What should you do if a a girl asks about your family?

For the sake of discussion, let's say your family situation isn't exactly a DHV (e.g. your parents are crazy or you don't have parents or you have 8 siblings, etc.). What do you do? Tell her a fabrication? Change the topic? Say something like "I don't talk about family"?

This is the kind of thing you can't weasel out of answering by going cocky & funny, because they will suspect you're trying to hide something.

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"I'd tell her to go shove her face in the pig pen, and go out and find another one who'll kiss you without askin for the earth. You're bound to find one. You can hardly throw half a brick back in the lands you come from without hittin one."
Stardust

A good way of getting out of this is to say, "It's kind of complicated, we should talk about it when we have more time for that. But what about your family?" You can also do such "nothing-isms" like "Oh man, I love my family, but they drive me crazy, you know?" and then turn it on her. Also, don't bring up family unless she does first, it's a potential minefield, as you probably know.

You can tell her that your mom's dead or your dad's estranged, but it will definitely change the mood. It's best for later. You can even frame it like, "We're having such a good time, we should save that for when we're in the mood not to have fun".

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31 and still figuring it out.

Having good family values never hurts with women. Never. Talking about family, you should be sincere. Tell her you love them all to death. She's asking for a reason, why blow it off like she asked what your favorite tv show is.

Even if you have to lie about your family a bit, it's none of her business anyway. Tell her you'd do anything for them. Thats huge brownie points with women. It shows loyalty and reliability.

Now...i've seen a few people i know use family complications as the sympathy card...but i dont recommend this.

Screw that, I shouldn't have to lie that my mother left me as a child and I shouldn't have to try to dress it up or talk about it with someone I barely know either. THIS is why we'd rather avoid the issue, not because we love our family to death. Hereditary insanity is also not a first date conversation.

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31 and still figuring it out.

Thanks minsok, I'm glad you understand this is dangerous territory.

If your family is messed up beyond a certain amount, you can't tell the girl, at least not at first. Because most girls have been warned to stay away from men that have messed up families, it's right up there with "Don't walk down dark alleys alone at night" and "Don't meet strangers from the internet at their homes". If you say something like "my dad's in prison" she thinks "rapist", you say "I never knew my parents" she thinks "serial killer", and so on and so forth.

I agree that we should generally steer clear, but sometimes they persist!

Too much lying is probably not good for your inner game, and it also causes serious problems if you plan on entering a LTR later.

I wonder if we can get away with a blanket comment like "No talking about politics, war, what jobs we have, families, or hobbies. Let's keep it fun!"

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"I'd tell her to go shove her face in the pig pen, and go out and find another one who'll kiss you without askin for the earth. You're bound to find one. You can hardly throw half a brick back in the lands you come from without hittin one."
Stardust

if she asks

'they're good people'


follow with

"im not sure i'd let you meet them though"


hur durrrr


be funny. this ain't a big deal.

Yeah, you can't be too evasive, or she'll think you're hiding something. Mine isn't too bad, but it's a mark against me that my parents divorced and I don't even know if my mom is dead or what. I think it's socially acceptable to say, "That's not the happiest subject for me, we'll have to get to know each other better first." Or just, "That's really not a first date conversation for me. Oh, have you seen Inception (change the subject)?" If she persists after that, she's a social retard. You may still lose points, but it's better then scaring her off right away. Maybe, "We're just starting out here, I don't want to scare you off."

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31 and still figuring it out.

i think minsok got it right. if u think its gunna put a damper on the mood just find a way to change the subject. leave that stuff until you two are actually serious enough for it to not matter.