I'm very interested in PU point of view on love.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_U6mWu1XQA[/youtube]


sorry couldn't resist...

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ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

Chemical reaction in the brain . If you're really interesting in such thing I recommend to read H. Fisher 'Why we love'. It's explains everything deeply

I actually thought the OP would post the vid, but it eventually ended up in the replies. Lol.

Love is ..... when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and you find out you still care for that person.

or Love is the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.

I use both as responses if a girl asks me what love is (they're both witty and not overly complex like some people would make it if they were asked by a girl). However, the first one is pretty much the solid definition of love. Why do all poems and movies and love-related things mention pain and hurt? Love is that feeling you get when you didn't realize what you had until it was gone. Love is when the girl you want isn't yours for numerous reasons: she's with someone else, you were a jerk to her, etc. and you still want her because you care for her. Think about it. When the girl is gone, you don't have the feeling, you don't have the passion, and you don't have the romance, she's just not tangible anymore. All your left with are memories that make you care about her. Love is when you are perfectly excused from being an AFC. You met a girl a long time ago. You showed DHV, you were the real shit, you appeared as you didn't care in the end. Then all of a sudden when you're in love you feel as if you're the biggest AFC ever (needy, clingy, etc.) but who cares about any of that! You already showed the girl you're DHV, when you met her you weren't an AFC. Love only thrives when someone is missing. If you are with that person and you are extremely clingy, then you really are an AFC but if that person is gone and you want them back badly (after a legitimate time together, not a bs relationship), you are not an AFC man, you're a human being.

Symptoms:
-going to bed earlier than usual to not have to think about it, barely falling to sleep
-waking up the next morning with her on your mind
-thinking about her every second
-feeling empty
-having a hard time focusing

And since we are not AFCs but only human when we're needy for someone who isn't there, basic PUA comes into play..Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

Let the normal feelings take over and forget about PUA when you're in love (when they're gone). Act as needy as you want, chase the girl as much as you want, you can do it until she runs away. Once this has happened, she is left thinking, "He really wants me, he loves me." What they say to you upfront like "I don't care" etc. is all bullshit, don't let that get to you. HER leaving you as a result of chasing will give her a good reason to come back because 1.) You really weirded her out that you love her and she will soon realize you do and 2.) she will realize she distanced herself from you too much so she will come back. The more you chase, the more she runs away, the more she will miss you in the future. It's called making an impact. I think that anyone who is in love and their partner isn't there should let it all out and chase because it will have a greater impact than just trying to shut it out and play it cool.

People play it off and act like they don't care when it's in the beginning. After a long time when they've known each other that stuff really doesn't work anymore. It goes to something called "chasing."AFC is only when you act clingy in the very beginning/while you're with the person. When the person is gone and you chase, it's perfectly obvious why you're doing so for them because of all the memories.

That made a lot of things clear. But I wonder if chasing itself in a ltr will cause her run away?

Chances are that chasing her after an ltr will make her run away. It happened to me. I left the girl for 8 weeks and came back for her. I eventually thought there was no other way to express myself. The approach of not caring was useless..the approach of staying cool was useless..so I just let it all out and expressed my love and I did that with tons of messages, new screen names, etc. She kept telling me to leave her alone, she kept blocking me, she came up with a lie that she already has a boyfriend..I'm just giving her the time and space now because I'm sure she'll come around.

If you chase and express your love, you will at LEAST make an impact on her because it's extreme. After an ltr, playing it off cool like you don't care doesn't really work anymore like it would when you just met her. You have feelings for her..she has feelings for you..you gotta do what you gotta do. You can only be AFC if you just meet a girl or if your already in a relationship with her by acting all desperate.

You may think that chasing her will make her dislike you even more and stuff. But when you go to the extreme and have an impact on her (making her block you, cuss you out, whatever..) it will set her mind to THINK about you constantly "Wow..that one crazy guy who says he loves me..does he really? Why is he so desperate?"

