I just got home from my friends 19th b day, I learned alot about what i need to work on but i dont know which direction to take to fix it.

Background: Its been two years since i saw alot of my highschool friends, i was not popular or smart in highschool and was pretty much just a follower. This was the first night i saw alot of them again. I have changed alot since highschool im currently in second year university with a 4.0 GPA and a career ahead of me. I have worked alot on my confidence and speaking ability over the last year.

I got to the club around 9 i greeted everybody that acknowledged my presence, everyone was sitting at two tables, one was full the other had one spot left put no chair, so i went searching for a free one using small talk with everyone who might have an extra chair at their table. I got the chair and returned to the table, i only knew one person there and as soon as i sat down i introduced myself to the group which went over well. This is where it started going downhill i found that i could ask lots of questions about my highschool "friends" lives but they would respond then turn away and had no interest in talking with me. They didn't even give me a chance, however new people i met where more interested, but i found it hard to keep up an interesting conversation, because i didn't have much rapport with them.

We started ordering shots for fun and i got more intoxicated, when we got back to our seats the dance floor had filled up and everyone was dancing.

Note: Personally i dont listen to alot of "normal" songs as i prefer techno and i didnt know the words to the songs being played and had to do my best.

I can't dance and i know it, im tall and skinny and stand out on the dance floor. But i went out there and did my best. I found that girls i didnt know personally didnt want to dance with me and when i asked them verbally and non verbally, and they directly said no.(what do i do about this?)(I dont wanna avoid the problem i want to fix it) I just sat down with some friends (all males) and tried to make conversation but it wasn't going well. The only other thing that happened for the rest of the night was two cougars actually opened me and asked me to dance im 19 and they were in their late 30s. I was already not having fun, so what could go wrong. I wasn't attracted to either of them, but went with it for one song. Shortly after i left.

Note: I wasnt trying to get any #s tonight, and was just hoping to have fun. This didnt work out at all and right now im thinking it over and trying decide what i can improve on.

- I need to learn to dance (any suggestions of what type of class)
- I need to know what i can do to keep the fun rolling in a club when conversation drops off
or I need to have a more interesting conversation next time (topics appreciated)
- No matter how much i read it wont help me if i cant do it, I need more real life experience
- Should i ditch everybody who doesnt respect me? and not try to talk to them unless they make the effort themselves or am i doing something wrong?
- Learn normal club songs so im not so out of place

What i learned from this
- No matter how smart i am or bright my future is I will never be happy unless i solve this major problem in my life.
- You may change but some people don't give second chances
- Dont drink as much even if you arent having fun
- I like day game alot better (but i dont want to avoid this problem i need to confront it)

Note: i wouldnt have stayed as long as i did if it wasnt for my friends b day

Comments, tips and recommendations very welcome. This is my first fuck up report.
Thanks,

~Exact

I would suggest learning pop-locking as it is very rhythm based instead of hard technique and training as compared to things like breakdancing. As long as you keep up with the beat, people would be impressed (my high school's dance crew's pop-lockers always had more cheers than the bboys). It is also a very versatile dance type; you can pop-lock with almost any kind of music. But if you really can't dance then I suggest not to, as you might end up looking goofy and it gives people more reasons to reject you.

As for conversations, when I get the vibe that the table is getting boring, I just take my stuff and say "I'm bored, I'll just walk around and maybe come back later". It makes people think that THEY are the ones who bore you. It is also a good test to see if they are infact interested in you. If they are, then they won't want you to leave or would start to find reasons to follow you.

Hope that helps!

Thanks bro,
When i wrote my post i was under the influence and had major loss of confidence I don't feel so bad about it now. I checked out some videos about pop locking it looks sweet but difficult im going to try practicing it, I might also try taking a class and i heard that salsa is great for pick up.

I like the idea of just leaving because its no fun, it really shows that you wont put of with it, and your independent. I should have just started sarging the upstairs for fun but I pussied out. I'm working on NLP right now to build more rapport next time i go out.

Thanks fenixz


~Exact