Quote:
asked when she was free
There's your problem.
You've recognised it yourself.
For the first few weeks / months, you have to act with those 8/9/10s like you would with a 6/7. Showing you're too available and too eager to please shows you don't have as much going on in your life, and have emotionally invested more than them. You become less of a challenge, less mysterious, and less attractive.
When you get that text saying she wants to meet, you HAVE to hold back from replying for at least a few hours.
When you do make a date, you have to TELL her where and when, and how you want her to dress.
My 2p is also that pushing for the k-close at the end of the night will actually hurt your chances. It's better to build sexual tension, but wait to close until you're actually back at your place.
Finally, it may be that you're using all these (gay) routines during the initial pickup, but then you reveal your "real" personality as you develop into a relationship, and the girl starts noticing all these incongruencies and thinks "THIS isn't what I signed up for at all!"
Better to be more natural, bring out the best aspects of YOURSELF, be honest and direct, and then there won't be such a weird shift from your "game" persona to your "real" persona.