Key is to do your chase and let the love out, then sit back and relax.

-When you just met a girl and you are desperate, you are an AFC because you are AFRAID she will reject you.
-When you're with a girl and you are desperate, you are an AFC because you are AFRAID you won't be with her anymore. (Only exception to this is when she is afraid AS WELL like if you two were on Titanic or something).
-When the girl isn't there for you (after an ltr) and you are desperate, you are NOT an AFC, you're a human being. (only exception to this is if the girl leaves you.) In that case you just play it off cool and give her the freedom to do what she wants. If you get cheated on, it's not worth chasing after. Yes, love is about being hurt, but love is also about LIKING that person and WANTING them. Once you get cheated on, you may be hurt, but you will get that feeling of disliking them.


Love only thrives in the absence of your partner either if you KNOW it is because of what you did to her, or if she leaves you against her own will (death, relocation, college, etc.) As you can see, love isn't when you are getting along with her and everything runs smoothly unless that occurs after you got her back again after being in love. However, love can lead you to becoming an AFC. Let's say after you get her back again, you are clingy and still desperate because you are AFRAID you might lose her again. AFC is basically giving too much of a shit over something that hasn't happened.

Strange point of view, contradictory to what i read here.

Telling "i love you so much" after a LTR does more bad than good imo.

But saying "I love you so much" isn't enough. You have to really go overboard with it to create an impact no matter how much see tells you to leave her alone and stuff. The more you get her to react, the higher the chances that you can get her back. It's perfectly legitimate to say "I love you so much" after an LTR. You both know each other, have feelings for each other. Saying "I love you" isn't going to matter much while you're in an LTR with her, she'll just say the same thing back. It only has the biggest impact when you don't have her anymore..that's what will make her feel weird inside.

Now of course there are exceptions to when you should chase if you want her back. If she cheats on you or breaks up with you, you have no reason to chase. Chase only when you regret what you did or if she left you against her own will.

Think of it like this. Let's say the girl left you for someone else where you don't feel any regrets. You get mad, etc. but you keep your cool because you haven't done anything that makes you regret. Now that girl comes back after you and you play it off like you don't care anymore. What will increase your chances of accepting this girl? If A) she plays it off cool as well and "understands" you and leaves you, or if she B) breaks down and chases you to the point where you block her, anything that makes her feel bad. Option A) feels pretty fake as if she doesn't want me bad enough so she doesn't deserve me. Sometimes desperation can be your friend in the right situations.

In the movie Hitch, the guy runs after the girl and shakes his head in disapproval as she rejects him after an LTR and ends up jumping on her car and she knocks him over. See, that creates IMPACT on her emotionally. If he were to just stand there and apply the good old method of PUA, he wouldn't have gotten her.

I think that this whole PUA stuff is to teach us when to NOT listen to our feelings/emotions. There are situations where you have to handle them technically (as with this PUA stuff) and there are other situations where you have to listen to your feelings. Everything is about balance, imo I don't think it's all about moving on 100% of the time/not caring.

We don't take phrases like "I love you so much" out of existence, we only find a different time to apply them. Every phrase has its own situation where it actually works.

Nyseto

I think going overboard can easily come across as being stalkerish. If you're separated after an ltr, and want to get the girl back I would probably try to start building attraction all over again(but be careful with negs) about confort, probably let her talk about how much she missed me, and then go to seduction which will end at my place. In the morning play it cool and let her say how much she loves me, and tell that I missed "us" too. Get on a couple of casual dates which will hopefully either end in my place, or lead to the next date which will end at my place. My goal would be: As many lays as possible, as little conflicts as possible. This is supposed to make her reconsider the past relationship and to start over again. When I agree on important staff I usually act towards it as if itsn't a big deal, like
HB: I think it would be cool if we could start over.
Me: Yup I think that would work. *keep watching tv or doing whatever I'm doing*
IMHO this might work.

I'd love to hear other opinions.