Last saturday night I was at my friend's concert. One of the openers was a really cute girl. I went up to her at her merch table and started talking to her. We went to the same university!! We ended up talking for over an hour, moved around a few times, introduced her to some people and she even listened to some music by one of my friends' band on my ipod.

Forward to Tuesday. Now I went to Boston to see the opening night of tour of the friends she listened to on my ipod. They are on the billboard top 20 now. I called her up from boston and invited her to the show in new york on thursday. She was first a little wishy washy, but she agreed to go after an hour via text--"I'm there for Thurs."

Now I take some of her motivation is professional since I am in the music industry and have good connections which I mentioned to her in passing. Actually one of my friends does the music placements on the shows for VH1 and MTV and he heard her song and liked it and told me he'd talk to her about doing something with it if she improved the production quality. Regardless though, we met up like 3 hours before the show, had sandwiches together in the freezing cold in the park and then hit up a coffee shop and a bar before the show.

At the show, I took her backstage (big points for me) to meet them and get a CD signed. I also told them to dedicate a song to her which they did, and she didn't realize until I told her "You" and she was like "ME??" and I said yeah. She responded you don't barely know me and I told her well if you don't want it then fuck it, I'll take it back and give it to someone else. She really loves their music, as pretty much most of the US will soon too, and she got into the show and we got to get in some good kino, touching, dancing, etc. I could tell throughout the night, no matter what her motivation, she somewhat liked me and was potential here.

At the end, I offered her to come hang out with us. She declined and said she needs to take a train to get home and it'll be too late, etc. I offered to drive her home (was this dumb?) and she didn't want to inconvenience me, so I told her well at least let me drop you off at the train station. She wanted to take a cab, but ended up letting me drop her of. On the way to the station, I told her, "you know, you're really lucky, after pulling some shit like that, a guy could have his way with a girl, you're lucky I'm gay." She was in shock and said, OMG REALLY? and I said no, and she had a huge sigh of relief.

Finally, I drop her off and tell her text me when you get home. She gets home like an hour and a half later. I'm drunk as hell hanging out with my boys when she texts me "Home." One word. I replied "Awesome. Sweet Dreams. How was it? Hope you had fun..." I meant to ask how was the train ride I hope it was fun, but as my boy pointed out to me, when I was about to call her again and ask her out for this week, he looked at my texts and said it sounds like I was asking did you have fun tonight. Shit.

Is this a fuck up? If so, how bad? How can I recover? Whether it is or it isn't how can I gauge her interest at this point without putting pressure?

Help dudes.

R

I think it sounds like you DLV with too much interest but it sounds like your DHV was way bigger. I would just call her and say "we are going out on friday. I'll pick you up at nine. Where something black." It will pretty much cancel out the needy seeming behavior and make you the man again.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

@Jits138 What was the too much interest? The text coming out the wrong way at the end? or something else?

Dont sweat over small details dude, but yea you SHOWED too much interest, you were putting her on the pedestal.
You should act aloof when hanging out with her, you've just met her after all, don't shower her with affections.
Dedicate a song for her was a wrong move, texting her right after the date is another.
It's cool that you disqualify yourself, but you used it in wrong time, typically disqualification is used at the introduction to lower the bitchshield. However this was full of AFC-ness.
"after pulling some shit like that, a guy could have his way with a girl" = "i'm was trying to get inside your pant by buying your affection"
Then after that, you backed down with "you're lucky I'm gay", that's not an alpha action, you should have just stick to your statement.
Overall, you gave her too much power.

@toehackne think its possible to recover? whats the best move, just ignore her for a while?

oh also, about the disqualification, i did it when i did because i realize there was a little too much interest and figured it would be a good way to throw her off. bad idea? really?

My rule of thumb is to never give a girl more interest than she gives me. If she writes "home" I write "good". I also agree with your boy that she probably thought you were asking if she had fun with you. I think for sure that you can fix this though.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

How many IOIs did she give you?

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Wow, so i ignored her for a whole week and she texts me out of the blue asking me for my email telling me she wants me to hear some music by her friend. We texted back and forth, she told me, i love your friends' band, i watched this video you told me, etc. I was replying back casually, always showing less interest than she was. The conversation sort of died because I was out with friends and couldnt keep texting with being a dick to them, so it ended with her saying haha, yeah.

Obviously this is a great sign that my ignore strategy worked and that things are cool and she wants to talk more. What's the good move? Just tell her lets go out for drinks? Want to play this careful and not fuck it up.

Hey first of all, i think everything u done was good, basicallyin terms of dropping her home, maybe you should have gone home with her the way she wasgoing home, generaly iveplayed that card too about dropping a girlhome, they dont rele like to be told how to get home,coz they like to think of themselves as independant. But i played the line, hey where u going, and if she said home, i wud say okay kool lemme walk you. Maybe you should have done that instead of sounding too caring and saying let me drive you. Secondly, your the one with the big contacts not her. So basically, it should be that she wants to come more than u wud want to take her, i like the waay you said "fuck it ill give it to someone else". Establishingyour authority, ur showing her, if she dont take the oppertunity, someone else will. They hate that, sometimes i think u come on a bit too needy for her, if your gona take her out. Be like. "me and my friendz goin out?.. wanna come be ready for 9".That way, ur not rele giving her a choice. but at the same time, ur telling her what to do, which is good! So basically make herfeel sheneeds u more than u need her. What do you think?

I agree with jits 138, i maen if she can have the audacity to say "home" after that kind of night, either i would not reply. Making her think, oh shit he didnt reply,probs with his friends busy has no time for me, showing her she is not a priority, or even worse comes to worse. i wud reply. "kl" thats it. No longess. you have to beat her at her own game.

You need to get your man card back from her still I think. I would def do drinks with her but do it how Jits suggested. That way you display your dominance. Once you have this re-established maintain it, and you will feel much better about this chick