This is standard drama. Ignore it.

In fact, ignore all her drama. Respond to her in a positive way when she calls or texts. When the conversation goes sour, end the interaction by ignoring the drama.

Move forward in a positive way. She will follow you if she is able.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

Thank you so much for the information. It is helping me keep my head level.

For today example, one of our mutual friends showed me her ex's facebook with a picture they took looking "cozy" on the couch (taken before she threw him under the bus yesterday) and I just brushed it off. Not sure if that means anything or not but....

Yea, it hurt to see and one's mind wanders but I just adhere to what you guys said about it being a comfort and validation thing.

I hope anyone going through a similar situation can learn from this. I thought my situation was unique, but apparently it's not.

WalQer, I must also ask should I be contacting her at all? She really played it out to the point where she seemed so hurt that if I ignored her completely it'd be total devestation. Is this true, or should I just cut off all the contact and not even worry about it being a factor.

I think that Carlos you're right, absolutly.
But when you love someone, it is really not easy to ignore the person, give no news, and make as if you are not interest anymore.

However, it is this way if you want her back

The FB pic is drama, too. You did good.


The no contact rule doesn't work for me in this situation. Here is why: the no contact rule was made for people who have been dumped who cannot accept that reality. All they want to do is contact the ex, when the ex wants nothing to do with them. At that point any contact drives the wedge further between the two people. This is not your situation. Your ex is trying to get your attention, she just sucks at it. So she plays a mind game.

I repeat: when she contacts you, respond in a friendly and positive way. When she turns the conversation sour, ignore (change the subject) or eject. Do this as consistently as you can. Have no tolerance for drama, and drama will evaporate.

Be the boulder in the ocean, not the waves.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

got it. Sometimes it seems like she wants to be in touch w me and other times it seems too hard for her. Like shes conflicted. So the contact is cool but i shouldnt really be doing it...should expect her to contact me first i guess? And you can be sure ill keep it drama free cool and positive. Im always the one with the positive attitude. In the end. However it turns out i hope it helps us both.

Learnandgrow,

Your ex seems (and definitly is) confused, but I'm wondering : do you know what YOU you want ?

Yes I have the same situation. This girl i used to go out with basically broke it off or whatever and went to another dude. So i decided to basically break off contact but now all she does is text me and call me and get mad when i stop responding to her. I think she still likes me but idk. The point is she's confused. I feel like a lot of these stories told on this post is similar to mine. I guess just keep going until she fully comes out that she likes me idk...Any advice would be appreciated.

and one more question: what if she continues to constantly hang out with the ex. Are odds still it wont work out for them or that she is still using him for comfort and reassurance? In all honesty she doesnt have many good friends and now its like if there is not me to hang out 90 percent of her time will be with him. Will she still eventually begin to think about and miss me?

Irrelevant. You cannot control her. But you can create a positive SPAM around yourself by ending your half of this game.

Good luck--let me know how this works out for you

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

I understand this and don't intend to in any way shape or form, but I'm more or less looking for what it means. Would this still be for validation, jealousy, and etc, or does it show genuine attraction for him. Remember, last night she threw him under the bus and then she may be with him so the signals are very mixed. Also, I intend to create a positive SPAM around myself and am in the process. And apologies for the solo paragraphs, been posting from mobile!

This is pretty good thread. Seems to me that some girls do like to break up just to see how they feel about the relationships once they get serious. Weird logic to push someone away when they want to stay together.

Moderators, I think we SHOULD have "Take a Break"Girl/Ex-girlfriend management topics in this forum. Its quite of the uncharted waters for many (yours true included)