I am double posting this, original thread can be found here i-won-the-game-a-collection-of-some-of- ... 74067.html
If there is such a thing as a game, I would like to claim that I won it, by being very successful along the way and finally marrying the woman of my dreams. I am ready to admit my retirement, but before I’m doing so I want to provide my best advice to my friends here at the PUA forum. So enjoy, and I hope you learn something.
After almost eight years as a PUA, about one year as a dating coach, in and out of relationships, multiple short term relationships simultaneously, casual encounters or to put it simple, years of success with many women I have finally completely stepped down, put my charm on the shelf and settled down.
About two months ago now I married the woman of my dreams, I am now 27 years old and I discovered that if you meet enough women in your life you are bound to meet at least one that completely knocks you off your feet and that you fall head over heels in love with.
At least that is what happened to me.
I wasn’t even looking for love when I met her, I was only looking for more fun with just another girl, I was already seeing four other girls at the time, but already on the first date I could tell that she was different, that I felt different. However, it took me quite some time to realize it, during which time we were dating but not exclusively, but I found myself telling the other girls one by one that I didn’t have time to see them, after two months we started dating exclusively, and since then my life has only been better and better for everyday that I spend with her.
But enough about my love life, let’s talk pick up, because I’m sure that’s what you really want me to tell you about.
Below I have summarized some of my best and most important advice for future Casanovas, you can find even more advice in my thread “10 things I wish someone taught” me linked below. Any additions I will make to this thread will probably be posted in the “10 things…” thread.
So enjoy!
(Please post any questions you have in any of the two threads since I don’t respond to PMs.)
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First of all, your pick up style, should really be YOUR style, do not try to completely copy a style from someone else, you are in some way different from everyone else, which means that no method written by someone else will work 100% for you. Try to keep this in mind when you read other peoples materials (such as you are right now) do not follow it strictly step by step like building instructions for an IKEA bookshelf, try to improvise a bit, pick out the best pieces from the text/advice and adapt it to your skill set in a way that applies to you.
If you approach a girl with someone else’s words you will not give her a chance to fall for you, so when you run out of material and start to improvise, it will appear as if you have a split personality, think about that.
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Don’t be afraid of opening and talking to girls, there is no place or time that is really inappropriate as long as you adapt your approach to the girl and the environment. What is really the worst that can happen? She might tell you she isn’t interested, oh well, move on to the next one. Do not fear rejection, fear of rejection is the gateway to loneliness, and loneliness is something worth avoiding, so dare to challenge yourself and a few rejects along the way to a happy life won’t matter at all.
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You don’t have to be at nightclubs and bars to pick up girls, I always found myself having more success with the girls I met on my way to the club than the girls I met in the clubs. In the club girls get hit on all the time, it is easier for them to brush off every guy because they just feel like being with their friends that night, while if you approach them anywhere else, you catch them more by surprise and off guard, and the chances that you have a good opportunity to really charm her are a lot better. The big advantage with clubs and bars is that you can usually open many girls in a short amount of time, and that girls who are single and are really looking for someone usually go there. Just don’t neglect any place, because every place is a good place to pick up a girl.
My personal favorite is parks and squares where people sit and relax, people are in a good mood and if you open in a polite and charming way, most girls will want to talk to you.
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Money, accessories, cars, house etc.
I can’t say that these things don’t matter, but I can say that they don’t matter a lot. It is also very different where the girl is from and what culture she grew up in. I have found that California girls never really care, I have told girls within five minutes that I was a broke student and they don’t seem to care at all. However when it comes to girls from the East coast (especially NY) I find that they would never go in to a relationship with someone who can’t support them financially, however if you are only looking for sex, they don’t seem to care about who they sleep with, only who they introduce to their friends and family. This is a very broad generalization, but I am mentioning it so that you will keep this in mind when you approach girls, that depending on where you are, these things may matter. It might answer a few questions on why you got rejected. However, if you are charming and skilled enough, theses things are rarely a major obstacle, just another challenge.
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The girl’s current place in life will matter a lot when it comes to her response to your approach, I will give you a few pointers.
She just got out of a relationship: She either wants to rebound with pretty much anyone, or she feels that she never want to see another guy again.
She hasn’t had sex in a really long time: She will be longing for company but not for sex, be gentle with her and take it slow, girls are not like guys, if they don’t have sex for a while, they kind of forget what it feels like and they desire it less, guys are the opposite.
She is on vacation: She usually feels no restrictions or boundaries, move fast! Girls on vacation are the easiest targets for one night stands.
