Rye,

What's the best way/method to feel comfortable when with or around a girl? I get all these paranoid anxious thoughts.

I have a lot of friends that are girls, but I flirt with them all shamelessly (which is awesome practice, because they will let you know when you overstep your bounds) and so when I am with a girl I am interested in, I just pretend she's just a friend and then add a bit more into attraction and try not to get her too comfortable right off the bat. When you walk into a set, I like to think that I'm just interested in some conversation and then I slowly allow myself to become more attracted as I progress the relationship forward.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

hey rye, I have a question for you. I am just getting into the PUA scene and starting to learn a lot. Right now, there is a girl I am interested in; I have known her for some time (almost a year) but only as an acquaintance, not really someone I hang out with. However, she is in one of my classes this semester so I have been talking to her more. My gut tells me she is interested, so I want to act on it; I don't want to wait too long and get trapped in the LJBF zone.

So here's the question: Should I (1) just go ahead and stright up ask her out, (2) ask her to hang out alone and run game on her, or (3) wait and hope I get lucky enough to see her at a party and run game on her there?

Thanks man.

I have some Hbs in my drivers class i sit across from them what should i do?

You don't need to isolate a girl to run game on her, because running game shouldn't be a switch that you turn on and off when you are interested in a girl. I game the fat checkout clerks at the grocery store for god's sake. Game isn't something that is an additional thing that you break out when you think you have an opportunity, because if it is, you are going to feel nervous whenever you try to step into it. Consciously walk around all day, thinking in "game mode", thinking how to speak and what to say and playing conversations in your head that you may have had, or ones you want to have (don't just make everything go your way, throw yourself shit tests, and curveballs) that way when you see a girl, you can talk to her just the way you always talk in your head. You run game on the obstacles blocking your target, it isn't something that is just about your target, its about winning over obstacles and pawning off them in to the group, so practice by befriending every person you meet. Then whenever you talk to a girl, run game on her, and then it becomes part of who you are, because otherwise, she will be able to tell that you are acting different when you try to pick her up.

As to how I would go about it; I would sit adjacent to her in class if you can, then open her up, and have a conversation that builds attraction (I don't like to use canned material, so I don't have any suggestions unfortunately). Make sure to neg her some, so that you are different from the other guys that are always hitting on her, and then if there's any parties you know of, tell her you're going and tell her that she should come. She says, "sure" and then you see her there and continue with a conversation in a much better environment. If you don't know any parties, ask if she's heard of any (assuming you are cool enough to be invited). If you aren't cool enough to hang out in her circles, then its a lot harder in school to bridge those gaps and I don't have any experience there, as I didn't have a single gf until college.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

In school, or out of school?

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

both.

In school I don't really have any experience. As I said in the post just before, I was a total failure with getting anywhere with girls in school, aside from flirting or making them friends. Even out of school, drivers class is like being in school, so it might be easier to approach after and just run normal game on them while waiting to be picked up or whatever. In class (both in school and out), just DHV by showing you are funny and know your stuff, but don't brown nose, or be a show off. That's the best I have for you, due to my limited experience in the area. Sorry mii.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Bump

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

alright Rye to Rye, what about, i guess it fits to online, but Facebook sarges? how can i transform a friend approval of HBs i have seen around campus and ones i have NOT seen around campus into friendships/relationships/f-close-buddies without seeming needy? i do not want to act AFC and ask stupid questions, but i want to jog these HBs minds, get them thinking a bit. build some anticipation, and eventually get them to come out with me, or get myself to enter their social group. what do you think, Rye Lee? -Rye

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"You're so money and you don't even know it!"

*copied and pasted from another threat, my bad*

Hi Rye (and anyone else who might have some advice!):

First, some context. I'm 23, straight and male. Pretty much zero relationship history and a virgin. Other than that, I'm good on paper -- employed, healthy, not hideous.

So the situation is I met a girl through an online dating service, where I made initial contact with her. We e-mailed a couple times and have now gone out on five dates (over the course of a month and a half).

I really like her. Problem is, I haven't made ANY moves yet. We are rarely physical and I'm too chickenshit to move beyond a hug goodbye (a hug hello already seems awkward). It never seemed like the right time to give her a kiss, since we have only gone out on brunch/lunch/afternoon movie dates. Every time I walk her home, it's boiling hot outside her building, crowded with tourists and generally the SPAM is obnoxious.

Anyways, we only see one another once every one or two weeks, since she lives about 1.5 hours away for school.

I'm beginning to think I'm unwillingly transitioning into a "friend." Not sure I've been getting any indications of IOI, other than the fact she e-mails me a lot, but again -- totally friendship territory, right?

I owe her a dinner since she paid last time, so there's definitely another date on the horizon. (She asked me out, but I wasn't free this week when she was back). Any tips on what I should do to move forward with this when we meet again? I've never pulled a move on a girl before and don't know where to begin...

This should seem easy because at least we met under the pretext of a Dating Website, but I'm probably moving too slow for her...

I suggest staying away from subtle sarcasm when having online conversations, unless it is obvious enough that you can throw in a smiley and she'll get it, or if you're on webcam and can make a sarcastic face or something. I see a lot of people trying to be sarcastic online (I still do it accidentally from time to time because I'm so sarcastic in person) and it just doesn't work because you're only getting 7% of the message across. Then the girl doesn't get your personality at all and when you meet, you aren't the guy she thought you were and it creates a clash in her perception of your personality that makes it hard to keep things going the way you intended, or what comes across doesn't work well as a PUA and you can't ever get her interested in meeting.

Depending on the girl, there seems to be two ways of approaching online game. Either she is a nice girl and wants you to be nice, at least at first, that way you make her justify meeting some guy from online. Or, she's a bad girl that likes the men she meets online to be confident and cocky and suggestive. Those are the only two methods I've seen work, not saying that there aren't others, just the two I've seen guys use and work. As for openers, even the bad girls like a compliment for an opener, although the bad girls don't seem to go for the negs about what they're wearing or anything, but the good girls do. Again, just what I've seen, I haven't done much online game, I much prefer to do stuff in person, or on msn and you don't usually msn people you don't know...usually.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

That seems to sum it up nicely. You need to kick it into gear, because you are stuck in first and your engine is about to fall out of the bottom of your car.

You need to get some kino going. I'd start by making sure you're being fun and not boring and quite, you need to get some energy going in order to get kino going, because people don't like mopey people touching them. Start by giving her a palm reading if you know how (I haven't read any of that stuff, so I don't use it), or if you're in a park or something, grab her hand and just start skipping with her and don't forget that when you stop you have a perfect opportunity for some meaningful eye contact because you just had this fun little moment where you were perfectly in eachother's frame.

You could also take her to the mall and then you can hold up clothes and put clothes onto eachother, ie hats, necklaces, rings. These things all mean kino and that's what's really gonna make this go nowhere. If you get it going good, head to a lingerie store and have a bit of fun. Read my posts on mall game at the beginning of this thread.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Rye Lee, you're the man dude. Seriously. Just reading your responces, I picked up little details that will help me later on. I'll keep you in mind when I get stuck.

i was wondering if it's a bad idea to express my beliefs in spirituality, that our world/universe is linear to another universe that is out of our range of detectable sound and light wave frequencies. maybe talk about my plans to go to the shaman conference in central mexico and pay an indian religious leader to take me, teach me about the land and give me the medicine ayahuasca, and show me what they believe to be the creatures that are within the other dimension. shitty thing is if she needs me to prove myself, i will bore her with facts of science and history which does add up to this being a very very real and age old, and repeatedly tested idea, but will bore her and fly over her head.