| Well, I was new to all this business. I am a graduate student and that girl is an undergraduate student in the same school. I was the Teaching Assistant (TA) of class she was taking. During the first month of the lectures I did not even notice about her. It was the midterm exam, when I had a first interaction with her. As the proctor I was to check the school ID's of all the students. By chance she did not have her school ID. The professor told me to check her any other photo ID. She showed me her Driving Licence. Professor asked me, that had you seen her ID closely? I said, no I just glanced at it. With a giggle he told me to have a closer look at her ID. I went to her and asked for her ID again, and told her that funny thing but I said I have to do it as it is part of my duty. With smile she showed me her ID again, I looked at her photo and then looked into her eyes. Oh man, that was the turning point for me. Her eyes were so beautiful, so innocent. So that was the very first interaction.
Since then,I couldn't help myself to keep her thoughts out of my mind. After that I just thought that I should make some kind of interaction with her. She asked me a few things about the course and I explained those to her very well. I wanted to know more about her, as I said that I am totally novice in that field, but I know one thing that if I go fast I would not be able to get her. So gradually I kept talking to her about general stuff, mostly related to studies, after the class on the way back to the library. As I am a graduate student and she is an undergraduate student so we can't have a combined studies. Day by day I tried to open her a little bit, so that she would come to a comfortable level with me. I was planning that I should say her one day that, "hmm, you are lookin' good", but I never fostered the courage to do so. She shared some kinda of her routine things with me, like what she would be doing next term. Where would she be next term, by the way she was going for an internship next term. Then one day she told me that she got a room on rent near to her internship place. So I just though she is getting comfortable with me, I don't know I was right or not. One day, after the class, we were on our way back to library. so we just stopped at the junction and just talking about the general stuff, then suddenly she said, "Oh, you are looking good". I was really surprised to hear that, as I was not expecting that thing. After a few seconds I said, "by the way you are also looking cool". After that day I totally went into a different frame of mind. I don't know exactly, what it really mean if girl says this thing to a guy? But I just thought that she has some kind of feeling for me. After that she were in my thoughts all the time. II was so deeply overwhelmed by her thoughts that I was failed to get over that. So at that time, I just thought that its kinda a feeling of crush and It would wane away with the passage of time. So the term was about to finish and I got the feeling that if did not tell her every things I would not able to concentrate on anything and my whole term would be screwed up. I have decided to tell her everything.
I know that by saying everything would not help me getting her, but I just though that if she would say NO that I would automatically went back to my normal. So, one day, after the lecture I stopped her and I said that I wanna tell something.I said there is girl in my class and I like her. I asked her to help me out in that. She said how can I help you? I said I want to tell the girl that I like her. I told her she is in the class I m TA for but I would not tell her name to you. She asked me how deeply you know her. I said I kind of know her but not too much. She told me to go out with her, go to some coffee shop, go out for movie and then tell her that you like her, she told me to be patient and not to say everything straight away. But I told her that due to her thoughts I was unable to do my work and studies . So then she told me that you can you wait a little and get to her during her internship? she asked me how far she is going for her internship. I said not too far but not too close either and I said that I just can't wait . Then she told me that, okay then tell her. I said okay, I paused for a while, and then I said "ITS YOU". She paused for a while and then she said, she really liked when I told her that, she said you are really a nice guy and every girl would love to be with you BUT I am right now kind of looking for some other guy. She said that she was out with him on coffee and movie a few times. She said that you should look around for other girls and you are so honest so good. I said, may be I can't look for other girls. Then I just wrap up the conversation by saying that you are looking good, your smile is beautiful and you look really cool with hair down.
I went back to my work and I was really feeling light, at that time I did not have a feeling of regret or anything. I started working on my studies. I saw her in the next class she was kind of looking upset. She came with hair up. I did not say anything after the class. In the next class, which was the last class of the term, she was again looking really upset to me, again her hair were disarrayed and that forced me to think that I did something really wrong. I thought that I should not have said all that to her and I hurt her. I stopped her after the class and I said are you okay? she said yes. Then I said I am sorry if you are hurt with something I told that day, she said its okay. I asked her can we be good friends? she said "sure why not". I said can I add you on Facebook, she said sure. I asked her that would you like to have a dinner with me before going for the work term, she said I will let you know. I was kinda happy that what I was thinking was wrong and I did not hurt her. I sent her the Facebook friend request. I was busy in the exam but I kept a track on the acceptance of my friend request. She neither accepted nor rejected my request. I just thought she might be busy in the exams and not using facebook these days. I sent her a few Facebook messages for good luck for the exams but no reply.
After the finals I was expecting that she should accept my request. But she neither accepted nor rejected my request. That thing made me really curious and I send her few messages like you should accept my request and like that. One day she rejected my friend request. I sent her a prompt message saying that you did a wrong thing, you can't realize at that time but you have lost someone! I wrote that I am happy to lose a person who does not care about me but at the same time feeling sorry for that person who lost the one who really cares of her! And I have decided that this would be my last message to her!!!
I did not sent any message to her for a month, but after that I realized that I still like her and no matter what had happened I should get her. After that I sent her 3 more messages, just saying "I hope every things would be fine" and "happy new year". In total I have sent her 23 messages over a course of 5 months on facebook. I know, I should not have donethat, but whats done is done! I can't undo it! Now her work term is over and she is back to school. She has been to school for three weeks but I did not even try to talk to her nor did I try to see her.
I know I have screwed up the whole setting with that girl, but I really like her and I want to figure out some way to WIN her back! I know my next move would be the most crucial. I am not really sure what should I do in this situation. I really need help and advice!!!
|
CHAT