So I met a girl, a couple of months back at a party and we agreed to go to a show together. The show was last night and it went well, we stayed up really late just chatting stuff afterwards. I suffer from shyness so there was no kiss close but there was a lot of attraction (IMO)

Anyways I messeged her saying:

"Had a great time last night, the show was awesome and it was great to get to know you better, we should get some more tickets sometime"

She's replied with :

hey yeah it was really fun and a really good night, worth being tired for the next day. Will have to see if there are any other good ones soon."

I've looked and there really isn't anything on soon . How should i continue this and maybe get a second shot, also keep conversation flowing etc.

She lives in another city about 1h away so it's not like i can just say fancy going for a coffee etc

the idea is not to be stuck on just seeing shows together, she will only see one side of you. a girl gets an idea about a guy when they go to many different places and share the experiences together. As we say in britain "location, location, location", its a problem that can be over come. probably start off by meeting her half way somewhere, or if you work in the city as well, you both can get a drink after work. location in the sense of where u 2 live could be an issue but location in the sense of going on a date doesnt matter as long as you 2 have fun and there's connection.

Here's parts of my previous posts about attraction and rapport which may be of interest to you:

one thing you should know is when to tease (push pull technique, negging etc). they should only be used if ur target is a 7.5 or above (or the girls who think they are 7.5 or above whereas in actual fact they are not). if you were to tease a girl below that rating, you would end of hurting and insulting them. in exclaimer for using negging and teasing is that one should positively validate their target before they negatively validate them. the reason to do it in this way is because one must hook their target in order to get their attention. so after the positive validation (for a set who is +7.5) you negatively validate them (tease, push) in order to put yourself at a higher level than them because at the beginning they are higher than you. the main reason why it is good to use negging is to challenge the ego of a girl of high calibre which is something that a typical afc does not do. and by doing this, it shows that u r a man that has high standards and does not go for just any girl and this will make the girl more interested and it will compel her to work harder to gain your approval because you have showed disinterest in her, told her that she does not fit your standards (negative validation). girls always want the guys that is surrounded by women and guys which are difficult to get, its a challenge for women to go after those guys.

building rapport is a very interesting process. in order to build a great emotional connection one must choose to talk about things which have deep emotional content. it does not matter what the girl does or likes, you can connect with her even if you have dissimilar interests. as you know all occupations and hobbies are completely different in their complexity, principles and structure, but there is one thing which all of them have in common/share "EMOTIONS". one must be empathetic and show a girl that u understand why she chose to do that job or hobbie by expressing the emotions that one feels when doing that activity, it shows that you're really trying to get to know her, and she will think "wow this is a great guy to talk to, he's making an effort to understand me, but wait, i dont know anything about him" and this will compel her to ask you questions and u can freely express yourself how ever much u want as long as u express urself passionately and positively. all the men dont do this at all and do not understand how much empathy is a powerful force and openly allow themselves to be perceived to see a girl superficially. you can use the concept of 'rapport' to ur advantage as well.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude

Hi thanks for your reply

You're right.

I'm based in UK so know that saying . The two cities are Manchester and Liverpool so you can relate to the distance. I do have friends in Liverpool and periodically visit and go clubbing with, though I think if i decide to go there this weekend and say hey you should come out it's maybe a bit obvious and desperate? Then weekend after that is weekend of Valentines day so i dunno...

On the subject of negging. I think she's a 7.5 + but I guess that's all personal opinion. I get the impression from her that she probs thinks she's around a 6 or so. Do you think it will still work based on this?

I think with your post on attraction, that was definitely going on during the long chat we had, we got onto some deep issues etc. I'll just have to try and ask questions in the messaging that will bring out answers etc. Last thing i want is the convo to die.

yeh i understand the geography of your situation, im based in london. it would be very difficult to get a coffee with her.

Dont think that she will perceive you as desperate because your main purpose to go there is to see your friends, not her. it will be cool to invite her out, perhaps u can ask her to bring some of her girl friends with her, therefore she will get confused and it will seem like you're not desperate to see her alone, even though you are but do not let her know that. also your mates can help you out and be your 'wingmen', keep the other girls occupied so that you can do your work on your girl.

one person's opinion on ratings can vary, so ask your friends on their opinion on what they think your girl is. but in your situation, you dont need to do any negging, based on the reply message u got from her and the rapport u have already built with her. you can still tease her to keep the attraction but tease her on things which she can emotionally detatch herself from, do not tease anything that she has a passion for.

in order for you to build greater rapport with her and get to the point of a kiss close, get used to asking more open-ended questions e.g. "what have you been up to?" or "What did u get up to today?", my one: "What monkey business did u get up to today?". dont use questions like "wats up hun?", thats a closed-ended question which the girl would simply answer and she wont give u much material to work on in order to reach the hook point.

and connect on her answers in a positive way. dont be afraid to tease her as well. dont be afraid to create impact. when telling a girl about a situation that happened to u on that day or in the week, give more details about it, women love details. it is also good to read the local news paper, women are usually very aware what happens in the world, u should as well. u can get her point of view on something in the news (nothing to do with which celebrity had sex with who) e.g. political, environmental, sociological etc and then she would ask you what u think and you can manipulate the conversation which can lead anywhere u want.

another way u can have an "endless conversation" is the principle of "Question, statement, Question, statement, Q, S, Q, S etc". so u ask an open question, receive the answer, and then make a statement about the last thing she said in order to ask a deeper question. this process can go round in a circle, it can go on for ages.

but that is all the talking part, there is also the physical part "kino escalation" which you can learn about in other sources.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude

Thanks dude,

Sound advice but also a lot of it is just common sense really, that's what i've come to conclude about all this stuff, it's just not over thinking it and just applying common social principles.

