Recently, someone showed me this article of women that are "professional victims."

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01 ... al-victim/

Anyone familiar with this, or know a bit more about it? I just got out of a relationship with a girl I could swear was like this, and I'm damned glad I did now.

yes. my ex was histrionic. these girls thrive on drama. there is no stability, and everything is always your fault. sadly, they're a lot of fun, and often very attractive. best advice is run far away.

I wasn't aware it actually had a name!

Edit: After reading, this doesn't seem to be the one I'm familiar with.

Yup... Unfortunately know these types of chicks well. My ex of 3 years was just like that. It was like the writer had met her and taken notes secretly over our entire relationship.

Not to worry though, you just have to run for the hills, pray she doesn't tell too many people that you beat her, and never gets hold of you again. You will have to lick your wounds for some time after your encounter with this sort of woman, but eventually you get over the trauma and are wiser for it.

just dumped my gf of a year because she is like this.

horribly, in recounting to her all the countless ways she had hurt me,

she turned it around and said "that i was hurting her by explaining how she had hurt me"

wtf? is that twisted or what?

One of the main red flags for identifying one of these women is they will mention their last relationship in a negative light as if it was all the other persons fault taking no accountability for her part in its failure.
Run for your life before the beast in her comes back, I dated a girl once for a few dates thought she was o.k untill she told me how she smashed her exes car with a hammer and how she was the innocent victim ,that was the last time we dated..

Funny you mention that, because that's exactly what I heard after a few months in. She broke down and said that it only ever "gets worse and worse" and hoped that "I" would be different from other boyfriends.

Well, it wasn't the other boyfriends, apparently.

Does this complex have a name or something?
I heard this one, too. Anything and everything is taken as criticism or an attempt to hurt them. There has to be some literature on this...

Yes, learnandgrow,

it's called Histrionic Complex (literally, means drama queen)

there are several different types

Didn't think my first post would be on this subject and resonating with others, so here goes!

I just got out of a relationship where my ex displayed these characteristics... Especially playing the victim. I'd bring issues to the table so we could confront them and I'd use the "I feel..." statements; I actually was reading a book on relationship conflict called Feeling Good Together by David Burns shortly before we broke up and got the idea of early confrontation from there...anyway, she'd always make herself the victim by constantly stating "Well how do you think I feel?" and I could not help but feel guilty.

I feel like I turned into a wuss as the relationship developed; being lovey dovey and really just accepting unacceptable behavior. I always felt like I was walking on egg-shells trying not to set her off. And there were simply so many things that would just trigger her in the wrong way.

Anyway, how would one draw the line between a person being a Histrionic person or them just treating you like shit because you're a wuss?

How do you know if all of what she does isn't just some huge ass shit-test to see if you're worth it? Obviously she knows she can get what she wants from anyone through the manipulation, so what happens if you resist it? I know there were plenty of times where I barked back or backed off, and she just came flying back to me.

I was very aware of this type of behavior in women. This post just confirms it. Thanks.

I've been discussing this with my (non-PUA) friend and he was talking about his ex-gf and I was talking about a girl I picked up recenltly and they both had this "play the victim" behavior.

This girl would not assume a LTR even though she said she loved me, she would have extreme jealousy of every girl that said Hi to me, and she would go to bars and flirt with other guys.
Then when I got pissed off and ignored her she would try to seek me attention back and then when she finally got it she would play the victim.
I stopped seeing her because I got so fed up with the BS. Now she keeps trying to contact me and says I never talk anymore to her, and keeps trying to push the victim image, but I don't eat it.

The gf of my friend had the same "play the victim" problem and she even cheated on him and still tried to come off ass innocent.

Seriously, these girls are fucked up. Avoid them like the plague.

_________________


"Their compliance is,
'Does she grab your hand?' F*ck you! I want to grab her mind. If I can
grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries

Hey Че&am, it's simple... Were you being a wuss? Your actions and behaviour would tell you if you were just being walked over cause you were an afc.

If it was a shit test, you'd ignore it and that would be the end of it. It's a part of who the chick is, not just an isolated comment or action. If you resist, more than likely it will get worse or she'll move on to someone that will play up to all her shit. The thing is you were being manipulated even when she came flying back to you. She was getting what she wanted from you.

I don't want dude's to start thinking that every time a girl acts a little crazy that they have Histrionic Complex. It's usually accompanied by things like Bi-Polar Disorder. Legitimate mental issues. I know my ex was Bi-polar cause I tried to make sure she took her meds so we didn't have episodes like we did. All you can do is learn from it and move on to healthier situations. Hope it helps!

(Bi-polar is not as hot as just Bi.)

My recent-EX claimed she was bipolar. She was not. I know bipolar. My brother is bipolar and I grew up with it for my entire life. I watched someone suffer the genuine pain of debilitating manias and destructive depressions. This girl wasn't bipolar. She was an attention whore.

Here is how you know a Histrionic Personality. They will claim to be wronged, hurt, or damaged by what is going on in their lives all the time. BUT on closer examination you will find that they are actually BENEFITING from their behaviors.

Don't ever listen to the words, watch the deeds.

And no, to answer the question asked above, not every difficult, or snooty, or shittest-tastic girl has Histrionic Personality.

It's like the difference between a girl doing shit tests, and one who genuinely has a disconnect from reality and can not perceive anything outside of the realm of being a victim.

If you wonder if you are dealing with a Histrionic, TEST HER.

Call her out on something where she is clearly in the wrong, something very minor, something that you clearly aren't even upset about, just that she was wrong. If she has a total inability to admit being wrong OR if she says "I was wrong BUT..... (here is why it's not my fault" or "I am sorry BUT ...... (here is why I did it).

You may be dealing with a genuine nutjob attention-whore with a victim complex.

What I find helpful with these kind of women is to pose the question "I want you to think about how you acted and why you acted like that" rather than tell them "I think you acted like a spoiled bitch/bratt"

By posing the question they will take on board that you think how they acted was wrong/shot/whatever but also makes them to seriously consider their own actions.

By confronting them in an argumentative manner, they will just respond in an argumentative manner and nothing gets solved least of all their learning and growth, because thats what they are... children. They have had guys continuously feel sorry for them when in actual fact they need a fuckin wake up call.

Its patronising talking to them the way I have described but I think its essential, like I said, for their growth and development so to speak.