Keep it going man, it's normal to have ups & down. A good inner game is hard to achieve.
You've realized there was a problem last night and decided to take actions to avoid that from now on. That's really good man. Keep the head up.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Dude this is some awesome stuff, really good read. Great self evaluation as well. We definately need to party soon, in the New Year!

hey thanks man yeah one of my fears is not taking action although thinking and talking about it. im cheering up slooowwwllly aha. nah im good, just hit a low that night.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

thought id review this stuff and about me.

okay what i want from my pick up journey:

-to be charasmatic
-Be centred with myself
-Be confident to go out alone and make a party happen in a club.
-be a leader-type person
-a guy who can go to a place where everyone hates him and still have his own fun (it makes sense to me lol)
-a guy who takes action, regimental and gets things done that he wants done even if he fails
- sort out the bad sleeping pattern ive had since i was like 12 years old which made me constantly absent in school or late.
-get laid and just be able to have fun in sets and make friends
-be comfortable in all social situations and fun in them, instead of those awkward talks with people.

I know this will take years and im setting myself small steps to achieve it. I dont like setting strict deadlines for small goals apart from setting a challenge that night because if i dont meet the deadline ill feel bad.

Something my deadlift instructor said (hes my friend's dad actually) was "you cant set what youre gonna lift next week or even today, you just go in see what you can lift and do that. You can say you lift 200kg because you did it 3 weeks ago but doesnt mean you still can, either".

This stuck with me, he said it on christmas day (yes i did deadlifting on christmas day lol) and its so true, pick up isnt an essay or office work, you can only see what you can do on the night. *if anyone would like to explain otherwise i would be grateful to hear otherwise *

so ive got to work on opening, just opening, by
1)saying hi to people
2) being more talkative to strangers all the time
3)ask questions to girls in clubs such as where is the toilet
4) opening 1 girl a day during the day time if i have the time.

I know i can do kinda well once i open too, so stfu and open bitch.

feedback guys, seriously, like how to journal better and evaluate better pleeeease.

peace guys

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

Thats a good point i was also rationalising a bit because missing deadlines and not doing what im supposed to is sorta a weakness of mine. Mainly AA deadlines.

okay with that, after a 100 approaches that 'open' i will be able to hold a conversation for 5minutes unless you were being serious about the 500 approaches.

Thanks for the feedback, Hobbit, always good advice.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

Conversating


this has been on my mind for a while, thought id mention it on here. i dont claim it to be write (EDIT: 'right' LOL) but its merely what i think right now.

conversating with new people is something thats usually my problem from watching other people and seeing why i didnt have good conversation, this is what i see the problem is:

*low self esteem
*causing you to feel that a simple "how are you " and simple small talk isnt good enough.
*not moving from small talk into interesting topics
*not making conversation that interests you, personally (i.e. controlling frame, reality, people coming into your world)
*having a good vibe
*connecting with people, without connecting with people theyll never consider you a true friend. i dont mean that whole "making a connection" shit either, i mean someone seeing you as a cool guy to hang out with and wanting to hang out with you over other people.

-----going in-head is an increasing thing, if not constant too, stemming from low self esteem------------

I wrote that in bullet points stemming from one another, knock on effects if you may. I wrote this because i dont think a lot of other peoples ways of becoming a conversationalist are good and seem just to be a way of procrastinating from actually going out there. My findings have been influenced by a few people on here too. Im also not saying this what i think the be all and end all but it seems to be at least my issues anyway (and what ive seen in a few people) and i didnt bother mentioning things like 'overcompensation' or socially retarded people who simply cannot learn to socialise.

Shah
[/u]

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

My advice (cuz this just worked awesome for me, see my post about NYE) - read Gambler's book on Natural Game, go out with massive energy, and then just plow the fuck out of sets. Keep talking until they start talking back. Ask a question about them, and then talk about what they said and do some cold reading based on that.

At a club, if it's not too noisy and you just keep plowing with lots of energy, you'll eventually hook. Downside is that it can border on DLV, but at least it gets you into sets and with the right body language nobody else will notice any DLV slipups.

And also, work the ladder. Pick up some 3s then some 4s, then some 6s, and so on.

I know, I know, one good night and suddenly I'm acting like an expert, it's terrible

Also, my other patented trick for picking up girls in a club line *and* getting to the front quicker: scan for a group of girls, follow the three-second rule, walk up to them and ask how long they've been waiting. Then just plow them into letting you stay there and chat.

