A mate asked me a question on this and there was too much to say so I wrote it out here. Hope others can benefit from it. This is not for girls who are so ready (they've probably been visualising and fantasising about many scenarios) to lose their virginity that during your one night stand, they're like "GO FOR IT". This is for the other category of girls.
On taking a girl's virginity
1. Unless she asks for it, it's best not to have sex on the first day/date. Escalate somewhat, then leave it.
2. TALK TALK TALK. It's so important to talk to her about everything you are doing. This calms her nerves etc.
3. Once you have had the first date where you escalated sexually somewhat, but didn't have sex, you should organise a second date. Make it sweet, something personal to her, something intimate. There's no need to go over the top unless you want to. It could just be inviting her round to yours and watching a movie. You probably won't get through the movie. The movie. Never. Gets. Got through.
4. TALK TALK TALK. Before you plan this second date, talk about how she enjoyed your last sexual experience with her. If you didn't manage to get it sexual, just talk about how she enjoyed kissing you. This is the trick. E.g.
"So did you enjoy the last time we met?"
"Did you like the feeling when I kissed you?"
"Did you like it better when I stimulated your clit or went inside you?"
(note the escalation to soften the blow of the last question. Throw in weasel phrases if you want).
Once you've asked her how she enjoyed your last intimate experience, move onto your next one. Say something like (try to make it flow from the conversation):
"But wow you know, you're a virgin that's so cool. It's nice to keep that intact, though I guess everyone has to lose it at some time, now, it's just the moment you just to pick"
"Listen, I really enjoyed last time as well...is there a part of you that would like to explore further, given the right circumstances?"
Only ask that above question if the previous conversation has been positive. Also it helps to put her in a horny state first, hence the previous questions. It's highly unlikely she'll say no. Because you've jumped it on her, at the worst she'll give a cryptic answer. But most likely she'll say yes and then rationalise it to you, in other words, she'll say yes but tell you some things that need to be there in order for her to feel comfortable doing it with you. Listen carefully to that.
The main point of this talking process, however, is simply just doing YOURSELF a MASSIVE FUCKING FAVOUR. Because when you get to the lay location after the second date, it will make escalation and sex SO MUCH EASIER. Virginity is not something you just escalate to and blast through LMR. You plan it. IT's good to plan to lose one's virginity.
5. As per the escalation once she's back at yours, just do your usual thing. If in doubt, go for it. Don't bother trying to make a romantic opening or wait until the conversation becomes sexual. Just stop being a fucking pussy and go for it.
6. You're kissing etc, and things are hotting up. Basically, in any sexual encounter you should be having MASSUVE amounts of foreplay; but for losing her virginity, it's even more. The most important part of the foreplay is when you interact with her downstairs. I'm not going to go through stuff that you can read in sex books (do, the world will thank you for it). But, for fuck's sake, fucking make her pussy erect and make her really wet before you even consider entering with your cock.
Because she is a virgin, she will be really tight. A vagina gets stretchy the more you make her horny, so make sure you finger her sufficiently to get her stretchy but not so much that she is bored and dry.
7. When you think you've done your bit, ask her if she's ready and tell her to talk to you. I'm here to tell you fo fucking TALK TALK TALK but there's no one to tell her to TALK TALK TALK, so she won't know/won't have the confidence. Tell her to tell you how it feels like, how she wants it, what is good and what is bad.
8. Push your cock in slowly. Start missionary. Make sure you bring her hips right up to you - it's further to reach with your cock then it seems in all the seemless porn movies. Try not to bend her hips too far back or have her legs over your shoulder just yet, as this allows for deeper penetration and may be more painful at first. Just simple ol' missionary will do. Keep it slow, don't get carried away with the pounding - I know, it feels like your dick has finally come home, but don't get carried away.
9. Have fun! It's probably best to keep the first experience to a minimum in terms of time. If it's your first experience too, you probably won't have any trouble doing that
10. As a side point, if you are both very young, there's nothing wrong with asking her out/having an exclusive relationship first. Indeed, consider the point that some girls actually WANT this before sex, because they want their first time to be in a stable, meaningful relationship (although you could probably overcome that/provide that by other means anyway).
11. One more thing I remembered (there's going to be a lot of 'one more things' haha). If there's blood, don't be alarmed, just carry on thrusting so long as she isn't getting hurt. Blood is natural, though not every virgin bleeds (in my experience) when you fuck em. To this end, it's best to have a towel underneath where you guys are fucking, or something that is easy to clean up. The way she reacts to the blood will depend on the way you react. Keep your cool and keep pleasuring her and yourself.
As an extra, a LOT of guys have performance issues, and these vary in what sort of issues they are. Perhaps one of the most common is not being able to have an erect penis whilst using a condom.
There are long-term remedies for this, but I can't be bothered to go through them. In the short term, you have one of two possible choices.
The first is to get her to give you a blowjob (most guys who can't get it up with a condom can with a BJ for some reason), then quickly whip on the condom and go inside her. Once you're inside your cock will stay hard.
The second is to go in unprotected. I never recommend this, you should never ever do it, and you should assume you will get AIDS if you do. Still, that's not going to stop some of you, so, a few words on this. If you go in unprotected, you'll probably cum pretty early if you don't have much experience. When it comes to climaxing, unless priorly agreed, take your cock out a bit before and jack off on her. Don't let it wait until 'JUST' before, because all that will happen is that
your cock will come out and you'll cum some runny shit out and it won't feel that good. Just a personal tip for you
.
But yeah on the whole if you struggle to get it up, then don't be afraid to take charge and do it yourself. A lot of guys have their own 'way'/style/method of getting horny/erect, and it is difficult for girls to replicate this (especially if your style deviats from the norm). Most girls are shit at it anyway (especially with handjobs). Also, if you need to visualise porn to get yourself hard, do it. Especially when you haven't laid many girls before, you may find that you've just eaten her out and in the mean time your cock has gone limp. When it comes to actually coming sex, you suddenly realise your cock is not hard, and it's like...shit, i actually have to intentionally GET IT HARD. Not as easy as it sounds, sometimes.
I'm pretty fortunate, I don't have these issues. But if you do, there's some advice.
All the best and happy deflowering! The girl will never forget you, and you are in the process of creating a magical memory...for both of you
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Best,
R.Gamble x
CHAT
