***Why your lines, tactics, and routines fail. Making DEEP connections***


Along with the holidays comes free time for me. Free time for me means more post on here. Its been a while sense my last post and even longer sense ive even bothered reading these forums. That being said, I would like to share with you my thoughts below. Hopefully you can take away something that will help you from the following post. Enjoy.

Answer this, and be honest with yourself: Why do you spend time learning all the little pick up tricks, tactics, and lines? Why is it you work on a "routine stack" and figure out all the little different ways to counter shit test? Why do you spend time learning how frames work and how to always make sure your frame is the strongest? And so on and so forth..

The answer is obvious. You learn all of this because it is your wish to sleep with the women of you desires. Learning all these different tricks to deal with every situation that arises is a pretty daunting task. Takes a long time and a lot more work. But hey, its all worth it because your sleeping with tons of beautiful women right?

Yeah, didn't think so.

You've learned the lines, you've learned the phases of attraction, you've learned how to isolate and all that yet for some reason, its not working like it should and sure as as hell not as often as the sales page said it would. Why? Why in the world are all these little tricks and tactics not working? It sure is a puzzling question! Lets see if we can put the pieces together and form a complete picture.

Think back to the last time you approached a women you had an interest in fucking. You have approached a women right? If not, stop reading and go outside. Internet "sarging" does not count for this.

So, you went up to the woman, opened with your "golden opener." Direct, indirect, situational; doesn't matter. Then maybe you told her some DHV story. perhaps after that you did some kinda "psychic test" and you had to hold her hand to do so thus using kino. Then you started being cocky funny... you get the point. For whatever reason, you wasn't able to pull the girl. Hell, maybe you didn't even get her number. Perhaps this happens a lot.

Answer this question and again, be honest. What image was you trying to project? Perhaps your DHV stories conveyed that your a leader and a protector of loved ones. You used "cocky funny" banter to project how cool you are. Whatever image it was, and regardless if that image is congruent with the real you, why did you project it? You wanted to GET something from her, didn't you? Its okay to say yes here. You wanted to get sex (perhaps even validation from her giving you her number, or simply talking to you). You wanted to GET sex, or validation in some form.

This leads us to the answer of why your "set" didn't work out. Think back to the last time you knew someone was talking to you simply because they wanted something from you. Someone sucking up to you for something is a good example, so is a sales man. No matter how fancy the words they used were, or how well dressed and good looking they were, or even what tricks they tried to use, you know they wanted something from you. I'm willing to bet that you didn't make a very deep, meaningful, genuine connection with that person, did you? Of course not.

Women are MUCH better are reading sub-communication than us men. they have a ton more practice than us... In all reality, we cant compete with their skill in SC. They can tell when your simply trying to get something from them, like sex or validation. Everything you did (Opening, DHV stories, routines, ect..) was to project an image of yourself. You projected that image so that she would be impressed and/or seduced and would want to therefore sleep with you. Basically, you tried to GET sex from her. She can sense that you just want to GET something from here. That will hinder her from making a real, deep, meaningful, genuine connection with you.

If you really listen, women are all the time complaining that they dont meet many guys whom they can share a real connection with. This is because 99% of all guys are trying to GET something from them. Even that "nice guy" who's always there for her, always telling her how great she is, ect. He's trying to GET something from her as well; he is simply using a different strategy than you. In reality, both strategies are flawed.

If you want to get women, high quality women, and an abundance of women you will have to be able to make REAL connections with them.

"So Warped, I make a real connection with a woman and she will want to sleep with me?"

The simple answer to that is no. In addition to that, you must create a feeling of attraction. That however is beyond the scope of this post.

However, you wont be able to build attraction without first establishing a REAL connection with the girl. So while she probably wont want to sleep with you simply because you have built a real connection with her, she wont sleep with you without a real connection.

Okay, this puzzle is starting to form a picture. Now that you understand that you must form a REAL connection with the woman, how in the world do you accomplish that?

Thats for Part II. Yes, this will be a multi-part post. I dont wish to over whelm anyone. Lets be honest, I just layed upon you a lot of information and many things to think about. Information overload is a serious problem, once which I don't wish to contribute too. Therefore, I decided to split this post into multiple parts.

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1. Disagree. In fact, plenty women are turned on by the absence of real connections.

2. Plenty guys get laid by repeating "Do I look like a drug dealer to you?" over, over, and over again.

3. Meaningful relationships/connections of ANY KIND are based give and take. This is what builds trust and support. Get over the sexual hang up. There's nothing wrong with projecting that you want something, including sex. . . you just haven't figured out a 'routine' that allows you to do this in an effective way yet.

You're assuming that people here do use lines, tricks and party routines. You're right; some probably do, but I can't name one person from this forum.

