DAY 0: How it all started.
Getting tired of being an AFC.

Meet AFC Daniel:
I'm AFC Daniel, I'm 23 and I'm a French AFC.
About 2 months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. I've been with her during 2 years but she left to study abroad and ended our relation with a simple e-mail of 5 lines, only 5 weeks after leaving France. I truly like her but I have never been in love with her. Yet, since the broke up, I feel needy and I'm tired of feeling that way. I tired of wanting attention from her while I was not even in love. Thanks to the PUA community, I managed to put words on what is happening/happened to me.

As I was developping feelings for her, my value drop down little by little. I offered her beautiful gifts, tried to make her happy...I lost confidence... well you know what I'm talking about. In addition, she was the one with all the options. And now that we're done, I feel needy because I was in a oneitis situation (LTR) and now I have nobody aside. AFC!

After the break-up, I started to take a look at all that PUA stuff, including this forum. I really want to learn from the field and the community, not only to be better with women; but also to simply improve myself (confidence, talk to strangers, be attractive...). I stumbled upon ChopperSixx's thread (From AFC to PUA in 2 months?) and decided to create a Learning Journal on picking up women in order to improve my game with your help.

What I've learned:
- I am an AFC, I have to deal with it.
- Oneitis is not an option
- Value is what matters

Preparing for the Game... in Brazil
I'm currently living in Paris, but I'm moving to São Paulo, Brazil in February for a semester. I definitely want to pick-up there as you might guess.
My short-term goals:
- Kill AA (confidence, body language, ...)
- Be socially comfortable (be THE man in the room, ...)
- Attract women (strangers and the others female students)

Questions to move on:
- I'm needy, how can I deal with it? (ex gf situation)
- What kind of exercises should I start with? (approaching strangers, approaching HB, closing...)
- What are the best places to do these exercises? (Club? Streets? Friends of friends?)

If you have some tips, I'm all ears.

Salut Daniel!

Glad to know you have started to work on yourself. That's a great investment you'll never regret :)

Ok, regarding your needyness, do you mean needyness in general or towards your Ex?

For the exercises, I would advise to do the newbie mission. It's simple and effective. It's basically going out to meet random people with no thought in outcome whatsoever. Just go out there and say 'Hi, how is it going today?' to 10 girls a day. They don't even have to be attractive, it can be to the old grandma sitting at the bus station or the sexy 25 year old girl strutting down the street. You need to get comfortable to talk to strangers. Once you start to get down with that, try to make the conversations last longer and longer.

On the side read some material. I personally like the inner game stuff as it makes you a better individual in general.

Now for the best place, there is no bset place. It's all good. Where there is women, there is a way. I like day game myself better then night game so any trendy mall or busy street is good. University is a great place too.

Bonne chance!

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Salut TheJ! Thanks for the welcome!
I was speaking about my ex... I think if I succeed in having contacts/opportunities with more girls, I should be ok. But, a few days ago, I made a f**king mistake. I sent her an e-mail to ask her if I could call her to have some news. I know she's seeing someone else but I was just... needy. I have no answer but I have to confess that I don't really know what to do...

If she agrees to have me on the phone: should I call her? If yes, do I make her understand that I am f**king great? If I should not call her, do I have to send her an email back explaining why? Would be great if someone could help me on that ... I have not deleted his number/facebook and stuff because... I was not in love with her and actually agreed on the separation... Truth is, I don't really want to delete everything... Is this an AFC reaction?
I've already read lots of material on PUA. I've also started some exercises (post coming soon.)
I prefer day game too... Mall is too hard for now (people rushing for Christmas) but streets sound good, I need to work on it.

DAY 1: How I got started.
My first steps to kill approach anxiety.

I'm a nerd.
Yes, I'm a geek... which actually means I usually get really passionate about a topic and try to learn everything about it. I've been reading the Attraction Formula (Paul Janka) and several topics for newbies in this forum. I watched a lot of videos of live pick-up and interviews of PUA.

In field.
I knew the first step would be to kill my AA. As a newbie, I started to talk to strangers downtown on Saturday in order to work on eye-contact, body language and confidence.
1) I first quickly spoke to a 24yo HB7 at a denim store. Since the store was empty (strange before Christmas), I asked her if it was always like that and if she was not getting bored. Se was surprised and did not get it immediatly, she asked me to repeat. I maintained strong eye-contact while repeating. As she answered, I started to look to the pairs of jeans and told her I was looking for a new pair but was not in a mood to try them. I left.
2) I went to get a muffin and engaged the employee there. She was a 40yo women, not attractive at all. As I got my muffin, I sat and started to eat it. She told me she has to move her car. I could not stay since she was affraid of letting me alone in the shop. I told her she was right because I would eat all the muffins. She laughed.
3) I also spoke during 10 min to a 40yo guy working in a clothe store. I saw he was wearing an A&F tee and asked him where he got it (no A&F in France). We spoke about brands as A&F, G-Star, Pepe Jeans... Then I left.

