Hey guys,
I'm into PUA stuff for few months now and the whole purpose of it was to do everything and improve my skills to get my ex back. So I'm going out, meeting woman in order to built necessary skills and attraction. I changed my WHOLE life, started going to gym, took some dancing classes (since my ex is some sort of semi-pro dancer too).
We split around 1,5 year ago but we weren't together long though even after we kinda were close. Since I strayed on PUA path I just cut our contact in any matter. Saw her only once before New Year's Eve and I did play it really well and cool but I felt like I'm not ready for it yet...
The thing is, every once in a while she just pops into my head and this makes me sad, dull and throws me off balance. At few points I considered finding some hypnotist that could "cure" me out of it.
Now, don't get my too wrong either, I did meet/slept with some women hoping that I'll get better but nothing's changing.
So now I decided to hear what the REAL pros have to say about something. Some word of advice? And maybe some inner game books I should read? It's been long time and I can't get her out of my head and I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE TYPICAL ONE-ITIS CASE but I just wish to have another go at her now that I know how things should be done. Then if I fail or we won't work out then I think I'll be sure that's it's a totally dead case.
For starters I'll tell You guys that I'm attracting her, she wants me though she has this lame image of myself from just of the end of our relationship (typical AFC, god dammit!) and she just simply doesn't believe in 'second chances'. She believes that if things didn't work out once they never will...

Help will be much appreciated since it's ruining my inner game as well.

Regards,
Mav-

Hey man, welcome to the PUA world, and good post. Check the bits I bolded out.

You changed, cut contact with an ex (oneitis) and you realised it's a oneitis because every now and then she throws you off balance and gets you thinking, randomly etc.

We all wish, that with someone, we could have done things differently, but get into your mind, what's done is done, I know it's blunt, been there myself as have most people, look to the future and learn from things that didn't work the way you wanted them too.

Your attracting her, because she can sense change, but the relationship end, and she has that image of you being the AFC, needy etc, and thinking it's you. The best way to get past this, is to date other girls, have your fun, she will sense this and who knows, but my opinion, look to the future.

Chel

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: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

She was still attracted to me BEFORE I started to change. The time I met her before Christmas was when I already changed things, that's how I noticed IOIs and learned to pay attention to her behavior overall (we were talking on a street and somehow we just couldn't 'leave', she didn't want to just go).
My plan is to meet up with her on some party among friends and switch some pre-selection switch also focusing on being center of attention IGNORING her at the same time. But it takes time, I need her to see me again changed while her old image of myself will get blur in her mind.

And really, I know that some of You guys would advise me to just sleep with other girls and I'll get over it so I tried but... nothing is changing. Can't feel that "thing" to any of girls I meet. The case starts to seem hopeless since it's been really long time since we broke up and yet I can't get over this feeling to the level I want to have it over.
This motivates my PUA game to improve (to try and get her back one day) but at the same time it just eats me up inside.
So I thought that maybe if someone could recommend me some good book that could change my way of thinking or perhaps somehow help up and ease up things in my head? I've no idea what else I could do.

Cheers mate and thanks for Your reply
Mav-

were any of the new girls that you boffed hotter than your ex? From my experience I've seen that a serious assault on your Oneitis will only occur if the women you fuck are hotter than your ex. Otherwise you only remind yourself of what you're missing.

You need to actually invest into another girl for you to get over your ex. Sluts won't cure your Oneitis.
whenever guys take drastic steps after a break-up like burning their ex's photo, they only reinforce the importance of their ex on their own minds.

1. This is your Oneitis speaking
2. If you don't allow yourself to get past this, you won't have made much progress out of your AFC habits. Most likely, you will regress back into old patterns after a couple of weeks in a relationship with her.
3. Are you sure she's actually attracted to you and not just trying to get self-affirmation?

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Hakuna speaks sense, listen to him!

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Hey Mav-

So before I get into the whole thing about how banging other chicks will get you over it I just wanna let you know that I have been where you are before man. Some guys can cure their oneitis with just a little bit of the good stuff from a hotter girl, other guys it takes a little bit more. For me the sleeping with hot girls never really did anything, because in all honesty, me ex is still to this day one of the hottest girls I have ever met. I'm actually not sure how my AFC ass managed to land her back then. Anyways, I have been at this PUA thing for about 2 years now. The first half of it was all about getting good enough to get my ex back. The truth is, about a year ago I saw my ex and I pulled my best lines and routines on her. You know what ended up happening? She saw right through all of it. She told me that she knew that I had changed everything about myself just to try and win her back and that she didn't like the new "fake" me at all. Of course I tried to play it off and continue what I was doing, but it was to no avail. I had failed. After that I realized that I was never going to get her back. No matter what I did she would still see me as the AFC who screwed things up. That is when my whole mission with game changed. I decided that instead of sleeping with random hot girls or trying to get my ex back that I was in this to find the right girl for me by trail and error with many women. You gotta get out there and find yourself a new girl to have feelings about. This time you know the right things to do to not fuck everything up. Get out there and get yourself someone who fits with you. PUA will give you all the tools to get any girl you want, but you still have to decide which girl that is.


