You know what was great actually? I did it for fun, and it was fun. I was loving doing it.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Thanks for your support.

Once again, you're right. I can't learn how to walk with failing. Yet, I'll focus on having fun while learning: the pressure will drop.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 7: Reflexion on my decision to join the community.
Having no choice.

Hi guys! First of all, merry Christmas!
Then, THANK YOU for following my journey from AFC to PUA. I've seen that this thread is now marked as popular in the forum. Great!

Since the weather was pretty bad yesterday (snowing all day long), I did not go out. Yet, I wanted to post something, I thought I could reflect about a major question: why did I decide to learn about picking-up? I've already spoken about my break-up in my DAY 0 post, so I won't come back to this story, even if it obviously played a role in my decision. Nevertheless, it is interesting to compare what I want and what I've realized after ending a 2 years relationship.

Important: In the long term, I do want to have a family and a loving wife. I know some PUA don't give a sh*t about that (for now certainly). Yet, what follows is based on my personal long term goal.

What I've realized.
- Waiting for "the one" is silly.
=> I cant' wait, I have to go get her. Even if stumble upon her, I've no idea on how to be attracting, I'll just f**k it up by showing her my interest like an AFC.
- Needyness is painful.
=> I'm tired of feeling needy, it hurts my feelings, lowers my self-esteem and kills my game. I have to meet more woman and keep options even if I am in a relationship.
- LTR needs skills too.
=> Keeping someone you love and keeping loving someone is hard. It's all about keeping your value high.
- Most people end up with one of their past relationship.
=> In the end, most people get married to one of their ex. I have to keep contact with them.
- Most people end up with someone because they have no choice.
=> When it's time to settle, some people do not really have the choice about their wife. They settle because it's time to settle and because they're scared of being alone. They end up in a relationship they do not really want: it's boring, no sex at all, ... I do not want that. I want to truely chose "the one".

What I want.
- I want to improve myself: be more confident about who I am, be a man, be able to handle everything.
- I want to be able to attract the women I want.
- I want to have an attractive lifestyle.
- I'm 23. I want to find the woman of my life in the next 10 years.

If I want to achieve my goals, I have no choice. I have to improve my game, it is the only solution for me. Being an AFC, telling a girl you love her, spoiling her... is the best way to fail and to end up alone.

What I do not want.
- I don't want to f**k just to f**k. I would like to have a valuable relationship behind and be friend. I'm okay with casual relationship as long as I succeed in managing expectations.
- I don't want to be alone anymore.

This is what I came up with after reflecting on what I want and what do I have to improve. Maybe some of you can relate to that. Others can't. Please, don't hesitate to challenge me or give me you views on that.

Looking forward for having your reactions on that.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I have bad AA. I have been working on this for a long time. I just wanted to say the post's you have really helped me out. I closed on an HB 7, not that I haven't been with a HB 7 before but that I met this one and in 20 mins she was begging me to take her home. I have been told that i am good looking by tons of HB 6's 7's and 8's and even a couple 9's but have the worst AA ever. I could never even approach a random HB 5 before i found PUA. The thing that helped the most was going out and just saying hi to HB 7's and not even trying to close. I am far from a PUA but am working my way there slowly. I just wanted to let you know how much this thread has helped me recently because it seems like the AA will never go away i just have to deal with it.
When you try something and fail, It just means you have something to learn from. By failing and learning from it put's you 5 steps ahead of 80% of men out there who know they want a better life but do nothing about it. Thanks again

I Suggest you switch to doing the stylelife challenge.

You seem to be struggling with hesitation, the stylelife challenge lets you slowly build up(over 30 days) and ease into the full pickup(you can do whatever you want along the way)

I think the first day is just say hi to random strangers, then talk about random stuff to random strangers the next and so on!

I don't know just thought it'd be good for you since you are lacking the inner game to push yourself but you know exactly what you need and can analyze it well.

Glad to know I help you out! And you're right about failing. You get experience by not getting what you want Don't hesitate to do a field report, I would like to know a little more about your journey... how did you close for example.

Cheers and thanks for reacting zx6rider

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Thank you Hobbit.