What I've learned:
- It feels good to speak to strangers: it gives me energy and confidence.
- I need to work on my elocution, body language and confidence (one of them asked me to repeat)
- I have the balls to approach an HB without looking too intimidated.

Questions to move on:
- How can I avoid to be over-satisfied with that kind of results? (I was so satisfied by these conversations that I left the stage early)
- What can I do to constantly be in that mood? (confident, social, ...)
- How to attract people I talk to? (body language, smile, eye-contact, KINO?...)

I have to work on these points.

Salut!

I'd like to help. We were all there once and if we have a professional advice we would grow up faster. Plus, I'm writing a book now (two books actually, one about PU and one due to my studies) and want to see if my advices help people.

1. It's not the oversatisfaction, it's the goals. Here is the problem: No. The AA will be gone once for HB6's, then HB7's, HB8's and further. It disappears when you have actual successes with women. It occurs as the first thing but it's not the first thing to overcome. I like you to set up more challenging goal: #close hot blonde. You probably won't do it today and that's good. You have to work on it. Talking to stranger isn't hard but you speak to them on purpose.
2. Do whatever makes you smile. Before going out put your favourite music or hang out with friends. Whatever can get you into good mood is golden.
3. How to attract? Grooming and body language and big smile - first step, eye contact - second step, underestimated topic of a conversation - third step (remember, PUA is unique, your conversation with her has to produce emotions in order for her to remember you!), then kino of course. Kino at the end because you prefer day game, it's hard to let her touch her ass in the mall, isn't it?

Keep posting!

Salut!

Surielx.

_________________
An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
Personal thread: lr-s-surielxs-crazy-adventures-vt79972.html

Merci Surielx
You're right about this. AA depends on the HB level. I understood it in my last exercise (post coming). As you say, I maybe should not try to make my AA disappear since it will come as a result of my first successes. You're right about goals too. From now on, I'll set up goals and go for it.
Since I have to be comfortable with these steps, the first goals I'll set up will be related.

Thanks again Surielx,
I'll keep posting! Keep following!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I don't think there is anything wrong with being satisfied with those results and leaving a little early. Information overload never helped anyone.

What I usually do is when I decide to leave I force myself to open one more time, just to push the boundaries.

I'm also a massive fan of day game. I fucken HATE screaming at some chick in a dark club, plus during day game they are always so much more surprised and impressed that you came up and talked to them, which automatically makes you more attractive to them.

Thanks Riskless1!

I think I'm going to set up goals and try to push the boundaries.
I am not comfortable enough with night game either. According to Paul Janka, all the places where women are in a pedestal (with friends, dress to impress...) are difficult. That's for later.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 3: Approaching girls with a simple routine.
Getting experience in day game.

Building a routine.
After my first steps to approach strangers, I felt like I was ready to speak to women only and work on smile, routine and confidence. Formerly, I focused on natural game: speaking to people in a special set: talking brands with the employees of a clothes store for example. It worked well but I realized that I might need a small routine to approach indirectly women (not ready for direct)

Goals.
No goals were set up. But from now on, I'll set up goals. Nevertheless, here's what I was up to. I was with a friend. I gave us 30 min to split and go speak to women, and then came back to debrief.

The small routine.
Actually it's not a funny routine. It's just about having an excuse to approach a girl and be more safe about the topic. There's a famous cookie store in the city I was. I decided to ask for direction and engage them on the subject. Here's how I planned it (translated from French to English):

1) Asking direction: "I'm sorry to bother you, do you know where is *** Cookies?"
2) Waiting for direction. If she does not know, whatever.
3) "Ok, I'm asking because I'm leaving the city and a good friend of mine told me I can't leave without having a muffin there. Do you think it's worth it?"
4) Maintain the conversation
5) Transition to close: Let me have your number, I'll tell you what I think about the store. We could also have a drink sometimes.

That might not be so good but whatever, that's a first step: I try to DHV (leaving the city, which was true by the way) and look in a hurry (time constraint).

In field.
I was confident and excited by the challenge.
- I walk for 5 min and stumbled upon an cute girl walking. Too much hesitation, it was too late.
- I saw another cute girl but she kept on walking, I did not manage to speak to her.
- I had 15 min left. I've seen 2 girls (not really attractive but I had to approach, time was running). I gave them my routine and it worked pretty well, we started to have a discussion on the store. Since they were not attractive I did not even close. The AA was low, the confidence was good.
- 5 min after I saw to HB8 walking, no hesitation, I gave them the routine but was not so good since I panicked and did not manage to tell them my story (DHV). I had to eject.
I walked back to the starting point for the debrief.

