I've never done the whole relationship thing so I've never been cheated on but I've been with girls who have boyfriends a few times and the thought of being cheated on does make relationships less appealing to me (possibly my own inner game shit). I just don't seem to get why girls cheat though? Are there any main reasons? Or is it just dependant on that specific persons situation at the time?

_________________
luck is where preparation and opportunity meet

many reasons but its usually:
not feeling loved
bad sex
not commited enough
for fun

_________________
life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Most girls cheat because they're unhappy- they feel like they're lacking something in their current relationship. This has been the case with every one of my friends who has cheated on their guy... they all felt a void.

Also, some girls hate being alone, and so even if they're currently unhappy with the guy they're seeing, they won't break up with him until they find someone else.


The bottom line is that it's not normal for a girl to cheat, and it should never be tolerated. Men cheat because they crave sexual variety- that's just the way you are; it's natural. Plus, you can detach yourself from sex.

BUT REALIZE THAT WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, THERE IS NO EXCUSE. I know, I'm taking women back 30 years here... oh well.

Besides this point, it's just not right. You're the one taking her out, you're the one taking care of her; let's be real- in a relationship, who spends more money on the other person? The girl on the guy, or the guy on the girl? Who receives more gifts? Who most often pays for the dinner dates, the movies, etc? You do. And then what? She goes to another guy and he gets to fuck her no strings attached...

You just shouldn't tolerate it.

The best thing to do is set boundaries from the beginning. Note: not rules.. boundaries. "If you cheat on me, it's over". That's all that needs to be said- you say it to her once so she knows, and then when and if she cheats, you end it.


-Roz

_________________
NOTE: I'm taking a break from the site, and hence will not be responding to any messages!

I'd like to contest this post.

Firstly, I wanna talk about the way you described it as being 'not normal' for women to cheat.

This is not an ideology we should be promoting; the idea of 'normality' vs. 'abnormality'. People are different. People want and feel different things. It's profoundly detrimental both to the individuals in question, and to our own psyche to start lumping things into 'normal' and 'abnormal'; in other words 'right' and 'wrong'.

Things do not exist in rights and wrongs, nor do they exist in normals and abnormals.

With that in mind, I think it unwise to condemn people for their choices in the way you did in the above post.

At the end of the day, it comes down to this; if a promise is made between a man and a woman that they aren't going to engage sexually with anybody else, that promise should be maintained; by both parties.

I don't believe men are more exempt from this rule than women; we should be men of our words. We happen to have a lot of power in our hands, knowing all this pickup stuff and we should use it responsibility and always stick to our word. This makes us intrinsically more attractive, anyway, so it's win-win.

There are dozens upon dozens of reasons why a woman might cheat. I was speaking to an old friend of mine last night and her reason for considering it was that she was excited by the fact that somebody else wanted her for her body; that feeling can be lost in a relationship sometimes, when the two people become accustomed to eachother's sexuality. That raw, passionate sexuality is sometimes traded in for stability.

This is, of course, very sad.

Women may also cheat because they also crave that sexual variety that men crave; they may also feel as if they're missing out if they let a certain man pass them by, even if they're with someone. Some women are just simply very easily seduced. I know I've inspired women to cheat just by being very seductive; not that my personality doesn't provide allure in itself, but without that overt, forward sexuality, I'm sure it never would have happened.

These are my thoughts on the matter.

Sky

Most of the time, they cheat because they need to fill a void, that they are missing from their current relationship, and as soon as the void is filled, usually they will regret it. But most of the time if they cheat, they are going to cheat again, and again.

Great point! It was a poor choice of words on my part. However, I stick by what I said.

A man has the ability to detach himself from sex- he can cheat on his girlfriend or wife, regardless of the fact that he loves and cares for her. A man can be truly happy, not lack anything in his current relationship, and still cheat.

This has to do with the fact that men have a need for sexual variety- they can't be satisfied with just one woman. There are a lot of biological theories to back this up. Women on the other hand don't have a need for sexual variety- a woman can want more than one sexual partner, but she's not programed to need one.

Also, a man's capacity to think, power of conscience, faculties of discrimination etc is reduced when he's aroused... and men get aroused simply by the presence of an attractive woman. Women on the other hand (considering they're not under the influence of alcohol etc) don't experience this, because they don't have a penis:

1. Erection = penis must fill up with blood.
2. Where does the blood come from? Law of gravity- it comes from the brain.
3. Less blood in the brain= reduces capacity to think, conscience, all I've stated above, etc!


Of course, everyone's entitled to their opinion on the matter. In my opinion, fidelity is not natrual for men... it's purely cultural.


-Roz

_________________
NOTE: I'm taking a break from the site, and hence will not be responding to any messages!

great post roz

I'm certainly not debating our natural inclination towards polygamy; we're programmed to spread to seed.