In the end i went for a reply which negged her a little bit based on the fact she has very few lectures and still doesn't make it to uni, then I asked her what she's up to for the rest of the week and weekend, hopefully leading into a "Hmm not got any plans"... "oh right well i might be up this weekend if you want some" situation.

Cheers again, more i read up the better the ideas i get. It's hard doing it all over a messeging client, if I had her Face to Face it would be so much easier.

yeh alot of guys usually are dependent on "scripted material" and but it all about being smooth natural and understanding basic principles, you dont need to think as much. Liked the neg you used. but alot of guys make the mistake of "asking" a girl out and think one has to get permission from a girl. One has to make it like a business meeting, sound more commanding, and it wont be "asking" for a date, it will be "offering".

Read my notes bellow about number closing effectively and abit on text game. loads of guys state that they are much better face-to-face or on the internet, but it doesnt matter which way you do it, what is most important which i tell my clients is "IMPACT".

the way to ask a girl out is by 'offering' not asking permission, never ask "Do you want to go out tonight?" or "will you go out with me?" or "so what time are you free tomorrow?". They are all questions which AFCs do. they make a guy sound needy, desperate, dependent on doing something with her.

so before offering a date, let her know how busy and sociable you are. girls want guys who are difficult to get. usually in rapport with girls, to make sure she does not flake on u after the first meeting, there's a pua principle called 'seeding'. this is when u in plant an invitation in the conversation with her but u havent actually invited her. for example, you could say that "im thinking of going to this really cool bar sometime next week which i heard about". now usually when a guy mentions to a girl about going to a bar, club or party that u know, the girl will always expects the guy to automatically invite her. but what you would do is just to mention the party or the bar and continue on the conversation. this will catch the girl off guard and the girl will be thinking "hey, this guy is pretty cool (depending on the attraction and rapport), but he has just mentioned this party but why is he not asking me out?". she will think this and will be more compelled and desperate for you to ask her and she realises that she needs to work in order to get the invitation. women want to go to things that are hard to get into, exclusive and even more if they are told they cant go. people always want to go to things when they have been told they cant go. sounds so forbiden and interesting.

dont be in the position to be waiting for a girl to call you, women are lazy or busy but definitely unreliable. you make the contact. but when u contact, dont sound like you are too eager to see her, bad sign to show that ur desperate. in between texting a girl, act like u dont care if she ever replies back. i know it sounds crazy, but it does not feel good waiting, checking ur phone every so often seeing if the girl replies. have the frame of mind that u dont care about a reply, then u will feel less anxious, and more focused on ur game.

Hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude

Got my reply from her, sort of went as expected:

Heya, i'm going to a stand up night then some bars tonight but no other plans other then that, probably just have a quiet weekend and attempt to not spend too much after the last one! How about you, any plans?

So could now hit her with something like:

a light push pull on the comedy bit like "watch out during the show, they tend to pick on the dopey ones "

Then say

"tonight i'm going to go to the gym and meeting up with my band to discuss some new songs (to build value) ... then I've got a lot of offers for this weekend, friend X wants to go out on friday and try and meet some girls (complete lie) then I've been invited to a party saturday night (true), but after friday night i might want to take it a bit slow.

Or say something direct like throw the value stuff in but then also say ... and on saturday i'm taking you to dinner.

I like the idea of seeding, but in a situation where there is distance, I can't do the whole me and a couple of friends are going to club x I reckon you'd love it there. Her: hmmm why hasnt he asked me etc

I wish i didn't like this girl so much! would mean if i mucked up it wouldnt bother me and i'd move on

I should add, I know the brother of this girl really well, he's a good mate and knows i like his sis and is cool with it and actually really wants me to go for it. I might get him to drop into convo with her that im into her, jst to guage reaction if she's up for anything.

i like your tease, but it some how feels incomplete. perhaps you can add at the end of it "...so make sure you stay awake and not dose off lol".

The rest of the message you wrote was very good. making yourself look like a busy, sociable person who is in high demand. dont think it is advisable to mention about taking it slow at the end and it would be too intense to be direct in that context with her. you could offer her to meet up you by saying "How about you and i hang out for abit, take a walk somewhere, check out the night life". make it sound casual, non-pressurized.

I understand that it is hard doing game at the point where you start to really have an emotional connection with a girl. i hear about frequently with my clients. it's difficult to focus when one's mind is clouded my emotions. but you have to control your emotional frame of mind. perhaps it would be easier to not focus on one girl and have a few on your plate so that you're not spending to much time thinking about one, you can take a break thinking about one and move on to another. in other words "compartmentalize your love life with many partners". one would not muck up so easily if they dont put too much effort in to gaming a girl.

even though it would be useful for ur mate to get info, one must be very careful when getting involed with a mate's sister, occasionally things can turn ugly, you dont want to be like Al pacino's dead friend on Scarface lol. but only you can know if she's up for anything, by gauging her reactions and responses to physical touch. but you have to do kino in order to find out.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude

Update : Potentially got a Day 2 tomorrow... just need to persuade my Leeds mate to come a long so I've got a crash pad

cool man. how did you manage to get it? how was the rapport with her? im sure your mate wouldnt mind coming as long as long as he gets some action in the end lol.