What to SAY to EX when RECONTACT?



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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 1:50 pm 
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this is the message i'm intending to write her:

Hi (name) !!

What time has passed :) how are you doing? I hope you had a good time at home like me! I had some stuff those times, both positive and negative :DD What about you?

Ill be going out with my new colleagues soon, if you want to join and have a good time, you are welcome ;))

write me something! or better on SPAM when i'm online (you dissapeared overthere!:pp)

hug


just wondering if its ok to write about the SPAM thing... i have some DHV (job and college offers, stuff with friends,.. but want to tell her in person)


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:47 pm 
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Anyone?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:26 pm 
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Let it go dude.. If she broke up with you let her re contact you.. Otherwise you'll be swimming upstream.. Which isn't exactly impossible it's just a hella load of word. There's plenty of better girls out there to use ya strong feelings for. I just left my girlfriend an felt bad after days of her crying for me back, so I contacted her an got blown off..

Like the first dude said, let it go..

Hang out with your buddies

Fuze


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 6:26 pm 
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Don't send 2 questions in one text. If she doesn't text You back don't send two messages in 48 hrs. Remember, no xx's and oo's, no emoticons. Keep Your messages shorter than hers when she replies and always let her be the one who sends last message. This rules won't make you sound needy.
Quote:
write me something! or better on SPAM when i'm online (you dissapeared overthere!:pp)
Drop this line. If You ask her or demand from her to text You back this makes You sound needy. You need to have "I don't give a fack about You" attitude.
Quote:
if you want to join and have a good time, you are welcome
I'd change this to "You should come if You like some good fun.". Saying "You are welcome" sounds bit wussy to me. Though I can be wrong.

@Fuze
Hell, this sure is hard part. I mean... getting out of a damage zone but I got this "Try to do the impossible" attitude when I think about picking up. Though my skills aren't really high but I'm improving greatly I guess (hell, picked up some girl on New Year's Eve party at my house :P). If he really wants her back then why the hell not? It just needs different approach and he needs to take it "cold". I'd advise, if one's still driven by strong emotions to his ex then he should take a longer break and try it after few months.

It's hard but not impossible.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:37 pm 
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Don't bring up emotions, or the past. At the same time, don't try to act all fake by trying to sneak by like a wuss opening her up with something as, "Hey what's up?" or "Guess what happened."

Be more direct and say, "Hey -name-. It's been a long time, you're a special girl and.." You see, that is BALANCED. It's not bringing up the past and telling to her how much you missed her or any of that crap, and at the same time it's not 100% casual.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:42 pm 
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Quote:
Don't bring up emotions, or the past. At the same time, don't try to act all fake by trying to sneak by like a wuss opening her up with something as, "Hey what's up?" or "Guess what happened."

Be more direct and say, "Hey -name-. It's been a long time, you're a special girl and.." You see, that is BALANCED. It's not bringing up the past and telling to her how much you missed her or any of that crap, and at the same time it's not 100% casual.
maybe something as

hey X. what a long time. Just wanted to know how you are, you know i care about you..

in this lines?

thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:55 pm 
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You don't need to be that direct with her (feeling wise). The moment that you even say something to her, she'll automatically know you care in her subconscious mind. The first part is good, but you don't need to tell her how you feel about her. Don't say "What a long time" either, it makes it sound like you're saying it with caution or spontaneously out of thin air. Instead say it more directly as, "Hey X, it's been a long time..you're a special girl, hows it been?"

She's going to be thinking about the past no matter what. Trying to make it casual will make it awkward because her mind will be set on the past. Bringing up the past shows will make it awkward again because the truth is it's been a long time, you don't have to come out of nowhere by first bringing up the past. Let her bring up the past and go with it, don't try to avoid it if she brings it up. You have to talk to her based on what her mind is on and she has to directly let you know because even if you do know what's on her mind and you bring it up first, it will make it awkward. You're the one coming back for her, the ball is in her court now. If she tells you something that's rejecting, you have two choices. Play it off cool and leave as if you understand (letting her know that) OR staying there without saying a word to her just to enforce your position. If you leave and she doesn't do anything, leave it at that, come back later but without saying a word to her the second time.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:09 pm 
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IMO saying to her that she's special gives her higher value over PUA and it makes him sound needy.
Personally, I wouldn't recommend it.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:28 pm 
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Nyseto

don't forget another option

not rejecting you out of politiness, just to be "friends".

I have adjusted my message a bit. I think i'll follow Mav- on the "special" part, and drop it. The fact that i write her after no contact period should be enough for her to know how "special" she is for me.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:56 pm 
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True and when she rejects and you leave, it will make you appear as not needy. What you say is one thing, what you do is another. Ok, you give the girl value by saying she's special and if she rejects you and you play it cool and leave, it gives her the mixed signal.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:47 pm 
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in the line of the facebook tricks to make ex-GF jealous (or not, lol) i've been thinking of this:

1. Create a girl profile with nice image (not too arty of course).
2. Set up the perfect privacy settings so non-friends can't see anything of information (otherwise they would obviously see that "girl" has only 1 friend - me, hehe)

3. let her post on your wall, etc... (DID this some times)

4. THIS is what i now want to TRY:
Let this fake girl send a message to your ex, saying something like this:
"hey X, i don't know you but i've been talking with Y (=me) sometimes and he's such a fun guy. But i dont know , you guys seem to be together if i see the pictures of you two on facebook.. i don't want to ruin things if any, so therefore i ask if you two are seeing eachother, dating?, thank you"


- what do you guys think? Obviously she will say "no, we're not together". But the point is that she MIGHT get jealous from it...

After this, i would RECONTACT her (i did NOT up till now, 3 weeks now and counting).


Is there the danger the girl would GUESS this profile is fake, and its me sending that message?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:27 pm 
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Quote:
in the line of the facebook tricks to make ex-GF jealous (or not, lol) i've been thinking of this:

1. Create a girl profile with nice image (not too arty of course).
2. Set up the perfect privacy settings so non-friends can't see anything of information (otherwise they would obviously see that "girl" has only 1 friend - me, hehe)

3. let her post on your wall, etc... (DID this some times)

4. THIS is what i now want to TRY:
Let this fake girl send a message to your ex, saying something like this:
"hey X, i don't know you but i've been talking with Y (=me) sometimes and he's such a fun guy. But i dont know , you guys seem to be together if i see the pictures of you two on facebook.. i don't want to ruin things if any, so therefore i ask if you two are seeing eachother, dating?, thank you"


- what do you guys think? Obviously she will say "no, we're not together". But the point is that she MIGHT get jealous from it...

After this, i would RECONTACT her (i did NOT up till now, 3 weeks now and counting).


Is there the danger the girl would GUESS this profile is fake, and its me sending that message?
Anyone? about to send this, but i'm not fully sure, so objective point of view would be more then welcome.!


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