I need some advice for my current situation - I decided to dumpster-dive with a girl I met online. She's very nice, but socially insecure, and I'd say she's about a 2 in looks. But paradoxically, her ASDs are at incredible levels. I guess this is hamster rationalisation - that her lack of male attention isn't because she's ugly, it's because she's prim and proper. Our first meeting was for coffee and because we'd met online I didn't want to push things, but she was obviously very interested. Second meeting this evening, we saw a movie and then went for dinner (I got her to pay) but when I went for the kiss-close she kissed, but then pulled away and said "no tongue." I managed not to laugh. I thought the best thing to do was act aloof and wrap the date up pretty swiftly.

How do I lower this girl's defenses and get her into bed ASAP? It's harder than you would think because her self-value is obviously very low (some of the self-pitying things she says really make me feel bad for her). Do I need to run anti-game here or what?

Postscript: She just texted me "Not sure what i did to you but thanks for a nice evening anyways." I replied "Did to me? I don't understand." (I very much do understand, of course, but I'm playing dumb).

Advice would be much appreciated.

Why do you want a 2?

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One cannot lose what one has never had.

You have to start somewhere. I am new to this and bad at it. But practice makes perfect.

That wasn't ASD. that was an insecure newbie chick fumbling around an awkward moment with an insecure newbie guy who was trying to go all porno on her.

This may be a shocker but not everyone likes having a tongue shoved down their throat and if you are this much of a beginner my guess is shoving is what you were trying to do.

I know a few chicks that would rather take it up the ass than have a tongue shoved into their mouth right off the bat.

Here's how you get passed this. go out and meet more women and go on more dates and just live and learn. It's just like any other game, the more you play the more you learn and more natural things become.

i'm probably a doofus, but i don't even understand what that comment "what i did to you" is supposed to mean? what did she mean by that? i'm curious...

i'm sure you can do better than a 2 man....


also, this isn't going to be very good practice. HBs act way different than uggos.

HE NEEDS SOME HELP ON HIS CURRENT SITUATION. Stop giving him useless information guys! lol jeez.

Hey man, so the best way I know of getting rid of girls insecurities is to straight up bring it up when your close and things are heating up. Tell her " Ok, so theres no way you are about to be insecure with me right now about anything. You are going to feel comfortable with me no matter because I said its going to be ok." Now she is going to put up some resistance, but keep pushing through and let her know that whatever your touching or looking at or anything is going to be okay and keep reassuring her of this.

Eventually she will give in and be completely comfortable because she's never been able to express those insecurities to anyone because she always hides it. As soon as you can just show her everything will be okay, then itll be okay. The girl OBVIOUSLY wants everything to be ok so as long as you reassure it in her mind, youll get in those pants. This is all a psychological mind game with women. Its a very interesting thing. Hope this helps at least a little.

BTW dude, you should know that a lot of the techniques talked about are geared towards more attractive women. For example, you can't neg an ugly girl. (I tried it once on a fat girl and she got angry and started crying about being bullied as a child and said something like "yeah let's all make fun of the fat girl")

Which brings me to another point: Know that ugly chicks, in particular fat chicks, often come with issues. Also, it's not necessarily the case that she'll be easier just because she's not good looking, which may be your problem: You're pushing too fast without bothering to escalate properly because you think you don't need to.

Tease her gently, don't neg too hard, don't let her push you around, she should lighten up.

By the way, remember to leave the girl better than you found her, don't get her to talk about all her insecurities and open up to you, only to dump her after you have sex. If you just want sex, it's probably best to make her understand ASAP that you're not a shoulder to cry on. So next time she starts crying to you, say something like "we've been talking for 10 minutes and you're already telling me all your problems". This will also prevent you getting into the friend zone.

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"I'd tell her to go shove her face in the pig pen, and go out and find another one who'll kiss you without askin for the earth. You're bound to find one. You can hardly throw half a brick back in the lands you come from without hittin one."
Stardust

Zach - fireball - thank you for your advice.