Ok so I haven't posted here in a while, and I have been around the community for a bit and learned a lot. That said, I don't think I have had a shot like this one in a while, so I wanted to reach out for a little advice.

Short and sweet version:

I have known this girl (mostly as a distant acquaintance, I don't even have her # though I have seen her a number of times) for a few years at college. Recently I have run into a few times, and gotten what I believe are IOI's.

Recently, she posts on facebook a request for a boy to be her partner for ballroom dancing (pleading for one really, and saying girls like boys who can dance). I responded that I had secretly always wanted to but never had the time. She responded with the schedule also saying "pleeeease do it!! it will be more fun with someone I know!!"

So, I am not sure if I am in the friend zone, or where exactly I am, but I intend to go through and do the classes with her, and would like it to turn to more.

I was going to start by suggesting coffee or a drink or something after class one day. Perhaps try to meet up later in the evening at a party or something.

Dude... Relax.

This is the sort of thing that starts in a "friend zone" kind of way. But doesn'tn neccesarily have to end that way. Just remember that dancing is like foreplay. You touch each other and even have the chance to stimulate some erogenic zones haha!

Anyway its all about confidence. If you act like a needy nerd, you will be friend zoned. If you act cool, charming and attractive... she might just wanna dance with you horizontally as well.

Just go for it! It will be good experience despite the outcome + you will meet girls at the dance class + you will improve your dancing skills, which in turn improves your clubgame.

Damn, I think I'm gonna take up dancing classes as well haha!

greetz

Bucc.

_________________
I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

agree with above! relax my man! Just take it as it comes.

I have been ballroom dancing before with some female mates, and it was a lot of fun! The way the class worked was we switched partners every 2 mins or so, then at the end it was a free dance with whoever you wanted!

I found it hard at first but people there were very helpful and i got the hang of it in the end, and i must admit, once you are in time with someone, it can get very sexual!

Enjoy mate, and i have used my ballroom skills( i know one dance!) in clubs and girls LOVE IT!

The way you are thinking now, you are wanting her to like you and you are feeling pushy to make things happen. Relax. Just go and dance with her. Women at dance classes get hit on all the time, so it is much better to be attractive and make her chase you. Focus on the dancing, and just talk to her, don't ask her for coffee or a date because you have not created rapport yet and you are still oblivious about her thoughts and feelings about you. Just talk to her causally and listen and watch her. You can tell her that you are attracted to her, once you have gotten to know her, but you can say that casually and see what happens, but don't imply that you want to date her or that you want her to like you back. I've done that once and it has not scared the woman away. Just dance, talk, dance and talk with other people. I don't think that women are attracted to guys who think that dancing with a girl will get them a date. Read Intimate Connections by Dr. Burns, it explains the psychology of how stopping chasing girls makes you more attractive and makes them chase you. It takes time, and you have an opportunity to get some experience talking to a woman, start by making female friends and gradually become more open about your feelings when you are attracted to a woman, but don't be needy for them to like you. Like yourself first. Women like independent guys.

Thanks for all the advice guys, I appreciate it. The question that still puzzles me is if the first class goes well, should I ask her out to coffee for immediately after? Or just leave and send a text later something funny about dancing? just curious what you think

Your welcome....

Personally I think the coffe is a bit overeager. You can probably hang out after dancing... but don't seem to preoccupied with getting maximum levels of attention and time from her. THis will probably scare her away.

Also, you will have like multiple sessions right? I think you should try to game her a little better every week while dancing...and see where that gets you. I think that is better than potentially making things uncomfortable with meeting up after or next to the dancing sessions.

greetz Bucc.

_________________
I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

Just an update for anyone interested//those who helped out::

First class went great, waited a few days, called and set up a little dinner outing for after our class this week. Things are looking good, thanks guys.

*Edit

Just saw the date on this thread, found it through google "PUA Ballroom"
How did things with this girl and dancing go?


A dance partner is absolutely invaluable.

Why not have her as a pivot? Don't worry about the "friend zone" just actually be her friend, and let her be yours. Albeit mildly flirty, and have a really valuable doorway open.

You know how when you have a girlfriend all of a sudden all her friends eye you? This is like that.. except you're actually available. In this situation you have all the draw of being the forbidden fruit without actually being forbidden!

Also it's such great social proof having a HB10 go with you out social dancing. If you can make a schedule of the local dance clubs (swing, blues, salsa etc. tend to be more social than ballroom, which is generally a couples, older folks, and competition thing) she'll appreciate you as an asset by adding to her social life. I did this with my former dance partner and she was constantly asking my permission to being her hot friends along. Of course


Delayed gratification, you have a wonderful opportunity to develop your lifestyle and skills. Girls really DO love a guy who can dance well. This is like taking a $100 now or investing that and getting a much bigger payoff.

Of course, she might just develop a thing for you, if so cool! But that shouldn't be your priority. Invest in your social circle and lifestyle man, trust me on this one. The reward is bigger than you can imagine.