Oh, and Hakuna. I am stealing the word boffed to add to my vocabulary. It is an interesting and awesome word.

@Hakuna
Well, the girls I was meeting were rarely hotter. Probably for the same reason Adam mentioned, I can't seem to find any hotter girl than she's so far. I actually blocked her online portfolio and to enter this website I'd have to remove some lines in system file and reboot computer, before I'd do that I get back in control of myself . Also pictures I got on computer, I just try to avoid looking at them. Basically 'cause I don't feel well when I see her pictures . Well, LOGICALLY thinking I have doubts whether it wouldn't end bad or would I keep myself in control but EMOTIONALLY I just really wish to have this darn one more chance at her .
I'm getting rid of my AFC habits quite successfully but maybe that's perhaps I don't have ANY strong feelings for the girls I meet. It's easier to put my emotions aside then.
And yes, SHE IS attracted. How do I know? Well 'cause after we split and some time after when she'd come over for some tea (this happened only very few times) and after she left she would text me saying that she wanted me badly but she thought that just wouldn't be a good thing (I was in a pretty bad shape then 'cause of her) or another time she would text me that it was weird over at my place and do you know why? 'Cause I decided a total cold approach there. I've made ABSOLUTELY no physical contact. Didn't even got close to her. Or another time when I was dressing up and talked to her while I was in my underwear she'd just ask me to hid in my room 'cause she'd be tempted (this was actually "said" by the look on her face, like a damn vampire who tries REALLY BAD not to bite someone ). And the time I met her in a city she'd give me some IOIs like suddenly playing with her hair but not only ONCE, it was repeated couple of times while we talked, and the way she couldn't get her eyes of me or how she got curious when I mentioned "having fun with girls at work" to which I only replied with a smile and changed subject . Same day when I sent her short text regarding my shoe shopping that day she'd text me back in like 10 mins, then when I didn't text back even, she would send me another one in 15 mins. I didn't reply her to this day.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure she's into me but she has this STRONG belief to never step into the same river twice, if You know what I mean.

@Adam
The thing is when I picked her up I did perfect attraction switch on her without even consciously knowing about it ('cause I didn't know about PUA community then). That's what hooked her up and I know I've changed over a time being with her and that's what I guess turned her off.
I always thought that to get rid off one love You need to find another one but so far my "search" just ends in vein.

Thanks guys for Your replies. I really appreciate them all!
Mav-

On my way back home from work I was listening to records of teleconference that Style did some time ago. The topic was: Troubleshooting. One of the guys had a question about winning his ex over (though he seemed more like wanting to do it to satisfy his ego and that's really my case). Style suggested just "be willing to lose her" attitude, ie. neg her, tease her, in general just convey that you're having a fun life. I totally agree but I also would like to hear some tips from You guys about how to act (maybe You've got something to add) when such situation occurs.
Also, any ideas how I could pull off social gathering with her being around without making it look like I'd like her to be there? I don't go out with my mates lately (busy with work or they're busy with college at the moment and me and my ex don't have many common friends) so any suggestions would be nice to hear.
I'm not planning to put it in life any time soon yet basically 'cause I think I need to get my game up to speed yet (that is, 'till I'll get some consistent results).

Any ideas/advices?

To be honest Mav, I'd sway from the situation, because your not in a mutual social circle, and in order to neg her, you'd have to get in touch with her at the moment and it'll look obvious that your playing games.

Wait for her to contact her, for now improve your game, when she does contact one day, then you start negging, teasing, make her think "shit, he's changed" or "He's really confident now, telling me what's what"

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

The thing is, we didn't contact in other at all for like 2 months or so until we saw each other on the street. We talked a bit, IOIs and so on and same day I sent her short text, she send me two texts back but I didn't reply at all, just ignored her. Now I kinda feel that should be something I should write or say (it's been over 1 month ago now). We had mutual social circle but our common friends mostly went away to colleges. She was part of a dancing club and her dancing partner introduced us. I had other friends already in that group. They got me so excited about dancing that I signed up recently for such classes as well. Maybe I could use this somehow?