What defines "Help"? I finished a 13 week course on "the philosophy of language" a week ago and such questions are still haunting me. :O

I think in some ways you have to question, what are the buyers expectations of "help" and what is the promised "help"

Many products promise help with the promised outcome being "a life turned on it's head", many products deliver "help" with the outcome actually being "a life made different though we'd struggle to call it better or even average"

We do have gradients here when it comes to "help" and "better"; along with the associated subjective perceptions of these terms.

But this shouldn't be a reason to throw objectivity out the window, the strip mall dojo teaching karate may "improve self defence" by teaching people to drop a cool stance that hypotheticaly, theoreticaly could possibly, maybe scare off someone of very weak intentions.

But is this really "help" in the same sense as the karate school round the corner that shows its students how to actually sling a decent punch?

Ha, I spent some time reading through the additional posts and it made my brain hurt. I like your idea here on OP though. Learning PUA without keeping a journal is like going to the gym without a workout log and assessments. The fact is that you will get better faster with structure.

KNOWLEDGE (books,dvds,forums,etc.) STRUCTURE (LOG and DATA) MOTIVATION (You gotta want it) ACCOUNTABILITY (A good wing)

I call these four the Pillars of Accomplishment and I use them in my business all the time. Without anyone of them you are seriously diminishing your returns.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

You almost got it, the interesting thing is, having structure, increases motivation and accountibility to the self. Which in turn, increases motivation.

If so, you might want to clarify 'structure' a little more. You've probably heard the old cliche', "Knowledge does not equal motivation". A drug addict knows that he's wasting his life away. No amount of knowledge or 'structure' is enough to MOTIVATE the typical addict into action to quit. This is the missing piece of your advice that affirmations do in fact provide. My personal distaste for affirmations in this industry is not that they "don't work" but more that they're just totally fucked.

There are 3 identifiable levels of realization:

1. Cognitive - "That is one angry looking mother fucker!"
2. Emotional - "I am really fucking scared!"
3. Motivated Action - Actually running the fuck out of there.

The problem with typical pu affirmations is that they create mismatched realizations that force people to lie to themselves. What should be:

1. "Wow, that is a hot chick right there."
2. "I'm popping a huge fucking boner right now!"
3. - Approach the girl.

Becomes:

1. "There goes 1 of a billion girls in the World and I'm P Diddy."
2. "I don't give a fuck. If she shoots me down, there's 999,999,999 more to go mother fucker! I know my math. . . and I'm building a palace by the way."
3. - Approach a girl.

Sure, I like one over the other. Still . . . both are examples that take people into action. A journal + a structure plan are typically not compelling enough to push people into action.

There are Olympic Champs born out of strip mall Taekwondo studios. Whether they were coerced into it, self motivated, beaten up, electrocuted, blackmailed, chemically altered, or lied to, the common denominator amongst champions is ACTION. In fact, I would even say that some champs do not even have a decent cognitive realization of their situation. They've just done it all their lives and they just continue the process and practice.

I'm a big fan of strategy, plans, and journals but this alone is probably not enough; depending on the guy, crazy ass backward pu affirmations taught by high school drop outs might even work BETTER for him his particular situation.

Not sure where all the negativity came from but it sounds like you are agreeing for the most part. Affirmations are important.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

I wouldn't put it so far as to say: Structure = Motivation, but it certainly helps. I spoke to you a-while ago about procrastination and I've found my procrastination of various projects over the past 2 years has come from a lack of structure and planning.

Myabe a Drug addict given a plan that had been tailored to him, was incremented etc etc Would help that drug addict, maybe he needs more than just the information of "this stuff is killing me" and requires the knowledge of "doing this gets me out of here".

Then again, maybe not. I guess this is where people have to help themeselves. Some people for some reason can't get up and go, and that's the end of it for them.

True, great people have come from shitty places, but if you have the objective of winning your first K-1 bout, which gym would you rather be in? The one that sticks to proven and honest teaching methods, that has produced champ after champ, turning regular joes into Regular Pros. Or the "too deadly to spar" guys who wheeze after 5 minutes on a tread mill, clutching their beer belly?

There's a human element here, but that's not all there is to it.

Individual differences are powerful, but they are not un-affected by the enviroment. Luckily with so much choice in this "enlightened" age people can exert more control over there enviroment if they so choose.

It's my understanding that there is a chemical component to everything that we do. Sex is a great way to release endorphins. So is digging into a fat piece of steak or laughing out loud. Certain drugs release THOUSANDS of times the level of endorphins than can be produced by sex . . . no wonder junkies just lock themselves up and forget food, sex, and just about everything else. Sure, it's not as physically evident as a junkie weening off of heroin but there are physiological ramifications for all who are not able to reward their brains of certain chemicals. Some are affected more than others. I've known people who break out with hives in social situations; jitters, cold sweats, feinting spells . . . Heck, put an average guy up on a stage in front of a crowd and see how he reacts; What you see on stage is pretty much what's going on in his brain.
You probably skipped the exercise we chatted about and went directly to 'how can I overcome procrastination?'

