hi!

got to know someone online..chatted for a while..exchanged numbers..suggested doing something on the weekend, he thought it was a good idea and responded by saying that if i was at a certain party on saturday we could also see each other there beforehand (he was going to be there with "friends").

luckily it turns out that one of my friends had one date with him 7 weeks ago. turns out that he had a break up in march. my friend told me that when they met he kept on stressing how over it was with his ex..but my friend and him never met again after he had a long extensive talk with his ex..so she has the feeling he is not over her and she has been seeing the two going out in the clubs now and then (as friends). also turns out that the friends he will be going out with on sat include two of his exes with whom he now has a friendship.

meeting him along with his exes obviously would have been a bad idea, so i will set up meeting him some other time.

question: what is a good advice to get the ex out of his head, how should i react should he start talking about her for e.g?

Before you go off trying to get an ex out of his head, make sure you two are compatible with each other. You haven't even met him yet, relax. Get to know him first, determine if you like him or if he is just a fling. If he is just a fling, it won't really matter right?

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

thats right of course i just want some advice beforehand in terms of what to watch out for and what to do, just in case..

did he break up with her or the other way around?

does he still want her? if she dumped him than its very possible he'll go back to her if she lets him.. if its the other way around then its still possible unless he likes you a lot after actually meeting you..

its a lot easier to get over someone when you're excited about someone new....
but if he doesnt want someone new then u'll get dropped if she takes him back...

try and figure out what he WANTS... im friends with a buncha exes. but it took QUITE few months apart to get to that point...

and again if you're attracted and get intimate..... and thats all that happens then enjoy it i guess but make sure you dont invest feelings til youre sure so you dont get hurt.

as for what to look out for.. if hes hanging out with her a lot lately... thats a sign...
having you see him at a party while shes there may be a way of him using you to make her want him again.... might be why hes taking two exes as well... bit of competition?

as the other poster said. meet him and see how it goes... just dont invest feelings if you can for a bit.. even if you sleep together...

lets look at it this way he wouldnt be talking alot about her if he dumped her! if he dumped her there really wouldnt be a need for him to discuss it, so i imagine she dumped him for whatever reason if hes still obsessing and talking about it then there maybe a problem

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Personally, if I were to string an ex around with me it would only be for one reason, sex. With an ex hanging around (especially if there are drinks around) it's much easier to get laid, even if it is 'familiar territory'.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

This ain't the problem.

I'm pretty sure cindy could have sex with him if that was her only goal.

The reason this is bugging her is because if he isn't over his ex it'll affect her relationship with him.

And I couldn't think of anything other than: Chillax and see where the chips may fall. If it doesn't work out, you can break it off.

I get the problem Vaj, but thanks for clarifying.
My last post wasn't related to her problem, it was an explanation as to why "I" would keep an ex around.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

But isn't thread about her situation?

id say up with him first he might not mention the ex

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Are we not allowed to post our own personal experience, input, observations, comments and or recommendations?

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

You are, as long as it has to do with the original posters situation.....

Otherwise it's just useless

I think it was an insight to give her an idea as to why he possibly has his ex around still.

I also think it was a valid post.

and let the topic go back to the OP intention in case someone else has advice.

but it's true.. i've kept exes around for sex only.. and they've used me (knowingly to me) for that as well..... which makes my other point valid... once there is someone else he actually likes he wont have much use for her anymore.. if THAT is the situation... cuz its easy to leave meaningless sex for meaningful sex.

in this case tho if he still cares about her and she begs or guilts... he WILL probably see her and it will lead to sex... even if he doesnt care for it....

theres not much you can do about that because its the state of mind.. only time apart fr her will make it easy to say no..... IF thats the situation....

i know its not he happiest advice but i think you get the guys perspective on this situation now ya?

personally.. unless its for sex or i wanted her back(rare).... i would hang out with her as a FRIEND probably once a month... (how i do it now) even once every two months... not weekly.. keeping in mind tho.. girls hang out with exes lots thinking its all about friendship but the guy usually has other intentions... so even if he is trying to get something.. doesnt always mean shes giving it up.....

thx for the response guys! i`ll have to find the answers to many of the questions raised and i will keep you tuned