What to do if you call for first time and she's not there?



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:48 am 
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here is my thread of when I texted her,

how-did-i-do-hb9-need-help-for-next-con ... 83508.html

Ok I first started talking to this girl from plenty of fish and got her number after my third message. where-did-i-go-wrong-with-this-okcupid- ... 83189.html (Story of this girl starts at 4th post)

Anyway. I texted her 24 hours after that. This entire text convo lasted about 30 min.

Me: Hey is this (her POF name)?
Her: Haha..yep it sure is..who's this?
Me: Are you able to guess which guy this is :)?
Her: Nope
Me: :( not the slightest clue?
Me: Ok well ill give you a hint, it starts with a c and we talked online.
Her: Chris?
Me Nah, got the first two letters though, take one more guess then i'll tell you Smile
Her: Chase?
Me: Nope. Minus points for you Razz My name is Charlie but I'm (my POF name) online. And you?
Her: Well mine is in my profile so now you can play this game sucker :)
Me: Fine be that way :P Well I just wanted to make contact and make sure you were real. I can't talk tonight since I have a lot to do before class tomorrow but i'll call you around this time tomorrow if you behave :)
Her: Haha...ok sounds good. Have a good night.



however I called her 24 hours later and she didn't answer. I didn't leave a message. What should I do? Wait a day? send a text in a day?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:41 am 
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Eh, not a good sign that she didn't remember you. You can try calling her, but expect a flake or a no answer at best. Time to move on bro.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:49 pm 
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:( I thought I had her.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:43 pm 
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This happens to everyone at some point. Even though it might not be considered "classy" I will call two or three times in a row (provided that we had some spark when we first me.) A lot of times, the girl will pick up the second or third time. If they don't, I wait a day or two. Often girls will call back a couple hours later - but I give it up to two days to be fair (People in general can be busy, get nervous, or she could be unintentionally testing to see how needy you are.) If I don't get a call back after two days - I forget about it (I don't usually go as far as deleting the number because I've noticed that if there was chemistry when we met, girls have an odd way of texting back a week to a month later.)

There are no "rules" but if a girl doesn't pick up I try not to text after I call. Phone calls are more intimate and I don't like to backtrack.


Namaste Homeslice
- Bennn


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:43 pm 
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this kind of stuff always happens with guys. in order to guarantee considerable potential in your target, use must make a strong 'impact' with the girl right from the start that you have met her. most guys think that getting a girl's number is to be considered a trophy or a prize but it's not that at all, getting a girl's number is a link from the first meeting to the next. so to try and make sure that the girl remembers you, you must think back to the entire interaction you had with the girl, what was the most engaging part of it, did you tease her and give her a nickname (or does she know u by a nickname). you must bring the girl back to the emotional frame of mind that she had when she met you because thats one of the steps to get her hooked.

in future another way of making sure that a girl will remember you and does not flake on you is a pua concept called "seeding". what it is exactly is an indirect invitation you're making her for a date or another meeting with her. for instance if you were talking about a restaurant or club that you know and recommend, the girl will automatically expect you to invite her immediately after you mention it. so straight after you mention the place, do not insinuate that you're going to invite her, this will catch her off guard and will start to wonder "hey, this guy has just mentioned a cool place to go, but why hasnt he invited me yet?". by doing this and depending on the impact and rapport u have with her, she will be more desperate/interested to go with you and will be waiting anxiously for your call.

a great fundamental human principle is that people want the things that are "exclusive" and "hard to get" i.e. people want things which other people tell them that they can not have, it is an interesting concept of human behavior, this is what many salesmen have learnt in order for people to buy their most expensive products, by making them sound "exclusive", in "short supply", "stock is clearing out fast", "specially reserved" etc. how would you feel if you were told that you can not have a particular item, you would go crazy and feel more desperate to get it.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude ;-)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:51 pm 
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btw DONT EVER CALL MORE THAN ONCE. if u make multiple miss calls in a row, it will totally indicate that u r desperate.

