Okay, so i met this hb9 last week and got her number. We have had a few short text conversations over the last week. After reading through this, and other forums, if I have any shot at this girl I need to escalate. I would really like to meet up with this girl but through text is not the best way to go. I suck at talking on the phone just because I never do it, well with girls anyway.

Anyway, in the middle or at the beginning of a text conversation, after a few texts.. What is a great text transition that will prepare her for a phone call for example.. are relationship is too textual, im gonna call you.. (Something like that. im just looking for your best!)


Also one more question. I have no idea if she is into me but would she enjoy talking on the phone? and what should a good phone call be like (length wise etc) small short convo then ask her to do something (nevermind.. Tell her were doing something )


Thanks!

Hi man!!

why are you afraid of just calling her? Call her and tell her you want to meet. Btw, texting each other should not be seen as a conversation . Reading such things pisses me off a bit actually (but that is not really your concern). Same thing with... transitions. a transistion to me seems like you are a bit afraid of doing something. Its like hiding something, like you are ashamed or afraid of it.

Just call her and ask when she can meet. I have rarely texted girls i met. I like calling instead of texting.

I do agree with you that you want to meet her and escalate then. I think this is the way to go.

good luck!

ciao

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

I agree completely. However, I did read somewhere that a call out of the blue may lead to the girl not picking up or an awkward conversation but if I opened with a good funny text then used the line im gonna call you etc it will make her ready for the call...

Ah, you have a good point!

but she already has your number and knows who you are. If she doesnt pick up, she probably is busy. I dont think she will ever intentionally not pick up because she is shy or thinks its awkward or weird.

For me, if a person doesnt like that i call her for a hook up, i drop that person. To me, its a serious turn off as i think its just a simple phonecall.

I am just saying what i think. If you wish, you can always try with a transition and make her ready for the call.

The way i do phone calls usually is as following:

her: hello
me: hi, its me,
her: 'hi' or 'hey, how are you' or 'oh hey!'.
me: ifs he asks how i am, i answer and i ask her the same question. Then i state my business: hey! i am fine, thanks! how are you?
her: fine, blablbla
me: i just call you because i want to hook up on thursday, friday, monday, whateverday. does that fit you?
.... and so on.

dont make the call to long. its a phonecall. I like it more then texting, but still, its only a phonecall. I cant give you transitions though, dont have any good ones as i dont like them

lots of luck,

ciao!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

Thanks. Yeah I agree, if she already had my number than it shouldn't be a problem.

Is there a best time of day to call? If they dont pick up, leave voicemail or let it be?

As far as where you normally meet up with a girl? What are your best places?

Also, as I have read in other threads, long texting conversations send you straight to the friends zone. I have had her number for about a week and had about 2-3 smalls convos of no more than about 4-5 messages each.. Am I already sinking into that hole?


Sorry for all the questions, really want this one to work out.

DO NOT and I mean DO NOT leave voicemails unless you call leaving a gap between the times and she still flakes on you. And dont blow up her phone, she'll think you're crazy. Call around 8 or 9, thats when people are usually done with work/school/dinner. And no you arent sinking into the hole.

It's all about the content of your messages. If its boring platonic stuff then yes, you could end up in the hole, but if you're talking about something flirty or risque it's to your advantage. I had a very long text convo with a girl about massages (she got one that sucked and I told her I was good at it) and then it lead to us comparing whether the pill or condoms are a better value. We ended up hooking up at her place a week later because she was hosting a halloween party.


This happened before I delved into this community, my advice to you is just to take it easy, not worry so much, and just go with the flow.

And dont apologize for asking, thats what the point of this thread is. I know I'll probably be posting in here in the future as I'm new to this as well.

Thanks for the response. As far as I know I have been playing it cool. I havent been blowing up here phone with texts, I have only initiated twice over the last week. I would just like to progress next time I talk to her and not fall deeper into the whole. Thus calling her would be the best way.

The texts havent been completely platonic but havent been completely flirtatious. It does seem like she does like talking to me though with exclamations, smiles etc.. (could be her personality) The convo normally ends with her not responding.. what does this normally mean? For future reference, how can i be more flirty in text without going over the top?

btw I am planning on calling this girl very soon (prolly tomorrow evening), because if I dont do it now ill never do it, or ill ruin anything I had with her..


I am not the type to just hook up with girls then call it a day. I would really like to take this girl out, get to know her etc..

Fortunately in my city i have a cool downtown. I happen to work downtown so I know more about it and have access to some cool stuff (example: rooftops of hotels, free parking etc..)

I think a solid time out would be to take her downtown, get some ice cream or whatever then take her to the roof look at the stars and whateva.. does that sound solid for a first time out? or is that over the top, should the first time out be something quick or a get together with friends like at a bar? I could always save that rooftop idea for another time but hell I never have had any dates lol.. I know I always over think things but is sunday evening a good or bad night to take a girl out?



