thx man its good to hear someone else had the same problems..

Its not anything you have done wrong, it's her. She is damaged and understanding that you can't change her or catch her in a lie...it won't change her.
Almost like an addict in a sense, she can't see what she is doing wrong...YOU are wrong.

Your choice is really simple, deal with it or leave her.

That is a brilliant way to put it!

I feel for you, mang. I think most of us responding here have been in the same situation (I sure have), and I agree it is not something you can change. Some guys can deal with liars, but I know I can't. I also know now that it is not necessary to put up with liars--there are girls out there with enough integrity to be honest. Find one.

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- Lux et Veritas -

To me she sounds like she is addicted to that chat and you are paranoid.

First of all SHE HASNT cheated on you. You just have put pressure on her and you are being NEEDY.

I would suggest you start doing the same and never ask again what she is up to.
This will pull her interest back to you.

Breaking up is not a solution to save the relationship. If you break up most possibly she will forget about you and move on.

If she is talking to other guys is because she feels pressure.

When you are chasing someone that someone leaves. And this is exactly what you are doing.

True...but not true...Here is my opinion.

I don't buy that for the simple reason that there is a "relationship" established, regardless if she hasn't technically kissed someone or moved further into a sexual scenario with another guy...she is straddling the fence. If she wants to talk to someone, it should be her BF, not some new ARAB stranger...whats the point? Any stranger for that matter, why are you out trying to meet new people, its trouble. Thats like him going out to sarge while in a relationship, she finds out and she gets mad...does the advice you gave apply to her too because obviously, she is not going to like it if she cares about him.

Now, if they are long established friends...thats another story and by all means, as long as you communicate this, it should be fine.

Im not trying to step on any toes MARIA...but I just don't agree...if she wants to meet new people, perhaps she should be single.

cedius, I don't totally agree. We don't know the content or context of the chats, so I don't see how this can be labeled as "straddling the fence" (of infedelity?)

maria_, these are good points--maybe MF moody is needy and paranoid without realizing it. But the issue is that he is being lied to. We weren't suggesting breaking up to save the relationship, but breaking up because liars are not worth the hassle.

However...
I do agree that paranoia from a partner can cause one to tell small white lies in order to avoid an argument. You may have hit the nail on the head there.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

I think you guys are forgetting that she is blatantly lying to him about it. Regardless of the intent of the chats she shouldn't be lying to him about something like that.

_________________
~Carmo~

@ Carmo... Initially, that was my point.

If the context of the messages were innocent, why lie?

But...I have been there with my last GF...Regardless of the content, I shouldn't ask if I trust her...but then when it came to me...I was supposed to be open and when I would do same..."what, you don't trust me?" to her...but in a playful manner of course...it would not be tolerated...very double standard.

Sometimes she would be over my shoulder watching me text a friend...I didn't care, I wasn't hiding anything...I do that to her...batten down the hathes, we are going to war!!!

I guess Im jaded when it comes to a situation like that.

How do you bust her ? lol,you've just did.
You have this thoughts like you're the guilty one "what will happen to me ? will she think i'm a stalker ?"
Who cares what happens to you,as long as you stick to your values ?
Else what are you gonna do,live a incomplete relationship until you officially catch her and then what ? Boom she'll admit she's guilty and she's gonna change.Maybe in cinemas.

She is not trying to meet new ppl. She is only trying to release the pressure he is putting on her.

We all do friendly flirting and about that Arab, she will never meet him. He is just a fantasy.

Her lying is HIS fault. It is not that suddenly she decided to lie to him JUST because she wanted to cheat. It is that he put PRESSURE on her to tell him everything.

I think she is alright. I would have done the same the first time if I would have been told off. Then I would have been upset for being told off again and if I was "caught" I would have broken up the relationship with lots of happiness and relief!

WHAT?!?

Lying can be initiated by your partner's insecurity, but a lie is ALWAYS the fault of the liar.

You're confusing causality with correlation.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

Perhaps she should do our boy here a favor then..."Honesty is the best policy" regarding who is right or wrong...there is no need to lie!

If you are not happy about something...have the balls...and yes...I have been with women that have them...meaning, they will speak their mind...to come out and say..."Look, you have nothing to worry about...insert explanation here" and then move on...but to lie, perhaps you have a point in some of this but lying...well, would you like to be lied to?

Lol wow, how is her lying his fault, he can't be blamed for her lies and insecurity. An honest person will be 100% honest with you regardless the pressure, I think she was going to cheat on him sooner or later, you can never be excused for blatantly lying like that to your partner, and it should not be justified.

This is a classic example of the female rationalization monster in action. Sorry to call you out Maria but lying is never anybody’s fault except for your own. It’s called integrity.

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~Carmo~