You could have done more while the spark was still alive - and drinking didn't help with that

I always laugh at people who say "I could have done X but I was too drunk" like it was just the way it was, and couldn't have happened any other way. I don't even drink in the first place and I just wonder what the point is when it's getting in the way. You got to watch all areas of your life to be attractive and this is one of them.
Anyway got a bit side tracked - you're too worried about her response.
What works for me is I guide the conversation (when the opportunities arise) to topics that get us to talk about what we're after right now. This solves a lot of problems. If she wants a relationship and you talk about how you're not into them right now (and that's how you honestly feel), then you know where you both stand. She might even be willing to try doing stuff with you, knowing it won't mean anything.
Then you will feel safer about testing boundaries with her. Eg. when she pays you out, tickle her, yes she will defend herself but watch the WAY she defends herself and the words she uses. You will gleen whether she's enjoying the physical contact or not. Usually trying to hold you to stop is a good sign - she's holding onto you.
Another example of something else I tried was, when she said we should sit on a couch, the first thing that came to mind was the "yawn and put arm behind girl" cliche you see on the movies. So I did that as cheesily as possible. Actually she didn't seem to notice, and I felt akward, so I said "Ah it just seemed like the 'thing to do' hahah" (I said it better than that but it's hard to remember details of thigns you did "in the moment") but she snapped out of it and said "Huh, what?" and I said what I was doing, and she went "ohhh!" and laughed, and made a funny comment about it. I chuckled too and moved on with other conversation. I didn't get a lot of information out of that particular one because I think she was completely oblivious but it's a good example of how you can just try stuff and as long as you're cool with whatever happens, there's no risk.
I think you could even pull that off without an initial joke if you wanted, eg. put your arm around her as you sit down, and feel her vibe, if she doesn't move at all - she's frozen - that means she's uncomfortable. in fact if she doesn't snuggle into you, you can assume she's uncomfortable and you can pull away and say "Whoops - that was just a habit, lol"