I knew that I had to know what I truely want to go on in my self-development journey.
I'm already setting up goals since DAY 4. For example: approching 10 women and try to close at least 1 by the end of the day. I would like to carry on but these days are really slow because of Christmas.
In addition to that kind of goals (approaching), I was thinking about working on friends and friends of friends. I would like to focus on conversation. Don't get me wrong, I can be pretty social, but I would like to be better at building frames, seeing IOI, KINO... and I think I'll learn quicker with people I know since I don't have to approach (it will help me out on closing when approaching).
Sure!
DAY 4: Approaching 10 women and try a number close
=> approached 2 teenagers and no number close...
DAY 5: Try at least one number close (not a good goal in second thought)
=> approached 5 people (3 interesting one) and succeeded in one number close (my game was really weak).
DAY 8: Approaching 5 interesting women and hold conversation with eye-contact and KINO. (good goal?)
=> we'll see!
I'm reading/learning a lot to strengthen my inner game. I do believe I have the balls to do it, I'm comfortable with myself... In case of doubt (needyness related to recent break up), the community helps me (thanks!). What I need is practice! Yet I understand, if I lose the inner game, I lose everything. I think this learning journal will help me on that. In the end, my self improvement journey is all about Inner Game. Outer Game will come naturally after that.

Thanks for you reaction Hobbit, I'll read the thread about the Inner Game.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Why not! It can be good to have a path to follow instead of figuring it out. By the way, you're right, I need to keep going, but saying "hi" does not teach me much after all... I'm already able to say "hi" and ask for direction or whatever. What I do not know is how to really engage a conversation and hold it (I'm really good at it with friends since I'm funny and all but not with stranger). I'll work on that tomorrow I guess.

I've been learning PUA stuff since early November, and practicing since almost 10 days. I need more opportunities to experience and move on.

Thanks for reacting, I'm grabing a copy of the Rules of the Game.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 8: Reflexion on frustration
F for frustration: a call for modesty

I've realized something today, and I wanted to share it with because I'm sure a lot of guys who are learning PUA material might be in the same situation.

Getting fresh air.
Today was a slow day. Since it's Sunday and I live in France, there was no mall open. Yet I wanted to go out, so I went to a place where I'm sure to meet people: the Eiffel Tower (the Trocadero to be precise) and the Champs-Elysées. I was hoping I could speak to some tourists. Since I did not prepare it, I would not call that an in field experiment: I got out to have some fresh air and did not set any goals.



On my way to the train station, I started to bring the energy with me, I ask to a guy if he needed some help. Later, in the subway, I gave a hand to 4 Italian tourists trying to make their way to the Champs-Elysées (in English of course).

The Trocadero syndrome.
When I finally arrived at the Trocadero (esplanade in front of the Eiffel Tower), I started looking around me to see if there were opportunities of opening a set. There were a lot of people and 2 or 3 windows of opportunities quickly closed just in front of me. The weather was cold... and I began to be frustrated. Little by littel, my mood went down. I was not smiling anymore, I was thinking... thinking about all that years wasted being an AFC, thinking about me doing nothing at the moment, thinking about my needyness, thinking about all these stupid guys with HB... That's what I now call the Trocadero syndrom. I was so frustrated about myself that it killed every opportunity of action.
You've understood it, this is very weird since the solution to that syndrome is to take action. Yet, it's a vicious circle. Not only I'm less able to take action while frustrated, but even if I do take action, I have more chances to fail because of my frustration... and failing is even more frustrating...

The real key to that problem is to kill frustration in general. You see, the problem is frustration brought me to the Game, and it is a bad thing I think. Yes, my frustration combined to my ambition make me eager to learn, but it also makes me aggressive and frustrated when I'm not satisfied with result. I should be more relaxed, cooler about all this.

According to Vin Di Carlo, male attraction comes from his "dominance", in other words, in his capacity to be in control, to have a fullfilled life. Here, frustration shows clearly the opposite.

What I've learned.
- I'm an AF²C: too much frustration! frustration about me, frustration about seeing stupid teenagers with HB, ...
- I'm too anxious about PU: the Game is not an option to me, I have no choice. My frustration brought me to the Game but it can also bring me out of it.
- I want to go too fast. My inner game is not strong enough! (you were right guys, at this point, I can't afford losing focus on my inner game)

Questions to move on.
- How to kill my global frustration?
- How to be cool about all this?

Still a long way to go guys! Sorry but it might take longer than expected to speak about f-close... Yet, stay tuned! My adventures in Brazil will come soon!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

hey afc daniel, i like the way you journal is set out, easy to read and broken down into sections.

a lot easier to read that mine anyway!


peace man x

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

DAY 9: back to basics.
Back to Disney.

Hi guys. Today, I've been to the same mall from DAY 4 and DAY 5. Then I went to Disney Village (cool place next to Disney's Park with bars, stores and more). Once again, I was by myself.