She is unemployed: She is most likely looking for someone who can help her out in someway, either financially or who has lot’s of contacts in the right field, or sometimes she is just looking for emotional support.
She recently got a promotion: She feels very secure and independent, your best chance is to be funny and cheery, and she will see you as an amusing addition to her already great life.
The main objective is to try to figure out quickly where your targets current place in life is and adapt your pick up style accordingly.
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Don’t be another face in the crowd.
To stick out of the crowd in an extreme way is usually not a great idea, it usually turns you in to a joke, or a clown if you want.
But to dress and act like everyone else will not give you any attention, I personally like to overdress, or if I am going to a really fancy setting I dress down a little, just enough to stick out of the crowd so people will notice you. Just make sure that you have a reason for why you are dressed the way you are. I used to go to shitty dive bars in really nice clothes, when people asked me why the hell I was so dressed up I just said, “I just felt fancy today” and people loved that response and all of a sudden I was their new best friend. Try to consider where you are going and try not to look like everyone else. And even if you would en up dressed like everyone else, you should try to act in a way that you would catch the attention of the women, for example, smile a lot, appear as a person that would be great to hang around.
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Match her energy.
High energy approaches is very popular among guys on these forums, but they have a low success rate, when they do work they usually provide a reward very quickly which is probably what makes them popular. There are some problems with a high energy approach, for example, imagine yourself a bit tired, maybe a bit hungry sitting in a chair sipping on a watered down beer, up comes some random guy, cheery as he just won a million bucks, asking you all sorts of questions and trying to dance with you, wouldn’t you just want to kill him? I know I would.
I have had lots of success by just trying to match energy level with the girl I am approaching, it is easier to motivate yourself to talk to a stranger if they meet you on your level, keep that in mind!
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Let the girl talk!
The easiest way by far to pick up a girl is to let her do all the work, instead of you rambling on about random crap trying to impress her, try to get her to talk about something she is really passionate about, then all you have to do is to be a great listener, comment, joke and keep the conversation running, she will feel a connection to you instantly and you have to do minimal work. I remember one time when I was talking about cat shows with this girl I met in a busy pub, we talked for an hour about her cats and then left together that night, all I had to was to act as if I was really interested in her favorite interest.
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Believe in yourself.
I usually say that confidence is 80% of your game, if you don’t believe in what you say or do, you will not have any success with it, this goes back to what I said early on about finding your own pick up style. It is easier to believe in what you say/do if it is your own words/actions. Try to never hesitate and always be devoted to what you are doing, confidence is everything!
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Wings are there to help!
A few important things about winging, if you go out with a friend and you want to help each other to pick up girls, make sure you really do that, and I mean on every level, a wing should be ready to help out with everything from removing obstacles, providing motivation, and backing you up in a fight against a jealous boyfriend. My worst experience with bad wings was when I was at a bar talking to a super cute Latina, her fat jealous cousin shows up and tries to remove her from me. I have five friends standing next to me, watching my entire conversation with the Latina, and no one steps in to help me out with the fat cousin, I ended up managing to get the number anyway but I couldn’t really move further than that because of the cock blocking cousin. All my wings would have had to do was to step in and “pick up” the fat cousin, at least get her charmed enough so that I could do my thing. Remember to always help out your wings and make sure that they will do the same for you. It can be hard to single out and seclude a girl from a group without having a friend that entertains the group and distracts them.
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Don’t ask for anything.
If you ask for something you are always leaving her the option of saying “No”.
In most cases actions speak stronger than words, leaning in and kissing her is a lot hotter than asking her if you can kiss her. How many times have you seen James Bond asking a girl if he can have sex with her?
Sometimes though you have to use words, in these cases, don’t ask, tell! Don’t ask a girl for her phone number or for a date, tell her “Give me your phone number” or “Let’s go out next weekend”.
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Don’t be clingy, women love an independent man.
I have experimented a lot with this, especially when it comes to sex, if you are pushy and try to hard to get some from a girl she will rarely ever have sex with, and if she does it will be her just giving in and letting you have sex with her, it won’t be hot and she won’t be in to it. Instead, play her game, send out sexual signals, hints and teasers, but don’t push for sex until you can see that she really, really wants it, sure it takes a little work, but the reward is always greater and I promise you that you will get laid a lot more!
I once wrote a thread about morals and pick up, but it also involves a bit about how to get laid easier just by building up a bit of tension, so have a look.
whats-a-girl-to-do-vt55812.html
Actually, here is my whole tension theory for easy lays explained in a very through lay report, so enjoy!
viewtopic.php?p=291628#291628
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CHAT
