Vulnerablility: A Female Perspective



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:22 pm 
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I actually feel a little uncomfortable talking about this from a personal PoV if it's being suggested as a course of action to be introduced to your pickup style or whatever since it trods very close the border of what is acceptable to do in order to seduce a women. Using it as a routine to emotionally blackmail a women into using any and all her faculties to comfort you does not sit well with my moral compass sorry guys.
But it's so easy isn't it? And it's incredible that so many women get hot and bothered over gloom and misery than say . . . fond childhood memories of fishing at a pond with the girl next door. Hey, whatever wets their pussy.
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Regarding negative repressed or more specifically/likely - suppressed memories!
I agree with you but I'm not sure how sticking my cock down a girl's throat after a few breast hugs is going to help me heal my psychological wounds.

1. Suppressed memories do not typically surface in conversations. (The type that tend to cause ill effects)
2. The act of 'talking about negative experiences' and the practicing actions that lead to negative consequences are often symptoms/representations of repressed memories and not the actual memories themselves.

Having said that, I would think that if the ramifications of raising these topics lead to positive outcomes, go for it. If it's a ping pong match of negativity, cut it out. . .

Pretty simple to sit here and write about it . . .


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:34 pm 
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Using it as a routine to emotionally blackmail a women into using any and all her faculties to comfort you does not sit well with my moral compass sorry guys.
Its not what I had in mind about being good with women, black mailing a women by doing so is not gaming her, its making her feel guilty for feeling sorry for what you've been through.

I dont open up to women for any of the reason I stated earlier, when I said it will help PUA its because your showing her.... you can pick up women, you can talk to them, and you can open up to them, but still you dont care what people think of you. when I mentioned DHV and status its just a bonus on the side I dont mean to turn this into a routine and blackmail the poor women!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:21 am 
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I didnt mean to infer you would do or that you would suggest it mate, but you know how people can interpret these things on these boards! I just think it's a very fine line to tread between it being real or a routine and with this subject material!

Kasabi there is a difference between suppressed memories and repressed memories, I *think* you are talking about repressed memories when you say they do not effect your actions in every day life.

For anyone interested in what im talking about:
An example of when a memory is 'repressed' it is usually a psychological defence against extreme mental damage, I could take the cliché example of being molested by a clown when your younger as an example of a repressed memory with it being buried so deep, you only have a intense unexplained fear/hatred of clowns etc etc for example.

Suppressed memory is when you take a point or time scale and consciously attempt to ignore it, but with the ability to recall it at any time, a great example would be getting over an ex, with the usual advice on these forums of ignoring the memory and keeping yourself preoccupied! With suppressed memories they are just below the surface and CAN affect you be it on making decisions,judgements or choices in everyday life.

Again as a simple example how you react to a situation is linked to the mood that you are in at the time, say if someone pulled a practical joke on you and you were in a good mood you may laugh it off or enjoy it or go along with it or it may simply just not phase you, now imagine the same thing but in the context your pissed off from a break up you havent gotten over, chances are you will react differently even with anger at the exact same event!

But yeah any positive - emotional effect, time spent, or actions taken (IE a BJ lol) on dealing with a negative memory goes in some way to diluting/repairing/nullifying it! Personally I like the idea of when I get that feeling I get some... sexual healing ;)

DOH! I'm waffling again and going OT :P


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:13 am 
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All previously discussed merits aside, I think one angle deserves emphasis. You can follow Roz's advice and show the occasional glimpse of vulnerability in a LTR. But realize that you're doing it for her (or the relationship), not at all for you. She can't help you, she can't fix anything, or otherwise aid your ability to process your issues. So if you have some shit going on, sharing it might be great for her, but dealing with it happens inside your head.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:07 pm 
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I honestly don'y believe most of you are calm enough to absolutely never be bothered by absolutely anything negative in your life, ever. Everyone has high and low moments, their magnitude may vary. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you do, all I know is that you as a human being, are an emotional creature, and an emotional creature is sure to have highs and lows in life.

And if you do care to share some of those lows along with some of those highs with someone whom you feel is close to you, what's exactly wrong? You're not manipulating, you're not faking. You're just letting it go. You're just lightening yourself up a bit.

Women, a lot of them, tell you the bad stuff from their lives. They tell you how they feel they're fat, or how they feel they're insecure, or how they feel their friend abc is a complete bitch or how their job sucks etc. etc., if you share a couple of such things to create some mutual bonding, what's exactly wrong?

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:14 pm 
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I love getting womens input on this site. Nice thread!!.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:40 am 
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Women, a lot of them, tell you the bad stuff from their lives. They tell you how they feel they're fat, or how they feel they're insecure, or how they feel their friend abc is a complete bitch or how their job sucks etc. etc., if you share a couple of such things to create some mutual bonding, what's exactly wrong?
Generally men don't do this as much as women. That's the point, we're supposed to be the stable rock for them to lean on. And they provide a nice emotional experience in return. Sure we're human and have to have down moments but generally speaking we're meant to be more emotionally stable. Women come home and bitch about their friends or co-workers, and as a guy your job is to go "mmhmm... wow you're right, she's crazy... geez that sucks... mhmm" etc. A guy is not going to come home every day and bitch about his co-workers. If he does, his lady is going to feel very unsettled.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:58 am 
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Wow... Roz are you a writer or something like that? I really enjoyed reading your story it was clear that this one thing left a strong emotional seal on your soul. And it was also very useful. Thanks for the post.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:19 pm 
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Women, a lot of them, tell you the bad stuff from their lives. They tell you how they feel they're fat, or how they feel they're insecure, or how they feel their friend abc is a complete bitch or how their job sucks etc. etc., if you share a couple of such things to create some mutual bonding, what's exactly wrong?
Generally men don't do this as much as women. That's the point, we're supposed to be the stable rock for them to lean on. And they provide a nice emotional experience in return. Sure we're human and have to have down moments but generally speaking we're meant to be more emotionally stable. Women come home and bitch about their friends or co-workers, and as a guy your job is to go "mmhmm... wow you're right, she's crazy... geez that sucks... mhmm" etc. A guy is not going to come home every day and bitch about his co-workers. If he does, his lady is going to feel very unsettled.

Obviously dude. I'm just talking of opening up like that once in a while. So as to create a stronger mutual bond. A sense of equality.

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