The connection thing is not quite right - think of all the one night stands you or your mates or anyone you know has had; they happened not because there was a "real connection" but because a guy was horny and he found a willing female. After, they wake up and sneak out, or exchange numbers so that the girl doesn't feel like a slut about it (even though she shouldn't).

Never had girls hit on you just because you were there? Didn't think so!

I've circled out the key bits that I disagree with.

1. When a woman knows this is your intention, and she thinks your hot/worth the time of day. This is both...

A: Empowering.
and
B: Very sexy.

Learn to be sexually selfish, it works wonders.

2. See kasabi's post.

3. First of all this doesn't even make ecological sense, by this all normal men fail at seducing. And on top of that the phenomenon of why psychopaths are so expert in seducing young women is not even close to explained in this theory.

And more importantly there is no reason outside of cognitive bais thanks to a gender stereotype to believe this notion.

4. This is the absolute oppposite to what most girls experience. Again see above why the view you have expressed is common.

A "connection"??? that is funny
I had a friend who thought he was good with girls at his home town bc he created "connections". I laughed.
He came out one nite with me at uni. He got destroyed, calling women here bitches. I laughed again.
He didnt understand he had no game, just preselection in his hometown.
\

Creating a connection is typical nice guys strategy. Perhaps you are confusing connection and trust. Trust is sometimes needed for a girl to fuck a guy, She wants to make sure a guy wont do horrible things to her. that is not a connection.

1.woman are much better than untrained men at reading SC

2.More importantly the whole post has a problem with itself
Most people learning PU want something "to get laid" they want to get pussy from a girl, they are not here to create connections

3.By trying to create a connection a guy is essentially lying to himself bc the guy really got into PU to get laid, by your own logic a woman will notice that a guy is faking a connnection and she will not fuck the guy.

What do women want?
A guy who is comfortable with himself(secure, stable), knows what he wants tries to get what he wants, and is not subservient to others in most situations. Some need trust to feel safe enough with you.

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Inner game is the core, outer game is just an expression of it

A great point! Hell being honest that you just want to fuck her is enough to build all the trust you need.

Honesty breeds genuiness, genuiness breeds trust.

You are misunderstanding something. The "connection" you might be talking about, is sexual tension. They might be complaining that there are no guys who can turn her on (=> sexual connection). Why nice guys don't succeed, is because they can't create sexual tension, they're too nice and not aggressive enough.

Btw, using routines, DHV and canned openers, that is sooo 2008

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

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This whole post and all the arguments made are a very good example of how many different things will work with women, everyone has their own way of doing things and just because something worked for someone else does not mean that it is going to work for you, you could use the exact opposite of what they are telling you and become successful

which is crazy because a lot of guys who are really good at pickup sometimes cant teach you shit or even make you better no matter how much you pay them, because different things work for different people in different ways.

Most of the time there heads in a better place then yours and if you follow their train of thought it will probably help you out, but there are some things I 100% disagree with that pickup instructors will swear is true and at the end of the day we both go are seperate ways and have great success even though are mindsets are pure contradictory of each other.

You make a good point but this thread is NOT a good example of your point.
When this occurs, I'd say that it's more likely due to the student's ineptness and/or the teacher's lack of ability. Things do work differently for different people but there are also widely accepted general principles that cross most 'schools of pick up'.
Why would you need to 'swear' at anything? An instructor tells you to go tell a few girls, "Can I have your opinion?" and you do it. You do it 10 times and if it works for you, it works. If it doesn't work for you it does not. There's really nothing for you to 'believe in'. . . just do what works.
These were not 'empty pop shots' at the OP:

1. Go to ANY hot holiday spot . . .there is no way in hell that a guy with a mediocre game does not get laid before he returns. People go out of their ways to go to these locations to GET TURNED ON and FUCK each other without ANY connections whatsoever. The best line is to tell the girl, "I'm leaving in 2 days. . . " - This is your line from the day you arrive to the day you leave. Do you pretend to 'connect'? Of course. . . both the gal and the guy know that this 'blah, blah, blah' is utter bullshit.

2. In the past . . .for the hell of it, we'd go out and just repeat ONE freakin' can over, over, and over again. Let me tell you something. . . anybody's who has EVER done this knows that it works. . . and it's funny . . .

3. How anybody expects to gain connections without give/take is beyond me. . . this is basically the 'definition' of a relationship. You give and you take. Without it, you'd be strangers wouldn't you?

This has some merit to it. I started noticing this when I would run game on HB's last year with my wing. Several times over the year my wing would tell me that he liked this HB or that HB, so I would run some game but in general leave them alone and not expect anything from them. In return, their interest in me usually skyrocketed exponentially. This is a good tactic.

wow this post got destroyed, yet a usefull thread.

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