Basically, this girl was interested in me when we first met and I wasn't interested in her. Having gotten to know her, I am now interested but I suspect I may be friend-zoned because of all the opportunities to take things further that I passed on and all the conversations we've had; she's talked to me about her ex, relationships ect.
I'll be seeing her on New Year's Eve (she's on holiday at the moment) at a New Year's party so, I figured I'd just kiss her as soon as I saw her, act as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened and transition straight into asking her how her holiday went. Is this a good idea? If not, any suggestions as to what I should do?

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One cannot lose what one has never had.

Aw fuck. Talking about her past relationships? And you sat through that shit? Your not her emotional toilet where she can throw up your emotions at you for you to clean up. Hope you didn't sit through it. I reall hope you didn't.


I have good news, though. She used to like you. To get out of said potential friend zone, just cut contact with her for a couple weeks. You can meetup at this party, but no more. I would say don't push the kiss until you have attraction, and when you talk after the disconnection, be different from how you were. Make sexual jokes. Show your different and more than a friend. Start from there. Tell me how it goes'

Peace.

Haha, unfortunately, I did sit through it - at that point I just wanted to be her friend and was trying to discourage her interest in me as anything more than that.

So, when I'm at the party, should I begin going for the sexual undertone in the things I'm saying? Or should my gaming begin afterwards (and after the disconnection)? There'll be quite a few people at the party that I know so I'm sure I could avoid her and get rid of her if she sought me out.

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One cannot lose what one has never had.

only thing you can really do would be cut contact for atleast two weeks.

theres this girl at work i really got the hots for, we had a rocky patch at the start but after a while we became friends. then one day she was tossing me iois but shes got a bf of 2 years. so i tried to play it smooth and never get friend zoned but keep convos goin and i was doin good until one day... we talked first thing in the morning for a long time and it seemed to kill all the tension there was during our convos. i FELT the zone. it was awful. i even got a "looooove you" that she does to all her close friends. by golly i got the fuck out of there. shrugged her off everytime she talked to me, now she hates me. moral of the story. dont be an idiot like me.

I agree with do not go for the kiss until you gain attraction. The kiss then has the ability to move onto other things sexual which I am assuming is your objective.

This attraction can be created in a few ways:

- move to a more cocky funny (and sexual) person towards her, thus creating some of the attraction that has been lost with the friend membrane starting to grow
- pull back and go for the 2 weeks off/pull off throttle as already suggested. This will create scarcity and can lead to attraction or reverse things.

My recommendation:
- back off the throttle
- diversify and start focusing on other outstanding leads or create more leads if you're low
- kick ass in another area of your life just to prove to yourself you can do anything you want whenever you want. This will also stimulate confidence and celebrity, both of which bring in leads and contribute to your value in the marketplace--thus making her desire you more as you create progress elsewhere

That's my two cents.

I will add that in my opinion you likely have lost this one already as to pull back from the depth of 'friend' you have earned in this situation is both difficult and not usually worth it. Move on, fill your funnel from elsewhere.

Best of luck!

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Whether you think you CAN or CAN'T, you're right!