| More from Paul Janka's book "Attraction Formula". Paul Janka is best known for being a NYC PUA who has slept with 100's of women. This chapter talks about dealing with rejection:
"Rejection and How to Deal with It
First of all, you are not getting laid if you’re not getting rejected by some women.
In fact, the more successful the player, the more he gets rejected (scratch head). That’s because it’s a numbers game, and a good player is taking shots all day long, maybe fifty times a day. He might get fifteen good numbers, and he’ll have sex with three of those girls. Not bad for making some small talk here and there. It’s a myth that the pros don’t get rejected. The difference, however, is how they deal with it and the context in which the “rejection” is revealed. I say revealed because the rejection (or acceptance) is there the moment you engage her. There’s a small chance you can change the state of her position, but most of your work will be bringing what’s latent to the surface.
A good player doesn’t come on too hard with a direct “Can I take you out
sometime?” line. He uses all the indicators of the interaction, including subtle things like body language, eye contact, effusiveness, and compliance. Most good hustlers don’t ask for the number before they know it’s in the bag. If you have good mental armor, meaning you can take straight rejection, you can plow through the crowd, but that’s rarely the most effective maneuver. Better to ask some probing questions and allow her to disqualify herself, thus
avoiding a “rejection moment.”
Questions that reveal: Where do you live? (maybe too far; vacationers are good), Do you go out a lot? (probably single), Are you a student? (weak relationship, stakes are low). I usually have fun when I finally do ask for the number: “Since you live all the way downtown and I’m up here, should we even bother trying to meet for a cup of coffee?” Puts it in their court. The more humorous and casual you keep it, the better. Since girls like to be entertained, bring out your performer. If she has an engaging minute or so with you, she’ll want to keep that feeling going and the number holds the promise of a re-connect.
Avoid “hard” questions that force them to make a yes/no response. The point is to
avoid situations where they have to choose between losing face (“Yes, I am a pathetic single woman.”) and eliminating the opportunity in front of them, which is you (No, I’m not single. I have a serious boyfriend.). Reading between the lines should tell you that the worst thing you can ask a woman is “ARE YOU SINGLE?” If you must, ask obliquely: “Are you available to meet for a drink?” or “Since neither of us is married, I think meeting for coffee is allowed…” Keep it non-committal and fun; you are a breeze in her life lifting her up like a leaf. Nothing heavier than that.
You will also develop a detachment as you become better at this. You will learn
to engage women in the lobby or waiting room of your psychology. You’ll invite them into the emotional foyer and have a discussion with them but you’ll learn to keep them out of the interior of your house until they’ve demonstrated some key qualities. This skill, which you will automatically develop as your lifestyle changes, allows you to interact with many people (not just attractive women) without venturing too much of yourself.
Some say this makes a man cold, uncaring, sociopathic, etc., I say how can we afford to truly live in a modern cosmopolitan world in which all of our interactions are fully transparent and in which we extend ourselves completely – emotionally, financially, and physically? There needs to be a personal distance if you’re a hustler. You can still have a rich life with your male friends, family and if you choose, some girlfriends or, eventually, a wife. But when it comes to random cute girls on the street, be careful. If you don’t practice some reserve your reality is going to be pockmarked with soured expectations, cancelled engagements, and other disappointments." ---Paul Janka
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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think
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CHAT