I just believe in keeping true to one's word; if you intend to sleep with other people, make that clear.

Then you can't be faulted.

Sky

Just wanted to expand on what Roz said:

Men are inclined to cheat no matter what. The more females we have secks with, the better it is for our species. I e; having secks with 1,000 girls is relatively better than having secks with 10 girls in terms of biological pay off. It is not the same for girls. A female does not gain an advantage from mating with a 1,000 guys, she will only get pregnant a handful of times. Hence it is not important for a girl to simply want variety. Instead, she desires Utility. She wants to mate with the guy with the best genes to guarantee her the best off-spring. This is how evolution has determined which men women will be attracted to. (better physical adaptivity / fearless attitude which in modern era gets translated into social adaptivity and confidence.) A girl won't cheat simply because she wants variety, she will cheat because she was inclined to do so with someone more Alpha than the guy she is with. (Yes, I know there are probably exceptions, there always are).


Study on a certain species of birds who were thought to be monogamous for a long time proved otherwise. They lived monogamously (They lived together their entire lives, and raised their offspring together) but it was found that they both cheated on each other, but with an interesting stipulation. The male ALWAYS cheated, he always wanted sexual variety and had sex with as many females as he could find. The female however, ONLY cheated if she could find a male more dominant than the one she lived with. And if she could, she would have secks with the Alpha, get pregnant, and come back and live with her regular partner. If she couldn't find a more dominant partner, then she stayed loyal.

Before anyone replies with "We're not birds," I know we aren't. But I do want to bring to light the idea that men and women might cheat for different reasons. Personally, I've always been a huge fan of trying to explain social dynamics through a very scientific / Darwinian point of view. And oddly, if you study animal social dynamics, many of them are the same as humans. (Did you know that Alpha Male Gorillas naturally display the same body language that everyone is always recommending for human males? i e; they move slower and smoother, keep a hand by their crotch, hold eye contact, etc.)

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Women also have biologically driven impulses to cheat, if you think otherwise you're just kidding yourself. It increases her fertility and insures she is impregnated when she is most fertile. Read the following UCLA link:

http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/Ne ... elNum=6713

_________________
There is no such thing as failure, just opportunities for learning...

Just from a medical point of view: the bloodflow to the brain is being kept stable at all times and will certainly not reduce when you have an erection.
Furthermore less blood to the brain wont really reduce capacity to think because normally 70% of bloodsugar presented to the brain will go back to the veins unused.
There is however a genetic drift in men (on an evolutionary basis) that makes them want to dump their stuff in any women with good genetic characteristics, but it can be suppressed at all times by the frontal and temporal lobes.
However this can be though at times (especially under influence) but it is not an excuse for cheating...

This to illustrate that you are at all times in control of your actions, not of your emotions, but your actions..
Unless the emotions are too overwhelming and your mental inhibitions (frontal temporal) are overpowered. As is the case in passionate murder etc..

but the need to dump your stuff is not that overwhelming..

I'm stoked on this. ^_^

The OP asked, "Why do girls cheat?"

However, everybody here offered an answer to a different question, "Why and how do girls JUSTIFY their promiscuity?"

Here's why:
Perception is more powerful than reality. You'd expect middle America, 'God fearing' pregnant high school drop outs to believe this shit. The reality is that the propaganda for this shit is so powerful that I've seen PhD's go straw man to prove why "women SHOULD NOT cheat". With THIS MUCH la-la land idiocy clouding their judgment, it is no wonder why chicks are so quick to draw an excuse card from the files and pull a "I was not fulfilled" or "I was not loved" card out for everybody to see. WOMEN CANNOT possibly stray . . . if you do, you're a _____!*&@#($(!!!!!

So they all go this route: "HEY! I AM NOT A S-L-U-T!~!!! I was merely, 'not fulfilled'. . . " - Ehmm . . . it's the guy's fault.

Neither men nor women 'cheat' while thinking, "I need this or that or I lack this or that." Regardless of why the REALLY cheat . . . all of this BS comes AFTER they cheat.

You just couldn't let this one go could you?

IRL, you'd want to have her blah, blah, blah with her bs a bit longer, secure a 1 on 1 and then pounce on her with, "Well, I'm an MD" or "researcher". Pull the bs card too early and she'll call YOU an asshole and F off.

In this forum, we could have had a few more posts worth of laughs. Thanks to you, this one's over.

Actually the bloodflow part is acurate. It will remain constant in your brain regardless of erection or not. He's just stating the facts.

You do martial arts Kasabi I believe. Even been in a choke hold? Your vision starts to dim (i.e. loss of blood pressure to the head), that's what loss of blood to the head does. If it happened everytime a guy had a boner, humans would not be roming the earth anymore.

That being said, I agree with your first post about back rationalisation being a pile of garbage.

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream