
So she plays her set and gets off stage. There weren't many people there. Mostly family members and a couple friends who she would later introduce me to. As they are packing up she comes up to me and says hi and I proceed to CLAW her and tell her the show was awesome, etc. She did turn into my CLAW. After a few seconds though, she mentions she needs to go finish packing, so I oblige. As they finish that they start saying hi to a bunch of people and family so I back off because it didn't seem my place to be there, I see some guy come up to her and lean in real close. No kiss but he puts his hand on her and I was like WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? It's either her brother or a guy trying to get with her. Only someone that "close" would get in so close.
Instantly, I see a HB9 sitting in the place near the bar looking like she is depressed. I headed in her direction and started up a conversation. She's Egyptian and we start talking about the situation there. More on that later. I think she saw me talking to this HB9. I figure if she is messing with some guy, I better do something to make her jealous. "GOOD" I thought to myself, its working. Anyway, they finish packing up, and she and her band get their coats on. I walk away from HB9 and tell her I think my friends are leaving I need to go figure out what the plans are. I walk up to her again, from behind this time. Guy is on her left, I am to the right. I ask her, are they all going out? She tells me, no they all have work tomorrow (she just got a 9-5 job this week, I saw on her twitter) so they are going to get sandwiches quick and going back home. I say ok, walk away, this guys is too close for comfort still. I did notice the whole time though, she never kissed him, not much PDA and when he puts his hand on her, he still seems like he is nervous or anxious, it didn't seem natural.
It ends like this. I grab my coat and put it on making it like I'm leaving. I had a book which I brought to give her. We spoke about it last time we met up and she watched the video and she told me over text it made her cry and I told her over text you should really read the book and she agreed, so I figured this book is an "in" to her mind and definitely something that will help start conversation. Seeing as that wouldn't happen, I walk back up to her again as she is still standing to the right of the guy. I CLAW her with my left hand, she leans in, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON THE GUYS FACE LIKE WTF WHAT IS GOING ON!?! I give her the book and she was like OMG, I can't believe you brought it thank you so much. I'll read it and give it back to you. (IS THIS AN IOD??) I tell her, whatever, its all good. I then ask her who is the guy? Is he your manager who I've never met? She tells me no, this is my BOYFRIEND, which I figured was coming. Anyway, it doesn't phase me, I still have my CLAW on her shoulder as I am introduced to him and shake his hand and ask him a question about himself. He's actually a pretty nice guy and decent--someone I would keep as a friend.
I wanted to keep the door open and I tell her listen, dont take this the wrong way, there is something going on soon you might like, what is your schedule like in the next couple of weeks. She tells me "I'll be around". I then tell her cool, "expect a call, oh wait, youre the texter, expect a text." She says oh, no you can definitely call me. Hug. I turn around on my way out.
On the way out HB9 sees me leaving and says hey are you leaving? I say yeah, I have friends in the area I'm going to meet up with (which was true and I was intentionally not inviting her). She says oh cool, it was nice talking to you, can you give me your number. I tell her No, but we can exchange numbers. We do. I walk out.
Legendary.
Is it odd that I left there and wasn't depressed at all? I was actually pretty happy when I walked out. You would think getting hit with a bomb like that would drag someone down, but I really wasn't down at all. I was like, okay, just another wall to climb or something and I get this HB9's digits too. I did leave with so many questions though.
How could she have been like that with me that first night at the concert? We were touching each other alot, not anything necessarily sexual but still something that if I was a girl with a boyfriend, I would tell someone who touched me like that. What was up with all these IOIs and texts she kept sending me, initiating conversations? Why such an invite to her show? It's like mixed signals. Anyway, I didn't wanna do anything last night about the boyfriend because the time just wasn't right. I felt like playing it cool would be a better reaction and also, I don't have any significant experience in that situation to have a quick line to shoot out. Plus the guy seemed nice and I don't necessarily believe in being a dick and stealing a girl from a guy just because I want her, its just selfish and I'd like to believe I have more character than that.
Guys, help me figure this out. What's up with the mixed signals? What's the best response? Have you ever been in a situation like this? How do I proceed? Should I really not try to steal her away?
The one mistake I did realize is that I didn't escalate enough that first night we were together. If I had, I'm sure something would have happened and things would be different and alot more complicated.
Love you bros,
R
CHAT