dont be in the position to be waiting for a girl to call you, women are lazy or busy but definitely unreliable. you make the contact. but when u contact, dont sound like you are too eager to see her, bad sign to show that ur desperate. in between texting a girl, act like u dont care if she ever replies back. i know it sounds crazy, but it does not feel good waiting, checking ur phone every so often seeing if the girl replies. have the frame of mind that u dont care about a reply, then u will feel less anxious, and more focused on ur game.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:04 pm 
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I agree with that however after reading other pua material most have said it's safe to call at MOST one more time a few days later then leave it at that. Perhaps even a funny voice message. The reasoning is because say she somehow didn't see the missed call or she didn't recognize my number, lost her phone, chickened out or too nervous to answer ect. A second call gets rid of all those odds. If she doesn't answer then she's done and I move on but if she does then I beat the odds.

What if instead I sent a funny text message say tomorrow?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:44 pm 
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So I shouldn't even send one more text like

"Well, looks like you got cold feet. Call me back and I'll get you some warmer shoes :) Otherwise I really thought you had a lot of potential even as a friend, pleasure meeting you"


Or something along those lines. Any better ideas? I don't mind waiting a bit but calling once (24 hours ago) and she just didn't happen to pick up or return my call and leaving it at that? I say one more text wouldn't hurt, if she doesn't respond to that then it's certain. Right now there's just so much uncertainty. And no unfortunately I don't have any other girl options. I wish I did and I'm working on that but no one fucking replies to my messages on POF or okcupid no matter how funny or witty or sincere my openers are.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Honestly - in my experience calling more than one time in a row shows persistence and boldness rather than desperation. Absolutely no one calls more than once in a row - for whatever reason simply because it seems desperate. Because of this, though it may seem counter intuitive, by calling right after the girl doesn't pick up you are showing that you aren't outcome dependent and that you don't really give a fuck what she thinks of you. When I do this I just assume that I have ridiculous "value" (whatever the fuck that means) and that nothing can destroy it. If nothing comes of it (and usually you will get SOME kind of response after two days) I can rest easy and still be confident because I gave it my best try. Better yet if she does pick up, I know I have her simply because it's much easier to be irresistible on the phone than through texting.

As long as you don't call afterward, just limit it for the first time you call her, and you don't shoot her a text later on to re-initiate - this is usually pretty legit - at least for me. I could totally see why this wouldn't work - but for me, for some reason, it does.

If you have nothing to lose and you keep on running into the same shit - give it a shot sometime. Of course - what you say on the phone is on you.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:51 pm 
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Thanks Bennn, did you mean I did do the right thing by not calling again immediately after my first call and getting no answer but in the future I should do so? Or should I have called immediately?

I've also noticed she's has been on POF frequently many times since then. I'm 99% confident she blatantly did not return my call. However the reasoning could be she's trying to get me to pursue her and it wouldn't hurt to do so temporarily like you said Benn or she could just be talking to another guy. If she's trying to get me to pursue her or test how serious I am and if I don't call her ever again she may give up and move on as well. If neither of us "cave" to call the other then it's over. Where if I sucker in just this one time it may work out. I know it goes against PUA ideology but it's a good theory Bennn.

I haven't called her texted her since and I will probably wait until tomorrow night. I was thinking of sending a text saying : "You won't get cold feet again if I call you, will you? :) "

Then calling her immediately once I get a text response (since I know she's by her phone). If she doesn't answer once again let alone respond to that text then she's done for good and I move on. But if she does answer then hey It may work out.

What do you guys think?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:00 am 
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chazman0426

- For me, after the first time I call a girl, if she doesn't answer and I want to talk, I call her immediately after. I don't wait 10 minutes to call her again unless I have something else to do. I don't nag or do this often, I only do it for the first time I call a girl - after that I stop calling/texting unless she initiates it. If you REALLY like this ONE girl - this might not be the best method. For me, however, this tends to save time and I can immediately tell how into me the girl is.


The best advice I could give you is to do whatever you feel - even if it's "wrong." Just make sure to do it Boldly.


All the best

-Ben


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