So, I've been watching "The Pick-Up Artist" with Mystery, and after having gained a bit of understanding during the first season, I was more able to appreciate the demonstration Mystery and Matador gave during the season 2 opening.

What I saw was, what to my mind looked like douchebaggery. Even if both the guys and girls had the time of their life, I still wasn't comfy with what I saw. From the negging, to the constant effort at maintaining high value at all costs, to the hot'n'cold "You gotta validate me before I validate you"-routine, it all looked like such a unfriendly facade compared to how Mystery acted around the participants. Then he seemed really likable.

Now, I could understand it if this facade was required for initiating the relationship, but could be discarded afterwards. But from what little I've read on the subject of being a PUA, lack of congruency is what kills it for a lot of guys, and that they won't be able to hold on to a woman over time (cheating, break-up) unless they stay congruent with how they first attracted her.

What I'm concluding from this is that basically, in order to not be an AFC, I need to transform into what to my eyes looks like a douchebag (even if it isn't actually experienced that way by anyone participating), and stay that way for as long as I'm in the relationship. That I need to constantly watch my value around my snagged woman, constantly keep her working for every bone I throw her, and neg her every time she gets uppity. That I can't let my guard down and be myself, that I can't be emotionally vulnerable and unguarded with her, that I can't speak to her the way I would a friend. That she is basically just sex, fun and tightly controlled conversation on legs.

And with that conclusion, I gotta ask, is that really preferable to being an AFC? Am I missing something here? Is everything I thought I knew about relationships with women false? Is it all some animalistic competition for prestige and sex, a constant, life-long social sparring match designed to keep the woman on her toes enough not to leave me?

Cause, if I have the choices between two extremes, where I on one hand have to be a worthless tool, or on the other, an ever-vigilant douchebag, with no apparent middle ground, then I gotta say, the world is truly harsh. Way harsher than I ever suspected. I't be a slap in the face big enough to turn me off the game before I ever even tried. Also, with the apparent empirical success of PUA's, I find it extremely hard to question their theories and outlook, so I can't very well go "You're wrong! You have to be!" either. Most depressing.

Tell me it ain't so. That I don't have to become something I despise, basically sell my soul (no matter how enjoyable the lifestyle would be), just to get and keep the kind of woman I want.

Mystery has ONE way of attracting women. I also think his methods are somewhat assholeish.
There's also NLP with Ross, which I seriously don't like.
THere's a bunch, so if you don't like a way of doing things, search for another method and do it.

I personally like what this guy, Alex Coulson teaches. It's not really a method. Just search him up on youtube.

There's also an alpha male asertiveness type method that doesn't require being a jerk.

You just gotta look for the ones you like, man.

_________________
Thinhman
thinhman@hotmail.com

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome!. True Story." - One of the greatest PUAs ever!

Oh also,

asian-pua-vs-asian-afc-field-pick-up-vt ... highlight=

This asian guy's not being a dick, but he's successful. (THe second video)

_________________
Thinhman
thinhman@hotmail.com

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome!. True Story." - One of the greatest PUAs ever!

First up; You WILL be an asshole when your beginning. You need to find that balance. I know at times I have gone too far and come off as a douche.

If you want to still be a genuine, nice, confident and successful guy, look up David Wygant on youtube. He has a few good points that might give you some ideas

I have seen a few pick up attempts by mystery on youtube. He can be a bit...Asshole-ish.

Mystery's material works really well in a club with girls who are dressed up and know they're really hot and are expecting to be hit on.

His way of acting like they're not that hot and they need to win him over works especially well for the kind of girl that, underneath her attractive exterior, actually has relatively low self-esteem and gets validation through men.

What most of the standard MM3 based material teaches, is how to act like the kind of guy who is a club promoter or involved in media or fashion, who sees a lot of beautiful women all the time, knows a lot of high-status people, and is kind of a dick. He's the kind of guy that'll want to check what your salary is and who you know and if you're rolex is real or fake before deciding if he should bother taking your meeting. His female equivalent is the social climber who mysteriously starts dishing out the IOIs when she's introduced to the film producer who can help kickstart her "acting career." Each step along the way guys have to learn the kind of thing a guy like that would say and do in every specific situation.

So they get to be able to say those kinds of things from A1 up to C1, but then they don't know and fall back on who they actually are, at which point "incongruence" rears its ugly head and they have to go back and do a bootcamp or buy some more products to teach them how to talk and act in that situation, and so forth until they're able to act just like that kind of slightly aloof asshole player type, i.e. the type of guy that those kinds of women are usually attracted to because they're usually good lays (they're dominant and treat her like a slut in the bedroom, but they treat her pretty bad normally too, which is why the relationships don't last) OR they're well connected and can provide for her by buying her nice shit.

Unless you're already that kind of person, this is basically an exercise in learning how to put on a sustained, fine-tuned performance where you play a certain role in order to make the girl like you. The community teaches that if the girl still doesn't fall for you, you fucked up one of the steps and you have to buy more products or do more bootcamps until you have all the steps down, i.e. it's your fault.

Does this sound retarded enough to you yet?

You don't have to be a dick at all. I go up to women on the street and tell them that I think they're really beautiful. Not because it's some "routine" to make them like me, but because it's true and I mean it sincerely and want to get to know them.

If they're not interested, they'll let me know within a minute, and I can move on. If they are, then they'll stay, we can have a chat and see if our ACTUAL, REAL personalities click or not. If they do, we talk about something fun to do together, and then exchange numbers. There are no lines, no routines, no negs, no DHVs, no bullshit. Just being totally honest about your intentions, showing you're confident enough to express them, and being a fun, sociable person.

I would encourage you to TRY IT!

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