Does gaming win as many enemies as 'friends'?



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:12 pm 
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I've been doing this a few months now and without a doubt I do not class myself as an expert, and I'm probably getting some of this gaming stuff wrong. But I seem to be having more success, but at the same time gaining more enemies by, for a change, not being a 'nice guy'.

Today, I've had a girl delete me on facebook because I called her by her 2nd name off facebook. One of her lad mates sent me a message saying to 'back off her'. I've barely spoke to the girl, never pestered her like an AFC or nothing.

I'm not sure whether she's put something on her status about me or sent it to him privately, I'm hoping the latter. But I seem to be gaining a few more 'enemies' as well as getting girls attraction. I'm just wondering if this is normal? I actually don't have a clue what I did wrong with this girl to be honest. I wasn't even gaming her as such, just not being as afc as I used to be...

Suggestions?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 9:01 pm 
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You're doing it wrong.

Guys read up some game stuff and they think "oh ok, so before I was being real nice, so now I'll just do the opposite and insult women and then I'll get chicks"

It doesn't work like that.

The point about being an AFC is that you're being TOO nice and doing it really obviously to try to (i) buy affection (ii) keep building rapport (iii) never risk losing rapport by teasing (iv) never risk losing rapport by sexually escalating (v) going out of your way to do nice things when she's done nothing to deserve them

You can still be a nice, friendly guy. Just do good things when she does things you like. Don't always agree with her, be willing to make fun of her a little, and be man enough to sexually escalate and communicate that you are interested in her. However, if you actually hit a real commonality, it's OK to say "hey that's really cool you're into that!" as long as it's in the context of a conversation where you've also said "omg you're such a DORK for liking that!" as well.

Get it?

I seriously do not ever neg. Ever. And bitches love me ;-)
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 9:18 pm 
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Thanks. I wouldn't say it was even insulting. I wasn't being arsey I was just being a little more confident. Maybe it come across arrogance, thanks man.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:08 pm 
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Ive definitely seen some underlying hostility from being... er 'gaming', better to say 'cockblockism' from guys, purely for the fact you are getting further with girls that they secretly like or dont have the balls to go after.

For example, recently a girl I am chasing after has been told, by a male acquaintance of us both, that I have been going around bragging that Ive been fucking her and that she is 'my personal spunk bucket'. Of course now she is pissed off with me and has set me back somewhat, im sure I can smooth it over since it's a lie and is so out of character it's not even funny. I have always been friendly and polite with this guy and it's only since 'her' that this has suddenly started happening.

I never ever ever ever talk about specific girls, everyone is a unique and special secret encounter, even when friends and my team members are demanding of lockeroom 'chat'. I will only ever mention something from a point of anonymity... ie a funny story without names attached etc etc. I have to do this since there are alot of bored wifes and gf's around in my rather non big city limited area of operation, and discretion is key.

I never fuck any of my mates or friends over, I always check who they are after and facilitate if possible and avoid if any problems arise.

I always try leave women better off than when I find them.

I assume Im well liked, I go out the way to 'afc' help people for example:

helping someone move house when his 'inner circle' friends were busy, another guy I know broke his leg and couldnt do his job - he was self employed and did outdoor work, I stepped in for 2 months and in my spare time took on his contracts with another guy so his business wouldnt go under. There was absolutely nothing in it for me.... well thats not technically true I get enjoyment out of selfless helping...is that really selfless then?? *brain meltdown* and I reap the rewards of that.

BUT still I run across this hostility and it's by and far purely to do with hitting on chicks people secretly like or have failed with, because in their heads your invading there misconceptionally marked 'territory'.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:13 am 
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@ rystar: Just remember one thing: The girl has to like you on some level in order to sleep with you. If she can't stand you, she won't crawl into bed with you.

@ biggus: I hear you! I've been getting a good bit of that since I started playing the field more. When I'm around them, I just AMOG them and the girl will usually pick up on what's going on. Also, every time I've gone after a specific girl in the past, all the other chumps who had no shot kept backstabbing me to no end. In my experience, don't even acknowledge any of their BS, do not sink to that level, and don't feel the need to 'correct the record.' Generally, the less the AFC knows you the less you need to worry. If he's closer to you, maybe you should choose better company. One last piece of advice: be in good standing with lots of girls, no matter what your current/former relationship. No matter what some chump might say, if girl-on-girl talk reveals you're a good guy you win.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:26 pm 
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I go in with the mindset that the girl is gonna feel better via the interaction than she would do if I ignored her. the only enemies I have ever had are before Pick Up and they were either jealous, usually of my MMA skills or just had some fucked up reasons to dislike me, but fuck them.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:36 pm 
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Quote:
@ rystar: Just remember one thing: The girl has to like you on some level in order to sleep with you. If she can't stand you, she won't crawl into bed with you.
I actually recieved quite a few IOI's from what I could tell. I just read the situation wrong I guess on this one girl.


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