My goals.
Since I realized that my inner game was not so strong, I've decided to set up easy goals to get back on tracks without pressure. I wanted to fight the Trocadero symptome (see DAY 8 ).
- approach at least 5 people

Meditation.
Before getting to the mall, I've done some meditation. To be honnest with you, I thought meditation was bullsh*t, yet Hobbit advised me to do 5 min of meditation in order to relax and kill my frustration. 5 min? That's a long time, but actually, once you close your eyes and focus on your respiration, it's not so long. Is meditation useful? YES. I was really cooler today, no frustration and the bad thoughts went directly away. Thanks Hobbit for this good advice. I hope it will help me to less lunatic.

Going there.
First of all, I had to go to the post office to pay for the fee for my Brazilian visa. I had to wait for soo long, but I was quiet proud of me since I've been patient I did not let that affect my mood. F*CK YEAH.
- While I was waiting for the bus, I started a conversation with a guy that was also waiting with her girlfriend
=> 3 or 4 sentences, eye-contact good, smile good.
- I also engaged a kid that was waiting too.
=> 2 sentences, small eye-contact, smile OK.
- At the station, I was in an elevator when a guy got in. He looked pissed off so I asked him if he was having a bad day. He was a little surprised but told me everthing was fine.
=> 4 or 5 sentences, no eye-contact, ironic smile.

On the first stage.
- I just arrived at the station, I got off the train and saw a beautiful HB8 with a beautiful ass. I'm following her, once we were on the way for the mall, I asked her if there was a Sephora in it and how to get there. Actually, she turned out to be a HB7. She was listenning to her MP3 Player so I ejected. I should have done more, on second thought, I could have keep the conversation going...
=> 3 or 4 sentences, eye-contact ok (could be better), smile ok (could be better), NO KINO! (damn)
- 45 min after seeing a lot of HB and maintening eye-contact with them while passing by, I asked a receptionnist for direction.
=> 3 sentences, eye-contact ok, smile ok, KINO impossible (behing a desk)
- later, I quickly asked an blond HB8 where she got her waffle.
=> 2 sentences, no eye-contact, no kino, no smile.

On the second stage.
I went to Disney Village right after. I wanted to approach a Cast Member. Since I once worked at Disneyland, I was hoping to keep the conversation going.Yet I had no opportunity except approaching 3 Spanish HB7/8. I whish I had but I did not, I killed the opportunity because they were smocking (I don't like that). I could have spoken Spanish though. Little after, I went back home.

In the end, how I felt.
Great, I felt great. My inner game was "in a good day". I've noticed a LOT of girls holding eye-contact with me while passing by. I felt they wanted me to be a man and do what I have to do to get them. But I'm still not ready for that unfortunately. Furthermore, I really enjoyed having a sexual tension inside of me, that was amazing. This time, no frustration but a positive sexual tension that was feeding my ego. I definitely have to keep that state of mind and that tension in me!

What I need to strenghten.
Yet, even if I've achieved my modest goal, I have to keep on working on some basic points.
SHORT TERM:
1) APPROACHING MORE: I'm clearly not approaching enough girls, I know I can do better. I have to have the balls to take every opportunities.
2) KEEPING THE CONVERSATION GOING: I'm always ejecting in less than 4 sentences! I have to stay and speak!
3) EYE-CONTACTING: I have to always make clear eye-contact when approaching.
4) SMILING: I have to train myself to automatically smile when approaching.
MID TERM:
5) BEING COCKY&FUNNY: I have to make her remember me!
6) KINOING: I have to touch her! Touching her arm when I'm laughing, ...

Next steps & goals.
Being sarging by myself is tiring. That's why I invited a friend to come with me tomorrow. He's not in the PUA stuff, he actually does not know that I am learning. I have to find a way to practice anyway... I don't feel like approaching with him...
- approach at least 5 HB
- focus on the conversation: more than 4 sentences. (point 2)
- keep eye-contact (point 3)
- smile (point 4)

My state of mind was good today, if I have an even better one tomorrow, I think I can achieve great things. Let's be positive!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 10: seeing some friends.
Getting motivation and being tired.

Back to the mall and Disney Village.
Yesterday, I went back to the same good mall, but this time I was with a friend of mine who just came back from India. Since he was not in the PUA thing, I decided to chill out a little and do not practice on HB today. Indeed, it would have felt weird to approach a single girl with a friend... She would have feel oppressed. So we just went to the restaurant and did some shopping. Later, he had to go but another friend joined me at the very same mall. We had a coffee and started to speak about women and the Game.



