Hi guys,

i know this thread started ages ago but its kinda pertinent.

Although I have been "dating about" this girl is obviously still on my mind etc.

I stopped talking to her a while ago but over the past month we have been chatting etc culminating in us goin out for a few hours last night for a few drinks. She told me last night that "great news she broke up with her boyfriend etc". She was saying how weird it felt hanging out with me so shortly after breaking up with her boyfriend n stuff. Not sure how to take that? I dont know whether she is still seeing the guy I saw her kiss a few months ago.

She still knows i like her etc and yesterday she was like I do like you then a few minutes later said that we are mates etc (but in context of a sentence - what else was she gonna say? we are lovers?) but then again I told her that she was like a little sister i never had etc.

She says she wants to hang out again maybe next week she suggests? and I told her i liked seeing her - she said the same. had a couple of hugs at the end tight hugs kissed me a couple of times on the cheek etc - but trust me thats more than we have ever got to.


I need to kinda escalate now cos I dont want to make the same mistake as last time. I wanna make it natural etc. Its difficult tho cos whenever we meet each other its not like a continuation of the last time we saw each other - its as if the situation or the comfort level resets itself.

By making impact on her. Examples:
1.) For all arguments, you tell her things that put her mind to work. You never get angry or call her names, you just say things like, "You do this with every guy so you can have control. Nice manners by the way." And leaving. Something like THAT really makes a girl think.

2.) You borrow an item from her and actually hesitate on giving it back to her. You build up the tension.

3.) Giving her an item with a significant meaning. Works best when the item you give her is a similar item you got back from her. Example: Both going to the mall and finding a kiosk where they sell necklaces. You both buy a necklace and exchange. OR, you go to an amusement park. You both get portraits drawn of yourselves and then exchange.

4.) Doing romantic acts that girls dream about from movies. Making stuff come true like that is very powerful.

Some good stuff but the only thing i would do and have done is number 1. We argue alot we always seem to argue alot but then we act like nothings happened. We dont talk about it and maybe we are just too comfortable with each other but at the same time there is awkwardness. I make her thing. I always keep her on her toes. I do make her think - she has said so herself.

The one thing she said was that I am not actually that nice. I thought i was too nice you know the whole "nice" guys finish last motto. I thought I was one of those but clearly im not.

Wow. simply surprised. After reading this whole thread I realized i was in the same exact situation for the last while. literally same exact thing (only instead of work; school, and instead of bars; just hangin out/whatnot). but seriously bro, one-itis much? i mean i am no pua, but i think its a little too late to go back. you have already put in so much effort into this girl that she wasn't worth, and now you are putting in more. just end it and move on go for other girls out there you will feel a lot better for it. she doesn't deserve you having disrespected you like that, and it seems like you guys have awkward situations after everything you have been through, why waste more time?

but this thread also helped me understand what I went through, and i wish i had taken a lot of the advice that was offered because i am sure it would have worked. but seriously dude.. move on.. theres countless fish in that sea.. just learn from your mistakes and use the (im the prize, not the option) mentality in the future.

P.S. -in my case i actually got laid though, , but only thanks to a little liquid friend of mine hehe.

I have to agree with the post above. JohnnyBoy you've spend to much time and effort on her. Your situation reminds me a lot of mine. In my case, the girl I worked with became my gf. We broke up, somewhat tried to get back together but didn't end up working. I've spent to much time on getting this girl back that although she's the coolest (this is prob my one itis still talking) I have come to the realization that I have to drop it for my sake!

I can see based on what you have said that she's not worth it. Even if you do end up together, she doesn't seem like the stable kind. What if she plays you man and get's back with him? Think about how you felt when you knew she was with that other guy downstairs at work. If you end up together and then break up, it will only make it weird for you at work every day. It's not worth it, go spend your time on someone else that is worth it. She is NOT the only girl in this world.

Best of luck Johnny