hi,

I am new to pick up but have been doing a lot of research and have since discovered that i may have the worst possible case of oneitis. It all started about 6 or 7 years ago with this girl in highschool. everything was awesome, we talked on the phone constantly i was her shoulder to cry on and i thought i was a shoe in into the bedroom, but 4 boyfriends later still no action. we both went away to school and i learned it wouldnt develop into anything and i knew it was best just to stop talking to her and thinking about her. this was working out quite well for a while until over break a lot of my old highschool friends were all back together. all of her friends(girls that are also my friends) told me that she had recently been saying that she would definately see herself marrying me and later that night after some drinking she was all over me kissing my neck, sitting on my lap, talking about sex, and then some drama happened with some other friends that made the night end prematurely and she had to go with a friend to console her after a fight and i had to go with the guy. the next night there was still a lot of flirting going on but then at the bar i blacked out and said something along the lines of O THAT SOUNDS GREAT I GUESS WE CAN JUST BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. and then i proceeded to storm out of the bar and left. we havent really talked alot since then other than on the internet just casual hey whatsup conversation. everyone knows theres something there her, me, her friends, my friends, but its just not developing into anything. also one of my good friends dated her for a while a couple years back and treated her horribly. and im pretty sure he still fucks her occasionally. its a terrible situation. what should i do?

You're not in love with her.

You're in love with sabotaging the shit out of this potential relationship. Try this exercise: Sit down quietly and feel for your emotions in regards to this girl. You don't need to verbalize these emotions or even identify them. Just sit and feel them.

When and with whom did you feel these same emotions before? If you can identify something . . . you'll want to work on it.

. . . Or just work on your K close and stick your tongue down her throat. Although . . . I have a feeling that afterward, you might go back to sabotaging the relationship in order to explore these same yucky emotions once again.

i wouldnt say that im madly in love with her.

I definately always sabotage the shit out of any potential but when i think about how i feel about her this is the only girl ive really ever felt this much of a connection to.

i would go in for the close but i dont want to totally end any chance of anything.

also i have never hooked up with her yet.

I particularly don't like bringing this type of thing up in an Internet forum but out of curiosity . . .(and because I think this topic might really apply to you)

how are things between your parents?

trust me this isn't the WORST case of one-itis. Read Romeo and Julliet lol. That's pretty bad case of one-itis. Peace.

My parents have been married my whole life and other than occasional bickering things they are well.

Should I walk away or is it worth pursuing?

Haha, word!

Dude think about it. You have three options:
- let her go and lose any chance you have of being with her
- drag this thing on for a years without knowing where it's going
- go for a kiss and finaly figure out where you stand. You can mess all your chances (as you would with option No. 1) or get together with her (option No.2). But you'll know where you stand and have nothing to lose compared to your situation right now.

Hmm . . . so maybe this is just a case of indifference? I mean . . . why are you asking us if a relationship is 'worth pursuing'? And this is the girl that is the most 'special' to you? I don't get it . . .

Any way, here's the 'how':

Avoid the big romantic 'set-up' date. It's the 'friendship' that created the spark so this is the route to take. You guys were at a party when you nearly made out so I'd go back to a setting like that where your friends would help 'validate' the relationship; she'd feel that a relationship between you would be a natural step. (Obviously, you wouldn't tell ANYBODY about this . . . )

Plan a second spot where you two can spend some time. Get the hell out of the party as soon as you KNOW that it's on.

Look bro, what a waste of time. Is this one girl really worth it? What makes her so much different fron all the other intelligent, beautiful, caring, altruistic, supportive chicks we all have had oneitis for? If so, holy shit get your head out of your ass. I'm sorry, but you seem to be not the kind to think things through. Use that to your advantage, at least, and stop playing games. There is no bullshit; find where you stand, like Mcare said.

Then you can move forward. As harsh as it sounds, indigos is usually a trap where you constanly convince yourself this is your girl, and the more you think about it the more you convict yourself. This is a wake up call to just snap out of it. There is no games bullshit. It's the fastest way to cure your oneitis.

You can do this man.

Go get her

Peace.

I rate your just in love with the idea of her. Like you said this has been going on for 7 years and in that time uv managed to build up a possible unrealistic view of ur fantasised relationship with her

i honestly rate u try moving on to greener pastures it seems u got ur best result in terms of her wanting to be with u when u put her out of you mind so just do that... And see what happens

possible outcomes either u find love elsewhere or u get the girl that u think uv always wanted.

Good luck mate

thanks guys, i think what im going to do at the next party is game her for a bit and then just go in for the close, i definitely agree that it will help answer the question. I will let you all know how it goes.

Shoot yourself bro. Just kidding.
Haven't read any replies, but seems like you should start seeing other girls. Try getting rid of that oneitis stuff. Maybe if you started caring less about your outcome with her you would actually TRY something. You're probably so scared to get rejected by this 'O heavenly blessed beauty' that it'll keep you from even trying. Someone needs to give you a push into the right direction.
I can't work miracles but I can tell you this, if you don't start grabbing that ass you'll always wonder 'what if' the rest of your life with some horrible wife jumping your dick while you're fantasizing about your 'oneitis'.
Plain and simple.

Goodluck

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Optimistic?

That's a point!

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

so i went in for it and it didnt fly over so well. im thinking of abandoning this one and going on for a different girl. it could possibly show her that im capable of being a caring loving person.