We decided then to leave the mall to go to Disney Village where we had dinner in Billy Bob's Saloon. Once again, we spoke a lot about PUA stuff and agreed on everything. It really gave me motivation to keep on with my journey.

Sleeping problems.
As I told you, my journey is exhausting. Putting yourself outside every day and trying to push your limits is hard. Hope I'll succeed to get a wingman by the time I'll leave Paris for São Paulo. That would help me a lot. Indeed, the truth is, I much more affected by this journey that I thought I would be. I've been having troubles to sleep for about 1 month. I usually go to bed at 11/12pm, but recently, I've started to wake up early (8am), sometimes very early (5/7am). Once I woke up, I can't manage to sleep anymore. More strange, I usually wake up suddenly, like I was having a nightmare or something. I guess I'm putting a lot of pressure on me currently. I really have to learn how to manage my emotions, and how to be more relaxed. So here I am, 5 am, writing a post about all this.

AFC Daniel out, I have to try to sleep.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

_________________

"We Go Truly Hard, Styles Like Julia"-Hoodie Allen

Hey HappySlip!
I am not giving up, don't worry!
I think it's normal to get frustrated a little, I mean I'm steal an AFC! But I understand what you're saying and you're right about it. The problem is, I go out to sarge. I should indeed go out for a true reason and then take the opportunity to practice the Game. It's less pressure, more pleasure. Yet, I want to go FAST. I'm leaving to Brazil in February and I want to be able to approach and take it. So I can't wait for friends of wait to have a true reason to go out.
lol, that would be good indeed to have a new activity to meet new people. I'll think about that.
Once again, it's a great advice. Yet, I have no family in France, and since I was in a 2 year relationship, only a few friends to connect with. That's also one of my problem right now. But you're right... I'll do what it takes to go out with a purpose.
Again, you're right man. But as I told you I want to learn fast to be prepared for Brazil. And actully, I might end up with no result if I stay in that logic. From now on, I'll try to think about me FIRST and then about PU. Today I'm going to exchange a perfume somebody offered me for christmas, I also have to go the post office again... the Game can't be my life (best way to fail) but "all around it".

Cheers.

Thanks for reacting.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 11: opening and focusing on conversations.
A letter, a fragrance, and a text-message.

A letter.
I'm exhausted today. As I told you I got up at 5am and did not manage to sleep after... Yet, I had to post a letter so I went to the post office in the early afternoon. While I was in the line, I engaged a conversation with an old woman and focused on keeping it going.
=> 5/6 sentences
=> Eye-Contact: OK
=> Smile: OK

A fragrance.
I had to exchange a fragrance somebody's offered me for christmas so I went to Sephora and asked the HB8 who works there to give me a female opinion on something. I chose two frangrance and asked her which one she prefered. I managed to keep the conversation for 6 minutes and left.
=> 7/8 sentences
=> Eye-Contact: OK
=> Smile: OK
=> C&F: OK
=> KINO: NO

A text-message.
I was in the train and saw 2 girls getting in. One of her, an HB7,5 was holding eye-contact. The train started and kept on looking at her. I waited for the next station and went to open them.

MY PLAN:
ME: Hi guys, would one of you send for me a little text message to a friend? My phone does not have battery.
SHE: Okay bla bla
ME: Could you send "I'll be there in 5 minutes. Daniel"
SHE: What's the number?
ME: *Giving her my number*
SHE: Ok I sent it...
ME: *My phone ringing* Okay seems like I got your message...
SHE: what?
ME: I got you, I'm sorry but I wanted your number and do not have the time blabla...
SHE: laughing...
ME: That's good, you have a sense of humour... bla bla bla

IN REALITY:
ME:Hi guys, would one of you send for me a little text message to a friend? My phone does not have battery.
SHE: I don't have credits...
ME: [damn!] Oh okay...
SHE: [staring at me like I was a weirdo]
ME: Do you mind if I sit here?
SHE: no (moving her purse)
ME: ... [waiting for the next station]
THEY: [resuming conversation]
ME: have a nice one [ejecting]

=> 3/4 sentences
=> EYE CONTACT: GOOD when opening, POOR after answer.
=> SMILE: OK
=> C&F: NO
=> KINO: NO

How I feel.
Actually good, I really enjoyed to do all that. Even the last 2-set was interesting since I had the balls to open two girls in the train among the other passengers. I definitely learned a lot today.

What I've learned.
- I have to always have a back-up opener.
- I have to work more on conversations.
- I can handle failure/rejection.
- I learn a lot more from failures.
- I have to learn to pass all the shit tests!

That's all folks!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)