Also when I do call I will have small chit chat then get to the point. Since I have never done this before how do I ask her to make it clear I want to hang out just me and her? Do I ask her ( Hey do you want to go out this sat?) or (Hey what you doing sat.. *nothing* okay, I'm taking going out!) or...

Once thing I didnt think about, if she says she cant or if she already has plans (whether she does or not) what would be a good non afc response to that?



I appreciate all the help I have received over the last few days!

My tip is to implant the idea that you want to go out.

"Hey..Blalahlahalaha"

"Blahalahaljahal"

"Oh, yeah, I'm heading to X this weekend with some friends if you want you cant ag along."

Then closer to the date, my friends mysteriously flake.

_________________
When you've done something right, nobody can be sure you've done anything at all.

That sounds alright, but maybe something a bit more clear of a one on one

I'm in a similar situation as you are. Thanks to the convenience of texting, I rarely ever find a need to call a girl unless she doesn't have a texting plan. This girl I'm trying to meet up with doesn't have texting on her phone. She has one of those flip phones where you can see the individual pixels of numbers as you dial it on the screen- it's absurd. I used to freeze and go blank whenever I pick up the phone to dial a girls number- but recently I've picked up a few things that I've found to be particularly helpful.

1. If you're not comfortable with talking with girls on the phone, I recommend that you call them when you're out and about. In other words, don't wait until it's 8PM just because you assume that she's available at that time just to set up a date. It's much more difficult- you will feel the anxiety, and she will hear it from your voice. But by calling someone when you're on the move, it's easier because your mind isn't entirely on the call itself, and not to mention that you also save time- and if she doesn't pick up, she will call you back and you can set up a date then. If she doesn't reply within 24 hours, move on.

2. Don't have conversations on the phone. A year ago I was trapped in a phone relationship with this girl for hours each day- I mean, we had great conversations, but we could have had even better ones TOGETHER at SOME PLACE. Her place, my place, who knows? Use the phone to SET UP meetings, and ONLY to set up meetings. Once that objective has been accomplished, tell her you got to go and hang up. If she insist on talking, put the cap at 5 Minutes and tell her you got work to do.

An hour ago I called this girl- she didn't pick up but here's what my convo would have gone if she did:

Me: Hey _______, I'm having lunch at ________, come join me.
If she agreed, excellent. If not, I can ask her when she's available- but often that puts people on the spot because they suck at scheduling. So instead,

Me: Okay, no problem. How about this- think about when you want to take me out for lunch, and give me a text or call when you have a day in mind.

That's it.

The beauty with this is that you can use that line even if you have no intention of seeing her. You can be with your buddies at some random place and you can ask her to join you- the point of this is that it removes the anxiety from your mind and lets you set up a meeting without all the self-sabotaging regardless of whether she says yes or no.

_________________
"Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate, our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
-Muhammad Ali

1. Make it a rule to always call the girl the first time around, within a day or two. If she doesn't pick up, leave a short funny voicemail.

Whether she does pick up or not, be funny and random. Tell her you're inspector Hamilton from the NYPD and you're asking for information about a female con artist matching [a description of her] that stole $100,000 from a local businessman [a description of you] at [the venue/time you guys first met].

Tell her you're a talent scout from a local modelling agency and you're calling her for a job offer ... to be a janitor at the office and clean the coke-stained mirrors in the toilets and pick up empty champagne bottles after the parties.

2. If she doesn't pick up and doesn't call you back, wait a day or so. Then ping her interest with a random text message "I just met your twin" / "omg the most random thing happened" / "I had a dream about you..." / "have you been turned into a cat? Cuz I just met a cat that really reminds me of you. Text me so I know you're ok..."

3. Still nothing? Add her to your list of guys and girls you go out on weekends to and invite her to a very low-pressure thing you're already going to. If she comes, great, if not, you were going anyway so you lose nothing.

4. If you get her on the phone, have a bit of a joke, time constraint, have a conversation, and talk about a mutually agreeable day 2. The more you find out about her initially, the easier it is to think of something you'd both enjoy doing (rather than dinner/film = BORING).

5. The best way to avoid flakes in the first place is to already set them up with her at the time, and then exchange numbers simply in case one of you needs to change plans or is gonna be late. Then you can text the day before just to build anticipation.

6. Give her a nickname and USE IT. It differentiates you immediately from all the other guys texting her. If she flakes on you, her name is Flakey McFlakerson from now on. Now she has to PROVE to you she ISN'T a flake, i.e. by coming to SEE YOU

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Lol,great stuff blondguy:

My most used part of your game is the nicknaming;I never call a girl by her real name.

But when it comes to call anxiety,I use a pretty solid remedy to totally eliminate that:

Before calling the target,1st call someone you're already super comfortable with:your sister,brother,ex-,buddy,etc.

Have a silly laughter with them.

Then immediately after,call the girl in that same state of humor & lightness.

Worst thing is calling a girl for the first time with a heavy-serious vibe.

The air,your tone & vibe should be light & fun.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
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Right on. Love all the suggestion. As far as nicknames.. any suggestions if don't have a solid one yet ?

Yup, great advice!

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