approach anxiety has been crippling me and keeping me form opening sets time and time again... i know what to do no problem its just that second guess i have right before i go in and thats what keeps me from so what do you guys do to help out

Approach anxiety will always be there. everytime u go into a bar or club or anywhere in ur life, u see a gorgeous girl, ull get that feeling in ur stomach.

but all it takes is one good night out, or one good day where u realise how good the rewards are.

even the best pick up artists in the world get nervous. but they know that everything is worth it in the end. if u want the girl, u needa accept those nerves and just try.

_________________
Only some, ever know the secret

Just physically force yourself to move over to her and use one of your openers. If it doesn't work, your inner game was wrong.

Basically, through enough experimentation, you will get a keener sense of where you need to focus to bring your inner game in line.

But it just takes hard work. That's all.

It's like anything worth doing - losing weight, building muscle. It requires you to constnatly be motivated to keep reading about the kinds of results you want and how you want to achieve them, and keep experimenting, and keep doing things.


I'm not gonna lie to you - you may walk up to her, use one of your openers, or just use a direct approach and just say hi, and she may scoff or say something casually and walk away (she's already spotted everything she needs to know in your negative body language), just brace yourself and do it. Each time, take pride in the fact that you've done it and you're going to do it again and learn from it as much as you can each time. Just keep reminding yourself that if you do nothing, you won't get anywhere. So every attempt is gaining experience, and is a step forward.

Dude we have a lot less to fear in our lifestyle than some people in other much worse off countries do! Remind yourself of that and convince yourself not to be so much of a wuss.

I disagree with the part where you said "approach anxiety will always be there".. thats not true. You can get to a point where you have no approach anxiety at all. If you have approach anxiety its because you are still too outcome dependent.

To the OP.. I suggest the crash and burn tactic to cure your anxiety. What you do is agree to open 50 women. PERIOD. The goal is not to fuck any of them or to be successful.. the goal is simply to DO IT. Walk up to 50 attractive women and say "Hi" and try to start a conversation. If you do that you have succeeded. Regardless of the outcome.

By the time you get to the 5th or 6th woman you will find most of your anxiety has faded or disappeared. By the time you get to number 20 you'll be having a blast and probably getting numbers.

You just have to DO IT. The world will not end. Remember that over 200,000 women turn 18 every day. So there is no reason to fear rejection from one girl.

_________________
Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

I have the same crippling anxiety. But Conker is right. Practice makes perfect. The more you do it the better you get, you learn more of the subtleties and you start to GET IT. You understand why it works, why it doesn't. Failing makes you learn, success makes you unstoppable. With every action you take, you build more confidence, even with a shot down, and that confidence eventually turns into success.

It's not just in the dating realm or the picking up realm that this holds true, it's true in all facets of life, at the job, at school, in sports. In life in general.

It's a long and difficult road, filled with many challenges, but whoever comes out of it in the end is a new man.

thats wrong. man if me and you walked into a bar. and i told u to go try ur luck with that stunner in the red dress, and u didnt feel any nerves then ur one of a kind. Mystery has a video on youtube u might wanna check it out where he speaks about approach anxiety. he explains that even tho hes been in the game for soo long and considered one of the best, he gets approach anxiety when he goes out. the only difference is that he knows the rewards that come from approaching, soo the nerves cant hold him back

_________________
Only some, ever know the secret

I guess everyone is different. I don't have any approach anxiety because I don't care if I get rejected. I know there is always another hot girl. And another. And another.

What is there to be nervous about? 200,000 women turn 18 everyday.

_________________
Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

If approaching is crippling for you, jumping in may not be the best idea for you. You can get over approach anxiety in three steps.

Eye contact
Smile
Open

Make eye contact with the target, this means she's looking into your eyes too. Then smile, and maybe even add a nod or gesture a hello to her. If she smiles back, her body language is telling you to "come talk to me." So say hi to her, and if she's not within talking distance, gesture her over to you. You don't want to go out of your way to go talk to her. This is too needy.

There are also little fun things I will do if I am not the right state to approach. Playing kid games is nonthreatening, and those that are not willing to play along are just bitches. Think of it as a girl disqualifying herself, rather than rejecting you, because that is what is really going on here.

One game I play is I point to a girl across the room, once I have her attention, or find myself in her field of vision. Then I make a heart sign with my hands. If she rejects this, or refuses to come join me after a laugh or a smile, I turn it into a broken heart and make a sad face. This makes the girl laugh either way, and others around her notice this and see that I am a funny guy, making it easier for me to approach them later, and giving them a reason to approach me.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

I really like the rest of your post, but this part is not nessecarily true. It's cool if you can get her to come over to you, but being man enough to approach is completely valid.

By "out of your way" I mean catching eye contact across the bar, and then looping around to go talk to her. When im at the bar, i'm with people. I'm not going to cruise around the other side of the room just to talk to some girl who looks good. A lot of girls look good. I don't mean to say to not approach.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Find a bum... and ask him for money. LOL If you can succeed at that, you can do anything

AA in all its forms is simply fear of rejection, it's hardwired into your brain for evolutionary reasons, rejection could seriously effect the continuation of your gene line in the days when we lived in small tribes of a couple of hundred people so nature give you AA so you didn't rush in were angels fear to tread and took a more cautious approach instead.

The Achilees heel of AA is "rejection" itself, you can only be "rejected" if you offer something and it is refused. The secret is our old friend the opinion opener.

1/ Think of an opinion opener of interest to girls that is congruent to the environment you are in. Topics like body language, Psychology, who the best looking woman in the room is etc.

2/ Approach on your own with none of your friends watching.

3/ Assume rapport (see my earlier post)

4/ Flow straight into your opener to set the frame.

5/ Don't say anything else just look. If she likes you or is curious she will keep the conversation going.

6/ There is nothing now to reject, if they do not answer or start talking to someone else then they are just plain rude and have disqualified themselves from your interest.

7/ In which case say "you don't put yourself across very well" Then turn and leave. You have rejected her.