Plenty of people do useful things every day without any structure at all. And if you were motivated to progress, wouldn't you have set up a calendar and have already pushed forward? Creating structure is a method. So are imaginary exercises. Affirmations are also, methods for action. Blaming the lack of a 'method' is not an uncommon defensive mechanism; everybody's said, "How was I supposed to know _____" a hundred times right? When do we say such things?

The solution and problem do not have to match 100%, but in order to truly solve issues, the cause of the problem should be addressed.

If the above is your 'answer', then I am inclined to think that you took a cognitive approach to the exercise meaning:

1. Cognitive - "If I write up a really good plan, follow through, and assess every day, I will probably succeed. This is what all successful people do."
2. Emotional - "I'm feeling giddy already because this is going to work!"
3. Physical - Let's go do it~!
1. Cognitive - No wonder I was procrastinating, I had no plans!

The 'watch yourself' exercise is a focus on the current action (or lack thereof)

1. PHYSICAL - Procrastination.
2. Emotional - (You're going to have to write up your own but an example might be "I feel guilty. I feel uncomfortable. I know I should do these things but I am not . . . I feel somewhat satisfied for doing nothing.)
3. Cognitive - (There was a time when I felt this same way before. I really wanted to finish _____ but _______ did ______ to me and ______, etc . . . )
4. Back to physical - Where are we now? Still behaving the same?
5. Emotional - (probably different now)
6. Cognitive - What should my understanding be now?

Something like that . . .
Don't you know any addicts? Addicts are the guys who offer me news from the latest medical journals. A lot of these guys know more about addiction than your average MD . . . Knowledge, no matter how well structured does not equal motivation.
Yup, and everybody's looking for this 'key'!
A motivated guy will move himself to the gym that suits him. A guy who seeks to fail will find a shitty gym.
For most, this is not a choice.

Aslong as you take ACTION everything will be alright?

^"Correct" action.

What is 'correct' action?

Pretty much it. I especially liked the Hich school dropouts part.

Strategy is good-but not enough. Heart(or balls) to go out is good but not enough either. You need to combine both. To me Inner game is confidence+sexual frame. How do we get confidence?
1)affirmations
or
2)go out and do something.
Well if you can't go out and approach then you use strategy(taking little steps and setting goals in order) Eventually- you go out and do staff=experience=confidence levels go up.

Now sexual frame-is more of a PU tool.
You can either go out and keep trying untill you figure out what it is, or you can purchase book for $29,99 (or DVD set which is more expensive) and learn what it is. Books to me are in STRATEGY category. Then you go out and try things you read in the book, kepp what's useful and throw away what's useless.(credits to Bruce Lee)

Key point is this: Combining strategy with action is vital. Either one by itself is pretty much ineffective.

IMHO.

That last part of that sentence probably should have read "of healthy levels of dopamine". There are plenty of other ways to suppress dopamine production than through cocaine (external chemical) withdrawal.
I'm pretty sure that we do this with other forms (non-externally introduced chemical) stimuli as well . . . it's just much more difficult to isolate and test with non-chemical forms of stimulus.

Well, I performed the excersises for about a week straight, there were certain moments where I couldn't so I just stood where-ever I was and waited and reflected on what was actually going on. And the most common issue when it came to what I was avoiding doing was not knowing what I really had to do. I'd have a big goal in mind, and I'd be obsessed with attaining it, but I hadn't even considered what I do. You may very be correct that I swap say a lack of motivation with a lack of planning in order to allow myself to still participate in a fantasy land. Where I am the kind of person who does X Y Z.

Could I ask here what your answer is here ^, or infact IS there an answer, thinking back on what you've said it may be very well that I just have to accept my nature in certain things until it changes or doesn't...

----

Regarding the topic we were origonaly discussing, do you not think the promotion of better gyms and the increased availability of these gyms will help?

Our life-span didn't go up becuase humanity all of a sudden became more motivated to live longer. There were many external factors that played into this with developments and availability in medicine, more reasonable working conditions and access to a better more varied diet.

Hobbit, you probably are right, to some extent in general.

But there are people out there who use sex as a means to satisfy their addiction. And without it they become withdrawn and restless when they don't get it. Now, it probably isn't as obvious as a withdrawn heroine addict, but it is there nonetheless. It is just probably towards the extreme ends of the spectrum.

Have you ever woke up everyday and thought, shit I need to game. I need to do this. I need to call up that girl... I have... and to me this was an addiction. It still is... I'll never stop until I get the girl.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

^This is not this v:


"Knowing" is a 'cognitive' exercise. "Reflecting" is simply watching . . . watching your actions and emotions . . . and in fact, even your 'cognitive' processes. Just take a step back and enjoy. You've probably heard of guys getting hit on the head or shoulder with sticks at mediation centers. They do this sometimes to 'wake' the individual from circulating within the same thought patterns. When somebody surprises you from behind a door, you're not thinking "Oh, that was funny or that was scary . . ." You just freeze, chemicals in your brain flow the way it's wired to flow . . . and only afterward justify your emotions/actions. Becoming that 'neutral observer' is the goal.
This is just reality isn't it? You either identify, correct, and move forward or you work with current obstacles.
Supply and demand. . . and you only need one gym.