I cant stand being with my girlfriend.
Im TOO into her, and I feel like I cant trust her.

For example, there is a particular male friend she has who seems like she has feelings for, and he makes it obvious he likes her. Biggest suck up EVER, as in, he bakes her cakes and writes her cards. She cries with happiness and says "Youre SO sweet!!!"

I simply cannot compete with that shit. An affair is imminent (if not already existent) and im being beaten by a fucking gimplord. Theyve been friends for awhile and see each other often.

Also, she constantly flirts with other guys on purpose to make me jealous. This whole situation i find myself in is making me feel sick and stressed out, and worst of all, insecure.
For instance, I feel like that other suck up has alot more in common with her than I do, and that he tries WAY more than i ever will with any girl. What the fuck am i supposed to do?
She also has a lot of guys after her, and tells me about it regularly to make me jealous.

I need out. Im normally the cheeriest happiest camper alive (in a heterosexual and non creepy out way), but since her ive had some of the worst days of my life ever, like on her birthday when male suitors of hers put HOURS into gifts for her and made mine look like a pile of shit comparably.

Its fucked, I know.
How do I get over her? This predicament is messed, I dont even think I can recover and seem superior when so many guys are trying so hard for her.

Thanks so much in advance fellas

HaHa, happens to too many men my friend.

I can't really comment on how you should act because I don't know what you are like as a person, thats important in deciding WHAT TO DO.

But my best advice is so simple, change your frame from inadequate and self pitty...to indispensable and desirable...also act like you dont give a fuck...a nothing bothers you kind of image. Coolness.

Imagine if she left you and went on to better things, better man, better job and so on and you just fell depper into self pitty. What would you look like to her then? Now reverse that.

You leave her and attain better things, how would she react? Jealous? Wanting you even more? Chasing you instead?

Think about it.

_________________
"I guess a little small talks in order here now."

"Do I look like a gentleman to you in this shirt and these pants?"

"I know you from some place."

I know where your coming from man. I've been there. I made the mistake of acting very stupid about it, showing her I was annoyed which made me look needy and insecure, needless to say we broke up.

My current, new girlfriend speaks about guys quite a lot and she flirts a fair amount, even in front of me at times, it does bother me a little, of course it does, but I act like it doesn't. For instance, a few days ago we were out together with friends and she was flirting with someone I'd never met, so I started talking to a couple of her friends, made them laugh, generally enjoyed talking to them and it wasnt long before she came back over to me.

If you want to leave her, then leave her. Let her down gently and just say that you're not in the right head frame at the moment. You clearly still have feelings for her, so it's going to be hard. But then start going out with friends, do things you enjoy and meet new people.

From experience...

jealousy in a relationship can cause the best sex ever.

I remember I used to go to bars with my one and only gf I have ever had, and she would flirt with guys so Id get jealous and I would go and talk up a girl and get her intereseted.
and then she would trade numbers with the guy and then at the end of the night we would fuck like animals.


ofc after a month of this we broke up and never talked to again.... lol
but great sex? and I never have to deal with this jealousy thing...I didnt like hitting on other women but she was asking for it..

Here's a question you absolutely NEED to ask yourself and then look at the harsh realities of the true answer.

Is your angst and torment being caused by HER or is it being caused by YOU?

Is she a selfish, self-centered person that has no respect for you and no compassion for your feelings and your comfort and is doing this to hurt your feelings or to manipulate you or because of total disregard to you?

OR

Are YOU an insecure, jealous and suspicious person by nature?

Have you had other relationships with other women that you were secure and comfortable with and this gal is just a bitch?

OR

Is this a pattern of behaviour and a typical way for you to feel and react at this stage of a relationship?


If it is that she is a creep and causing you all this distress, send her packing.

If this is part of your nature and a part of your core character then you need to work on YOU because otherwise you will carry this forever. You can ditch a crumby girlfriend but you are stuck with yourself for ever.

Look inside yourself deep and come to terms with the answers. You will either need to address her and either get her to treat you decently or you will need to ditch her if the issue is truly her. If the issue is you you will need to fix yourself and that work be easy either and may even require some professional help.

Every chick that isn't morbidly obese or diseased will garner a lot of male attention and there will always be satelites orbitting around her trying to woo her and all females like male attention and go through varying degrees to get it. You have to decide if she is abnormal and behaving inappropriately or if you are reacting to a normal process inappropriately.

