I've read few books on pick up artist techniques so I wandered here and thought this might be a good place to get some feedback.

Been going out with this girl (early 30s) who I met through a friend. Been out with her five or six times over the last two months. She'll almost never pick up a phone call but always texts back within 24 hours. Seems always busy networking, working out, outdoor activities. Come on, nobody is THAT busy! I'd say she isn't interested seeing I only see her once every week or two. I don't think she ever initiated a phone call or text to plan something with me. I don't get it, if she's not into me, why always set something up with me eventually?

Why do I put up with this? I'm really interested in her. I was almost tempted last time to bring it up as to where we were but those talks are always awkward and I hate them. I'd like to see some progress but I don't feel like I know her any better. With this girl, my read on her is absolutely zero and can't tell what she's thinking. I'm planning on putting the ball back in her court and have her contact me if she wants to see me.

How far have you got with her? Have you hugged her, kissed her or slept with her? If you haven't done any of those things I'd say she thinks of you as just a friend. Don't bring up any talks about where you are at. Just escalate and if you don't know what that means then search it up!

I'm in a similar situation. This girl has never initiated conversation, but will always reply to me. She is hell busy too but always says she is really keen to hang out with me. I'm just gonna keep making contact every so often so I don't come across as needy and hopefully arrange to meet up (because she was good in bed the first time I met her

antic raised some important questions..

but to answer your question: she might like the idea of hanging out with someone that is into her for an ego-boost or just doesnt think that spending time with you is that bad, although there is no sexual vibe.

Thanks for the replies guys. Hugs, holding hand. Sounds bad, doesn't it? I've made moves on a girl on the first date but it's when I usually see an opening or an invitation to make a move. And I don't think I've seen any openings.

I guess I'll look up what escalate techniques are there. Just go in for a kiss huh?

If she's just hanging out with me for ego boost and feels no sexual vibe, that's messed up. In one of first few dates, whether it was smart or not I don't know but I told her that I don't want to waste her time or mine with relationships/potential relationships that go nowhere.

If she wasn't making long term plans to do things weeks in advance, I'd definitely say she's not interested.

Oh, how I love this.
DING DONG! SHE IS INTERESTED!

Boys, just for the record: if the girl is accepting to continue seeing you, then for the time being- she's interested.

I for one never call a guy unless I'm calling him back, and I let him ask me out and plan the date- because that's his job!


-Roz

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NOTE: I'm taking a break from the site, and hence will not be responding to any messages!

Ha well I will take this as good news then. I have always been clueless when it came to woman. I can talk all day but can never see interest.

Well at least that's good news that she's interested. But what's with the lack of communication? If you're interested, wouldn't you want to talk to that person on a regular basis???

After calling and texting, got some theater tickets. I guess it's time to escalate (?) things. Would, "where are we?" talk be okay ?

She may think along these lines: too much interest from me = not enough interest from him. And she's right you know... after all, you really like her.

Honestly though, some women just like to let the guy make all the moves... and rightly so- you're men! You're the pursuers! It's your job!

If it helps to know, this is my train of thought: I never approach a guy, because I know that if he likes what he sees, he'll approach me. I know that if he wants to talk to me, he'll call. I know that if he wants to take me out, he'll ask. I know that if he's interested, he'll initiate all these things because it's in his nature to do so.
Why would you bring up the "where are we" talk? No no no... you don't escalate with words- you escalate through action. Invite her to your place and cook her dinner! Create sexual tension! Kiss her! Make out! Feel her up! Need I continue? Common...

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NOTE: I'm taking a break from the site, and hence will not be responding to any messages!

Agreed, use actions.

Isolate her, whether it's at home, or out, just you two. She's seeing you because she has interest, or with her 'busy life' she could easily say no, directly or not directly.

Once you start using actions more and more, she will start wondering what situation your in, more than you will.