You'll pick up (maybe), form a time constraint (you're only talking to them until you get to the front), and skip a lot of waiting. I do it in practically every long line I see these days. Yes, I'm an asshole. You can thank me later

thanks man thats some great advice about the ladder and plowing, ive never plowed before because of my own thoughts about it but ill be sure to try them out

and yeah i know the feeling, one good night out and you feel like a king

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

just Day2'd HB uh-oh


i spoke to her on christmas eve, i texted a flirty text then said id ring her but she didnt answer or reply when i said to meet up.

spoke to her a few days ago and texted her a few things she didnt reply again when i said to meet up.

so now on new years day, i spoke to her on facebook because she drunkenly texted me last night on new years eve (i have no idea why we've only met that once and texted about 5texts each) then i spoke to her on facebook asking about the texts as ive lost my phone. We had a fun chat and i said lets meet up, she agreed, made a time and day for coffee at Starbucks which is half way between where we each live.


Just goes to show you dont HAVE to ring, it all depends, as she wouldnt of answered the phone if i rang her (i did about 3 different times). we have texts and facebook and girls love using them, so i may as well use them. also i bet a girl feels safer and more comfortable to reply through text than answering the phone from some guy you met when drunk.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

I sorta meant that but i explain things terribley haha thanks for clearing it up, hobbit.

Thought id just mention that she sent me some essay over facebook saying that shes swamped over revision before she goes back up to uni and that her new years resolution is "to not lead people on" wtf? she got the wrong angle off me lol.

so i was just gunna say that everything i just said before was a load of bullshit, btw i speak a lot of bullshit and in the moment stuff so dont take me too seriously too often.

I was hoping she'd be a good confidence boaster for the monday night outing but maybe not. oh well.

Tomorrow: Go gym, Revise something before i go back to college, goddamit, Open up and be friendly before i go out for the night, open 10 sets in the night.

I say 10 sets because ive focused on just having one set to open and i think it mighta made it too much of an event, lets see how planning on 10 goes. Also no Alcohol.

Use stuff i talked about earlier. and the things from MyNameIsCanada on sarging less attractive to hotter women.

Edit: thanks for the meditation advice, Hobbit! It helped great, at work sometimes i get lost in serving people and lose my head. little few minute mindfulness meditations worked crazy wonders, wonder what itll do for my sarging

peace

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

i havent been out since new years, actually i went out on the monday after new years, it was going good, i walked in the club feeling good and stuff but i saw my brother and he came over trying to be a dick...family issues but in short hes going prison and wants to try and make amends all of a sudden or hes just doing what he usually does; fuck over everyone, steal, lie, threaten and attack people then come crying (literally) and asking for forgiveness, rinse, repeat.

that killed my state and made me not able to approach although i genuinely felt up for it, the most i did was when i found a purse on the floor and asked some girls if it was theirs, turned out is was my friend's.

anyway this is a venting post really. its gunna be gay. hella gay.

All my life ive had a bad sleeping habit or at least as young as 10 when i moved down to where i live now. My mother has always had a bad sleeping habit, my brother and my sister. My dad seems good with it though but i dont know if he just handles it better.

I dont know if its the fact that we got it off out mother through habit as she did and the fact that (although i love her) we were left to most things ourselves in life, she was a single mother who i think had illnesses she never told us about. So yeah we didnt have routine, we didnt have someone to wake us up in the morning, or give us a bedtime and for a long while we cooked our own meals and shit.

I feel i pressed most daily habits and daily life things on myself through seeing my friends doing it and me realising i have to do it. I grew up in poverty, with a single mother, who was ill. it happens. im cool with that. seriously all the shitty memories of life only make me happy that i am where i am. the past is the past. I laugh at it and accept it made me who i am today and i like this guy so far, hes trying to sort his life out and do good.

WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT, is if this sleeping thing is a genetic thing. this is not good because that means its out of my control and im the only thingi can control in this world. My mother still has a bad sleeping habit and i was thinking about it and it scared me brah, like real scared me, shitless, the idea of being fucked up like that for the rest of my life, itd mean i wouldnt be able to get a real job and shit.

Im also scared ill never get organised and set down to do work with structure because i have a short attention span and i never grew up with any structure ort my mother neevr said "do your homework boy!" which is what i kinda wanted really (i was an unruly kid though with anger problems so i wasnt an easy kid to deal with, so i aint blaming her too much).

I am trying to get organised and do my work and get filming properly but it seems to be my memory too, i have a bad memory and short attention span, a bad mix.

ima spend my life fighting this, if i wanna write or film shit as a career, you need to be dedicated as fuck. i would like to say, looking back to when i was 16, ive definitely grown, more mature and more focused and sticking to things, more confident. I remember when i was 16 and i first started working in this shop i still work at and i was on the till my first customers were 2 hot chicks (coincidence i not saying this because of PU) and i just had this frozen face, shaking hands, couldnt even open my mouth let alone mouth words. fuck saying them. anxiety rushing through me. scariest 3 hours of my life. Everything wasnt scanned into the till, so you had to put the price in but i was so scared i still scanned everything when people came to the till. man i was a pussy. Now though, im a cocky, flirty guy who lays down the law in that place, made customers apologise for being rude to co-workers, helped an old lady carry shopping back to her house, even getting drunk with customers and shit. This is my proof i can change socially and my mindset for the things i want to achieve. I hope.

Im so going to fail life. i thought id put this up as ive wrote about this in personal a bit but putting it out in the open feels good. sorry for the pointless ramble if you actually read it. i wrote this at 5am.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

im going to stop learning pick up for a while.

i need to sort out my life first, i need to get my college work down and my filming hobby down.

ive got some serious self esteem issues about not getting stuff i want done. Im so far behind in coursework and getting my hobby going that i feel like shit all the time. Which makes me think ill end up like my brother which is depressing, who just got 16months in prison and taken away last friday which is also fucking with my head. Ive noticed im actually pretty terrible with talking strangers in general, i thought i was better than i was (selective memory i guess) and now ive realised just how bad i am at all this stuff.

When i go out at night it fucks my sleeping habit up for the rest of the week and because im so tired all the time i dont get work done either, which links back to what i stated above.

Ive decided not to go out anymore until my college work is totally balanced and my media production is well on its way. BUT i dont want to totally give up on this, so when im in town after college i will ask random ladies and people in general just simple questions such as "where is the post office?" and make small talk in lines and places.

Also i like some innergame stuff like meditating and journaling. The reason i came back to college (im 19 and in england college covers 16-18 age range) because i wanted to prove to myself i can actually be the organised student that does his work and revision and so far ive failed, badly. This is something i should prove to myself before i go to university. Itd let me know i can be productive and hope to get somewhere in life.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

Hey mate... Seems like you're also going through hard time. Pick Up is not a priority, you're right. Achieve what is important for now: college, family... Yet, stop believing you're bad at talking to strangers. It's a competence, and like all competence, it takes some practice. If you have no time for that, that's okay. You'll learn that later. But don't think you can't learn that.

In addition, you may be stopping trying to pick up girls... but keep on working on your inner game. A good inner game is priceless and will help you in those hard time. A great inner game will get you somewhere don't worry!

Cheer up!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

yeah im still working on all that and planning my life out better, its not so much going out but the fact it rings around in my head all day and takes up my day with thinking of "approaching" every person and girl i see. Ill start this up again after ive filmed and edited my production im trying to get started. So maybe March.

field report

having fun:

This is not a real field report but journaling of my night out that has a bit of gaming in it. I just wanted to go out and have fun, not worrying about approaching and being sober around drunk people.

There was like 12 of us drinking around my friends house and me and Megatron just being extremely sexist to the women (goddamn you MyLifeIsBro.com). we left for town and went into wetherspoons, and i just had a good time with my friends i had a tiny bit of banter with the barmaid and some girl that walked past and 2 random guys next to me. Went to On the Rocks bar after.

i Joked around the bar as i knew everyone and even the odd line to randoms in the bar, i was having so much fun and a good vibe, i ended up outside towards the end of the time in there talking to 2 guys i know who were with a girl ive seen around. i was teasing her and busting her balls a lot, accusing her of stuff, it was going well i think, i kept doing 60's mutual caressing thing, she held on a bit. It got sexual but i kept it cool as it was a group setting of people i knew. I realised she was my friends Ex, so left it.

anyway i lost all my friends and went to a fast food place and somehow this conversation happened i cant remember if she opened me with this or i opened her and this was her reply;

random girl: i bet you give good head
Me: i give fucking great head
RG:who are you, youre 19
ME: im like fucking 26
some guy: uhh this is my wife
RG: no youre not, dont listen to him.

anyway we had good proximity, good eye contact, sexual state kinda thing and teasing and the main topic being about us giving each other head...i lost her after my friend called me over.

But i hesitated on escalating (which is why i didnt get her) but only because the guy was literally standing in front of us and i didnt know what to think as he kept claiming to be her husband and i was very drunk.

Oh also somehow i got a gay guys number on Tuesday morning. lmao.

evaluation:

just having fun was cool, it the night i needed, after production ill go sober nights out for gaming.

Until then ill make conversation with 1 stranger a day/night or something.

Also another thing i realised is the actual act of walking up is something im not used to or even done much, so ill walk up to strangers and ask directions whenever i can, try hot girls too, so my brain gets used to it. habit building kinda.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

yeah okay, giving up on pua didnt go well, im going out tonight. I just realised i was expecting too much of me, ima just get used to approaching strangers in the club.


mission: speak to 5 strangers in the club, make 2 of them decent looking women.

note: i do social pua related stuff outside of this journal, like speaking to people i normally wouldnt or speaking my mind more, just breaking out of my shell and stuff, working on eye contact (just today i got into that 'note the eye colour of each person you speak to' which i found gives you a very intense look which they notice) but all this is for another journal i write in each day.


My approaches can be people walking passed, at the bar, at tables, in groups or whatever just speak to them and try and have small talk with them and see what happens.

peace and love guys.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)