Not to bang them, to make them chill the fuck out.

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Real beauty is waterproof.

I'd be interested to know if many guys have successfully LJBF'ed women that are interested in them. I think some of what I've read re. pick-up, experienced personally, and have seen in basic psyche is that it's for more difficult for guys to LJBF girls than vice versa. This is because a lot of the premise of a guy being LJBF'ed is that he's an AFC that is not sexual enough to a female who otherwise likes him, so she makes him into one of her girlfriends with a penis. I'm not necessarily saying that that's always a bad thing as I wish I had more female friends for feedback, connections, and even pivots. But it works because she's knows that you're attracted to her and on some level she can find you useful and sort of leave you on the bench as a backup in case her other relationships fail, use you to help her with manly stuff like fixing her car without actually having to have a relationship (or sex) with you, or whatever. But speaking sociologically, most guys are trained to be AFC and sort of 'take-it' and it's far more normal/socially acceptable for them to believe in the whole romantic notion of the unrequited love/lust thing whereas women are trained that they have more 'options' from childhood on and can sort of pick-and-choose any guy they want.

I tend to think that it works differently for women and that they get very offended if they're sexually interested in a guy that LJBF's them or doesn't reciprocate attraction, either intentionally or even unintentionally. After a time, I think they tend to stop trying and will cut off any real friendship generally speaking, and even become somewhat hostile along the "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" vein. I'm interested in what others think about this...

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There is no such thing as failure, just opportunities for learning...

I think you're right, when I was 18 I banged a chick who got me drunk (don't ask), I phoned her up the next day and said it was good fun but I just wanted to be friends. She didn't speak to me after that.

You can do this by eliciting values and setting expectations. Like if she asks you where you're looking for, answer with "I like to have some fun with no strings attached. If I meet a realy fun girl then I would go for a relationship. But for the moment, I also like the company of girls as friends because ... "

Secondly, you act differently to girls you want as friends and to girls you want as potential fuck buddies/ gf/ ... To girls you want to be just friends with, you act very social, with being funny, smart, spontaneous, and not to overly flirtatious. To girls you want to fuck, you act very sexual and seductive.

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

Problem is all I get is IOIs. No directness. If I make a call and I'm right or wrong, she can deny it to save face and I look like a jackass.

I've never been good at turning girls down. The first time I got kissed was in kindergarten. She was rubbing my leg at lunch and kissed me at recess. I didn't handle it well . I told her to fuck off.

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Real beauty is waterproof.

Honestly I just use the same bullshit they use on us
"I dont want us to lose our friendship"
"I like you too much"
"I'm not good enough for a girl like you"
etc etc

I don't hear that stuff. But then I've been aloof since I was born. Although friends have told me they've heard that stuff.

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Real beauty is waterproof.

thats good, I heard that kinda stuff when I was a big dork in HS when I didnt know what I was doing.

If all they're doing is IOI's, then no problem, if they get direst then just give them the" I don't see you in that way"

Seriously, where's the problem, sounds like bragging...

Sorry, I'm just not used to it. And I don't like having unresolved stuff hanging around me.

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Real beauty is waterproof.

My only question is, Do you WANT to befriend her, or do you want to get rid of her?

If you want to get rid of her, or atleast let there be a slight chance of loosing her friendship aswell, use her abit, act jerkish and AFC to her.:

Ask for a couple of drinks, for a dinner and stuff, and eventually she will go away :b

I would be ok with being her friend. But in reality we have zip in common. Also this is a coworker hah.

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Real beauty is waterproof.

Just don't escalate...

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

I've been in this situation with a coworker (as an AFC, which I sort of still am), and not escalating can actually be akin to being nonreactive and actually make her want you more (especially if you're teasing her and being naturally Cocky and Funny™ without ever having read DeAngelo and being completely unaware of pickup)...

But I think the answer is pretty simple here, just state or otherwise imply that you don't date people you work with under any circumstances, unless of course you're in a job where that's obviously not true because its not your career or the restaurant industry (in which everyone fucks each other) or something...

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There is no such thing as failure, just opportunities for learning...

I've had to LJBF ex-girlfriends (I actually wanted to be friends with them, and am) and I've also done it to a few girls that were attracted to me. It depends on the personnality of the woman we're talking about, but in most cases so long as you have a legitimate reason:
- I'm really into someone else
- I'm not ready for a relationship yet

they'll back off abit, if you want to keep them as a friend after this point you'll need to put in the effort to let them know you want to be friends, but as with men when we're LJBF'd some women will back off because they feel as though they got shot down.

EXCEPTIONS:
I have however found that some women are a little more agressive, and that even if you LJBF'd them with a legit reason.. they'll go after you that much more. They'll tell you that they just want to be friends with you and then consistently try to seduce you.
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Best advice I could give you would be:
1) give them a reason that won't hurt their feelings but that gets the message across (you have to believe this reason cause if you don't it'll show in your body language)

2) Try to maintain the friendship by hanging out with them in very friendly contexts (ex: don't take her out for supper)

3) Stand your ground (if she starts trying to seduce you, let her know that you're just not looking for that)

dJ vIrAl