Hi!

Ok, I am totally new here but I would really appreciate any advice on this!

I will race through these details otherwise this post will be m-a-s-s-i-v-e, plus I don't know for sure which ones are important...

OVERVIEW:

- I met a girl (through mates of mates) - we got on well but she had a BF. Only met her a couple of times but it went well, we got on.
- They have now broken up (he dumped her). Think they went out for a long time. Broke up a couple of weeks before Christmas.
- She had told me where she worked so I (finally) managed to track her down.
- I went in last week to try and get her number (details below)
- I am n00b / AFC - but I'm starting to wake up to that and sort it out.

Ok, so I went in to her work last week and the following happened:

LAST MEETING

- I walked up to her and touched her arm and opened with "Hi, I'm here to brighten your day". (It was a shitty day.)
- Last time we'd talked (just after they'd broken up it turned out) she had been systematically assassinating all my clothing in some kind of neg-pocalypse (because last time we had met I had been negging her - to the point where she kicked me!) so, I decided that I would get her to pick out some socks which were beyond her mockery (she works in a clothing outlet).
- We chatted about nothing for a bit while I made her laugh. That is my one existing weapon.
- After we'd selected them I said "Thank you for this, there must be some way to repay you.... like buying you a drink perhaps?"
- She seemed a bit nervous / embarrassed by that - she kinda went a bit red - even though she was still smiling.
- We then got interrupted by the fact we were at her work and some ugly people wanted to buy things.
- In a final move I purchased the socks and said "You know, your smile is highly addictive. Are you sure you don't want to come out?"
- She smiled and said "Maybe try again in the new year?".
- I said "Well that's a good sign... because that's only a few hours away! I'll be back." (it was NYE).
- It was then so obviously time to leave that I shot her a final smile and left.

MY THOUGHTS

I think we vibed quite well, she was smiling and laughing throughout. I think maybe it might be a bit soon after her breakup, but have no idea what to do about that.

SO

I am going back in. This Friday I think, unless people think that's too soon?

QUESTIONS

Any glaring errors from last time?
Any ideas for making next time more productive?
Any techniques for girls who have just gotten out of a (long) relationship?
Any techniques for that environment? (1on1 at their workplace)
Anything obvious I'm missing?

Thanks in advance

P.S. if I'm asking this is in the wrong place let me know!

Lol at: - She smiled and said "Maybe try again in the new year?".
- I said "Well that's a good sign... because that's only a few hours away! I'll be back." (it was NYE).

You mentioned the obvious there. Don't TRY to brighten her day or anything. An AFC takes advantage, in the end he will still end up as the shoulder for her to cry on. Do not, I repeat, do not go in immediately for the kill. She has to get over her ex now, she IS looking for someone to take care of her. But that someone will not end up as someone she wants, but as her friend. I would simply tell her, "Your bf still loves you. Go back and try again." When the ex bf comes up in any discussion, bail.

Are you saying give it more time - or just to give up?

Also, I don't get telling her her BF still loves her and she should go back to him - especially as it's not true as far as I'm aware. Or am I missing something there?

Anyone else agree / disagree?

I've noticed that woman who come off of relationships they are highly invested in do not reciprocate well to direct approaches. You would've been better off telling her something like "I'm heading to the bar, wanna join?" Makes you sound a lot less desperate to, your initial approach was simply "Will you have a drink with me?" which sets off her protective shields immediately. Unless you have enough attraction from the get go or higher status, she will most likely retract.

All in all, don't get hung up over 1 PU, remember it's all just a numbers game.

I also wouldn't have asked her twice consecutively, women have desperation radars that rival Russian Spy satellites.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Ok thanks - that all makes sense. I have only tried / asked once so far, haven't gone back in yet, so I will leave it for a bit / lot longer than I was going to. But I'm not giving up because - rightly or wrongly - I am strangely optimistic and want to try again! The worst that happens is she tells me to fuck off

Thanks for the tip on being less direct - I think next time I go in I will say that I am doing X at Y and if she turns up then she turns up.