What I've learned.
- AA depends on the level of the HB
- I need to kill hesitation: I can't afford losing any opportunity.
- I'm better by myself for now: my friend was not in the PUA thing.
- I need to set up goals.

Questions to move on.
- Is Natural or Non-natural game better for me? (preparing or approach and think after?)
- Should I be direct or indirect? (asking direction or saying directly she's cute?)
- Is my routine effective? How can it be better?

Some tips would help me!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Salut again!

AFC Daniel, I have to admit, I'm impressed by your attitute towards this process. Boom - goals, boom - preparations, action, results, kaboom - lessons and questions. It's very professional, it somehow reminds me of Style and the very beginnings of PU community as a whole.
1. It is a question for you and you only. If the AA is less intimidating while pre-planned approach, choose it. But one suggestion: you are here on purpose. You want to change something to have more successes with women so maybe it's a good idea to pre-script something and then internalize your actions?
2. Again, it's up to you. If you think that being direct is a "blow me or blow me out" tactic, be indirect (or compliment 30 random girls to see how they respond)
3. Is it effective? Ask yourself. If you take advantage on it - it's effective. At point 4 use some C&F elements for het to link good emotions with you.

If I can ask you for one thing, if you are bored with this one opener, test mine, I have a serious feelings about this simple "Hi, who are you?". I used it in a clubs and it's gold (in forewords I say like I am at this particular club 3-4 times a week and it's the first time I saw her so I ask, you can follow with your own idea).

Good luck man, I can see you are talented.

Salut!

Surielx.

_________________
An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
Personal thread: lr-s-surielxs-crazy-adventures-vt79972.html

What he said, I can tell that you are very on-track with your goals, keep it up, and it doesn't matter, just approach and open. If your well groomed, confident, smiling. I guarantee that you will do better then the other 10 AFC's that approached that HB today. Besides, you got the community backing you. Keep your head up, man.

_________________
"He is in command of my actions and seems to
be the leader of the men." -The Secret Garden, Women Sexual Fantasies.

"“The best way to get the person you want is to not be afraid to lose them” ~Neil Strauss

@Surielx

Thank you! As I told you, I'm a nerd: I love theory and learning stuff by myself. Yet I have still a very very long way to go. Let's face it. For now, I have nothing. I must become comfortable with woman to close an approach, and I have to confess that today was not a good at all (post coming).
I still have to figure this out, but I need more experience to answer that question. Having a routine is cool since it allows me to quickly kill hesitation. I see, I go for it because I know how to open. Yet, the only option I have for now is to ask for direction. I smile, I have confidence but I'm clearly missing the C&F thing and have to DHV with storytelling. C&F is not so hard to find out I guess. DHV is more complicated. I think I do dress well so it's a first step but what is hard is the storytelling thing since I should be able to close in 5 minutes.

Necessary steps and elements to approach.
1) OPEN: asking direction, ... (I need more options)
-> Time Constraint: make her understand I'm in a rush (first step to DHV and intrigue)
2) CONVERSATION: keep it going.
-> DHV: make her understand that I have high-value.
-> Negs: lowering her value. (optional)
-> Cocky & Funny: make her remember me.
4) CLOSE: Find a transition to ask her number.
I like direct game. I like to make women blush. Yet, I'm clearly not ready for it, I have to do the exercise you're suggesting me (30 is still a lot for me).
It's not effective for now. I have to work on that and be prepared.
Thanks for the opener, but it sounds kind of weird. The translation would be: "Salut, ça va?". I'm affraid of being creepy by asking that to a stranger during day game. Of course I could open with it and then follow up with another routine. But what is the value of asking that? I'll test it to see.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

@PurpleLight

Thanks!
I'll keep that in mind!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Personally, I'm still at a similar stage. I'm learning material from here and generally playing. About 2 months ago I got over a serious case of AA and can now approach anyone when I'm in the mood. What I found is that using the same opener, you'll get similar responses so you'll find it far easier to make yourself sound better*. You can then come back to it some time in the future when you see an HB10 and want something v. well rehearsed!
Nope, that translates pretty well. "Salut, quoi de neuf" would achieve similar effect. Basically, you're just asking a perfectly reasonable question that they can't object to.

*I used to use this idea when talking to my grandma; she couldn't remember what we talked about the day before so we'd regularly talk about the same things. It was Groundhog day basically! By the 10th time through the conversation I had honed my comedic lines and timings to a professional standard!

@zebraG

Thanks for the post!


Your translation is way better... but actually I misread Surielx's opener.
The translation would be: "Salut, comment tu t'appelles?" ou "Salut, c'est quoi ton prénom?". That's great actually. I've got to try this, it can be great on a direct game.

Thanks guys.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)