Okay this one is simple. 2 options-1)break-up.
2) Don't give a fuck about the other guys, ignore them. Have fun, flit with other girls in front of her, show her that SHE IS CHASING you, even if its not so. She'll either dump you from jealousy, or cool down and start turning down other guys.

Parasitic Oneitis can be cured by

a. Fucking 5 other women hotter than your girlfriend. The perpetual orgasms will purge your mind of it's demons
b. Investing into another girl. We place value into that which have invested highly into (time, money, attention, etc). Hence why girls who are easy often don't cure our Oneitis. Find a girl who is NOT a slut and doesn't make it too easy and invest into her. Worst case scenario you will have a new Oneitis, but this one will be malignant. (By investing into a girl, I don't mean you act desperate or needy btw).

As for your relationship, your girlfriend is simply mega-shit testing you. The reason why her shit tests are so pervasive is because your relationships is imbalanced.

Cardinal Rule of Relationships: Whoever needs the other person LESS has more Power.

Right now you need your girlfriend much more than she needs you. Equilibrium can be achieved by embracing a high level of male dominance and caddishness. Be WANTED by other women the same way she is wanted by other guys.

Also you shouldn't be afraid to walk out of a relationship, ever. As soon as a girl thinks that there is no chance of you walking out on her, or that she is the only pussy you have access to, her competitive need to qualify herself to an Alpha is gone. Ensuing this will be a decline in sexual attraction, exponential increase in shit tests, and decline in general interest level.

This guy writes her poetry? Ultra-beta AFC, you should be proud that you haven't succumbed to the lower levels of humanity like he has. He will die a painful death.

Exterminate your insecurities mercilessly. Focus on Inner Game.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

True, but this attitude won't work if you're actually thinking about SERIOUS relationship. It's not the power that matters in the relationship. If people don't care for each other, they can't possibly have a RELATIONSHIP. They can easily be fuckbuddies though.

P.S. girl who constantly shittests you isn't worth it.

You drop her. Cold turkey. No contact. Clean break. Then after you've moped for a week, you go hit on some other woman and get a date. Value the pain of separation, it's your emotions healing. Respect yourself and never look back. Don't sign up for this same shit again.

i just went through this.

my ex, dumped her a week and a half ago, was a total:

- attention whore
- chronic shit tester
- insane manhater feminist
- emotional vampire

god i feel so much better without her. but the original poster's first post could have described our relationship to a tee. she held all the cards, i was such an afc when i got with her.

now, i'm learning to change my ways.

of course this should be easier as i don't believe in the possibility of a functional relationship with monogamy and trust. it's like the holy grail. good luck finding it, maybe better off not going on that quest.

You have to actually have emotionally healthy experiences before you can start believing that they are possible. Probably your best bet would be to consider the intellectual possibility of people being capable of it, then hide your own pain and cynicism as deeply as you can, so that you don't scare off the women who are actually capable of it. Any man who says "women can't X Y Z" self-fulfills. I think a big part of emotional healing, is hiding your actual pain long enough that you have "good experiences" with people, which then in turn remove the pain, so that finally there's nothing to hide anymore. Otherwise you end up in a Catch-22 of pain, repelling anything that would heal you.

If you want a relationship, one of the big early relational mistakes is "confessing" too much too soon. Keep it hidden for a bit. Don't let it all out at once that 3rd week you feel comfortable her. There's a really good chance you'll scare her off. It's usually taken me 2 weeks to realize just how crazy some woman is and my reaction has been to RUN.

Trust me. There are some gorgeous women with great personalities out there. Just have to search more. Use your brain a bit. If you're going to club, it's very unlikely you'll find there the love of your life, or even a great girlfriend. If she dumps her boyfriend just because he is afc for you, she might dump you for a better pua one day. This is common sense. If you wanna find a good-looking intelligent women with high moral standards, try daygame. College girls, are great.

One last tip: If you want to find a girl with great personality, you'd have waaay higher chances if you go to library on a friday night It's harder to pick-up in the library though.
Another alternative: go to starbucks on friday somewhere between 8-11 p.m. And try to pick-up girls who are reading something.
so true. I didn't believe in what I said to you just above, before I met girls who met all my highest standards. I can even tell you something: In the last 6 months I've met 2 who definitely did. 1 who met my personality standards but not looks, and just yesterday I met a girl with a gorgeous face and pair of beautiful eyes,(which I couldn't stop looking into). she seemed to have a great personality too...too bad she was with her bf...(who II engaged in convo and made friends with, although at first he gave me "who the fuck is my girl looking at?" face)