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Respectfully I'm going to have to disagree. Yes, if you are a man want to get out there and meet women it is your responsibility to go out there and do so. Likewise if you are a woman and you see a cute guy you want to meet it is also your responsibility to do so--unless of course you don't mind limiting yourself to only the people who approach you, but you'll never know what else you could have gotten if you take that approach. Men as a whole have no obligation to women as a whole, nor do women men. You are only responsible to yourself and your own goals and aspirations.

Personally, I start to get bored when I pursue a woman and she doesn't pursue me back. If she really wants me that bad, she is going to have to go after what she wants. If she doesn't reciprocate my interest, she will lose me. I'm not there to be part of some 50's love sitcom and shower her with affection and make all her decisions for her as if I were her daddy. Blech! I'm looking for my equal.

To hawkeye1212, make sure you communicate clearly your interest in her, and after that if this woman is still not doing enough to maintain your interest you can try and find someone else who will. Don't sell yourself short. Not all women are like this.

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I think, therefore I am.

Thanks for all the advice. I took earlier advice and went in for a kiss (about freaking time), didn't get turned down. Sometime afterwards, asked about her new year's eve plans (she's doing something with friends) but got a noncommittal reply back when I asked her if she was free.

I texted her on Xmas and got a reply.
I called her yesterday but rang until I got voicemail, which frustrated the hell out of me and brought back old issues.

Maybe a kiss is just a kiss, not like I'm in high school anymore when it seemed to mean a lot more.

Just feeling like an idiot for cleaning up my personal life for her. Broke it up with a girl (kind of clingy and wanted to move too fast, ie marriage) and two other girls I was kind of seeing for her so I can pursue a relationship with her with a clean slate. I guess I don't have the high moral ground to be upset...

At some point, it's not worth my pride to keep chasing a girl who doesn't seem that interested in me. Before I stop contacting her for good, think I should just ask about where we are so I won't have any regrets?

If I may hawkeye, I think you are pushing too much from side and taking the pressure on urself. Don't text/call her anymore. If she is really into you she ll comeback. 4-5 dates is good enough time to know someone. You might end up getting hurt really bad if you pursue this. So JUST FREEZE on her and move on. Is she on ur facebook etc?. If so make her aware that you are meeting new people & having a gala time. Thats a simple idea that worked wonders for me. If you ever have a date next time wi her, make sure u f-close. If you need ideas on how ( a couple of things that worked for me) shoot me up.

Lol the reason i write is, I used to think exactly like u did a month ago. Oneitis as many call it. YOU HAVE TO MEET MORE PEOPLE. One of the girls I dated tells me you GOTTA date 20 atleast to find one thats worth spending time wi. Where's your number?

One-itis? I should look that up. As for my dating experience, had four serious relationships, lots and lots of first and second dates (30-40). F-close? The situation with me and the girls that I usually date is a little bit out of the norm. I'm Asian and I date mostly Asians. I know the rules when I date non-Asians but Asians can be either americanized/liberal or conservative/FOB. Sometimes I don't know which set of rules to go by, I kind of play it by ear.

I'd take any advice on f-close though. I guess I'm putting up with this for now is cause I'm pretty picky and this is one of the few girls I met who I see long term potential with.

I date Asians too. I find them very attractive. Make the move, see if there is IOI. If she has a problem, don't wait till she says it ( I mean u can sense it right?) don't get furious, say somehting nice, like I respect your decision, but blah blah.. and back off. Pretend, less interested and again upon opportunity same routine. (From neil strauss)

Small Update:

This past Monday, texted her that I was going to be in her neighborhood for lunch so let me know if she wanted to grab food, thinking that she was working from home this week due to the holidays but got a text back 24 hours later saying she'll talk to me later when she gets back from santa barbara. Didn't even know she was going out of town... No call or text since then. F it, what, her phone doesn't work in another city one county over?

I'm just going to freeze and not contact her anymore. If she calls, I just want closure and have a talk with her about her interest level and how it's not working for me.