Heya guys! How's it hanging?
It's been a while since you've heard from me, mainly because I've had a gf for about 1,5 years now. And everything is going great with her; we laugh all the time, have lot's of fun and even though we each have a busy life we still have quite some time together without invading the personal freedom of the other.

Sounds great, right? Well, yeah it does, if it weren't for 1 single issue... the Sex!

I have to admit I'm not the best when it comes to it, and that's mainly because without drinking I normally last for about 1 minute... and it is fucking frustrating! I've read all kinds of shit on the internet about it being in your head, and that is totally true! When she gives me a blow or hand job, everything's alright and I can last for quite some time. But when it comes to the actual sex, I'm way too quick on the draw...

And now this weekend me and my gf talked about how fucked up it is, and before she always say she didn't mind, but ofcourse she does, but now she talked about how she never had an orgasm with me (or other guys from her past) like the orgasms she has when she does it herself. And I wondered if that is normal or not? I think it is, because if you do it yourself you know exactly where to touch what with the perfect pressure and everything, which is impossible for somebody else!

Hopefully you've got some thoughts on that, and maybe if there's a way that I can increase my stamina in the future!

Many thanks in advance!
Peace, by Feist

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Girl: 'Aww you're playing me'
Feist: 'If I got a nickle for everytime I heard that...'

of all the girls I've been with most of them orgasm in different ways. I know some that will only go with oral.. and some that have never gone with oral and like the rubbing sensation their clit gets when having sex.. So until you figure out how to make her go there really isn't anything you can do.

As far as you coming too soon, just don't think about it so much. Distract yourself with something else.. It may sound weird, but when I first became sexually active, to avoid going too soon I would just think of the most fucked up stuff possible, and it kept me from going.

Thnx for the reaction!
And well I know what you're saying, and she always said I was the only guy that made her come oral, but usually she comes best with clitoral stimulation. But the point is that she's saying when she reaches a climax with me (or with another guy she's been with) it's not as intense as when she does it herself.

As for the distracting, been there, done that... not very effective in my case unfortunately!

_________________
Girl: 'Aww you're playing me'
Feist: 'If I got a nickle for everytime I heard that...'

strengthen your pc muscles

I lost my virginity at 13 and at that time I couldn't last more than 3 minutes of whatever I was doing. So I started working out and 8 years and alot of different girls later it takes me forever. maybe it was the working out, the confidence or even something as simple as growing up I don't know. All I know is that Ididn't focus on what ciuld be wrong but instead did alot of "what could help" activities. Maybe it'll work for you.

First of all, thnx for your replies, much appreciated!
And I lost my virginity at 20 (with the girl who is currently my gf) and I've been known with this problem from the start.
It got better in the weeks we would see each other more often and we'd have more sex, so I did have some kind of stamina build-up, but when that period would pass and the sex became less frequent, I lost my earlier built-up stamina again...

Working my PC-muscles could be helpful! I'm definately going to try that, thanks!

_________________
Girl: 'Aww you're playing me'
Feist: 'If I got a nickle for everytime I heard that...'

Bro!
If you know you're going to *get it on* jerk of on your own beforehand!
when you're jerking of don't have the ejaculation as the objective, instead stop when you feel like you about to come or just before and wait about 15 secs or so so you can chill down a bit, then at it again.. keep doing this daily until you can last jerking off for more than 15 minutes. Once you can last this long you have mastered the art of ejaculation (=

But you need a plan B

press your million dollar spot to prevent ejaculation and keep on going!!
It's on the perineum, between the balls and anus; there's a small indentation that's especially sensitive for some reason. Chinese prostitutes were said to be worth a million dollars if they knew where it was, hence the name.

/Snaskit

lol, tried your plan B tonight... EPIC fail!
I was doing her and trying to find the spot but it all went kind of clumsy and I almost fell off her lol, made me last for about 2 minutes longer because of the laughter though, thanks bro

and like I said in the initial post, I don't really have a problem with postponing my orgasm when doing it myself, and also not when she is giving me a blow or handjob... only while actually penetrating her I can't seem to control it! That's why maybe the PC-muscles exercises might come in hand, because I have the idea I can control them when laying or sitting down, but not when I'm performing the sexual act with my entire body...

_________________
Girl: 'Aww you're playing me'
Feist: 'If I got a nickle for everytime I heard that...'

Yup. If you notice, when you do almost anything that increases the tension in your body, your PC muscle is one of the first that will involuntarily contact to shift the tension somewhere else. Doing positions where you're as relaxed as possible first will help you get into a nice groove first.

By doing kegel exercises, you can feel an increase in your ability to keep your PC muscle relaxed.

I do kegels all the time, every day, whenever I think about it. You can do them sitting down at a desk, whilst walking or waiting in a queue, when taking a piss (stopping and starting abruptly). The longer you can hold each one, the stronger it becomes.

The other part is a simple visualisation exercise. When you're "practicing" feel yourself get completely hard and then hit a pace where you're aroused, but in no danger of blowing anytime soon. Call that level 7 (where 0 is completely soft and you're sitting down doing a tax return, and 10 is no matter what happens, even if a train were to hit you right now, you're coming). The idea is to feel what it's like to be around that 7 mark and adjust your speed and depth of stroke to stick around that level. As soon as you feel yourself creeping towards that 8, just back off slightly on the pace, or stop completely, and then continue once you feel you've relaxed your PC muscle and are down to a 5 or 6. After a while of getting to 7/8, then backing off, then continuing, you will de-sensitise to that speed and will be able to slowly increase the pace until you can pound as hard as you like for 20-30 minutes straight.

The final part is to make sure you give her at least one orgasm before you even start penetration. Lick her pussy, and then after a while you can insert a finger about 2 inches in and do a "come hither" motion pressing on the upper wall of the vagina, where the texture is different, gentle at first and then with more pressure and slightly faster. Together with licking or fingering the clit, this can give her both a clitoral and g-spot orgasm, either one after the other or simultaneously. Inserting your finger about 3-4 inches in (almost as far as it'll go) WITHOUT hitting the cervix at the back, and doing the same come hither, will give a deep spot, full-body orgasm. After that, you can penetrate and she'll be warmed up and more easily have an orgasm, but even if she doesn't you take all the pressure off of yourself to "perform" because she's already had at least one and is happy!

Believe me when I say that, if you can last when you masturbate or have a blowjob, you can also last as long as you want during penetration if you just do the simple exercises.

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