there is no clear answer! okay basically i know we should not go for adinner.and have some coffee instead.should i pay for that. and when can i pay

If it's your first date, then pay for it. Don't be cheap, but don't be too nice either

Some will say: Never! Don't let yourself be used. or It can come across as you are not interesting enough by yourself so you are trying to 'buy' her interest.

Some will say: Sure, why not show a bit of gentlement conduct. Afterall girls love providers.

Bottom line, it depends on you. If you feel like it, sure. If you feel obliged to, probably not the best idea. If you want a fb, maybe not. If you want a relationship, maybe.

My 'rule' is something like: If I would pay for a friend, I can pay for a date. I like giving tickets and paying drinks to my firends so I don't mind for a date and it's very natural for me.

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It really depends on the date and the setting. If it's a first "date" and we're at a bar, I'll pick up the first round and playfully say that the next round is on her. Another fun trick that I learned from someone on this forum is, if you're at something like a movie, you can tell her that you'll buy the tickets and she can run in and get the popcorn... No sense in waiting in line twice!

Just don't make a big deal out of it, in my opinion. It's all in fun and most girls really don't mind paying for little things if she's having a good time.

As far as food goes, you can do this: Eat a big meal BEFORE going out. A woman will pretty much never order more food than the guy. She'll feel like a fatty wolfing down two cheeseburgers while you're drinking a coke. Order something small like an appetizer and she'll more then likely follow suit. It's a shot at that self-confidence and you'll keep the bill in a small range so you can just pick it up yourself,

I'm a Feminist. Meaning, I believe in women's lib, equality for women, and find stereotypical gender roles repugnant. If I wanna be the house husband someday and raise the kids, I will. That means she gets to pay for her half of the meal. Every woman I've ever dated since even the 1990s has been down with that. I know some women exist who think that men are supposed to play a traditional provider role, but they're beneath my interest. This is 2011 and I find the old fashioned stuff quite passe. Having this attitude is a good way to shield yourself from gold diggers, and generally keeps you from behaving like an AFC bank account.

Some of this is dependent on relative income level. Let's say I've never met the gal in person before; I don't go for a dinner date, I go for coffee. I wouldn't sweat buying her coffee because it's $2 vs. $4, who cares. Buying dinners for gals who may blow you off could easily get expensive though. "You get the next one" doesn't work because often there isn't a next one, 1 date and you're done. Even if the money doesn't mean much to you, letting a gal have things for free that she doesn't have to work for, disengages her from being interested in you. There's cognitive science stuff to back this up, that people generally want to work on solving a problem a little. If it's too easy, if there's nothing of value riding on it, it's boring. Same reason free personals are a bit worse than paid personals. No monetary commitment, so no investment in getting something to happen.

If I had a professional level of income and she didn't have diddly doo, I wouldn't make her pay for the dinner, or half the dinner. That's an income disparity problem, not a gender power problem. On the other hand, I'd make her reciprocate in a manner appropriate to her means. Maybe I buy the movie tickets but she buys the coke we split. Maybe I buy dinner but she pays for parking. Women I've dated generally have enough pride that they want to do that sort of thing, they want to be seen as self-reliant and not a sponge.

If we're actually continuing to see each other then we just take turns footing the bill for things. That's less gauche than splitting checks all the time. If we're actually continuing then "getting stuck with that 1st and only bill" isn't a problem. Over time it balances out to be roughly equal.

I don't buy women drinks at bars. I know there are examples here of guys who do a pretty good alcohol-powered game, but that kind of game is not for everyone, and it's really really easy to be AFC in a hurry buying women drinks. Pretty much it's against my policy. If I met her in a bar she's already got a drink. I only drink socially and don't care to get totally plastered. I don't do any of the other recreational lubricants either. Not handing out free drugs for sex.