so i wanted to ask what yall thought about this routine or whatever u want to call it - and was wondering if anyone had anything else to say to keep a girl wanting ONLY a friend with benefits situation

i have these 2 girls that im in a friends-with-benefits situation
they both have admitted that they feel like they are "falling for me" etc.

they have both never been in this type of relationship (and are both out of LTR's within the last year) and i got the feeling they were starting to feel guilty or dirty about it. They also both know that I am in this relationship with someone else (they acutally both have toothbrushes on my sink). Something else to note is that I do generally enjoy hanging out with these girls - I am not just using them for sex - i am not an ass.

anyways they have both asked me about "this" - referring to our relationship

this is how i have replied to both... via gchat - so i dont know how well it would work in person.

HER: what is "this"
ME: "this"... wtf is "this"? Enjoying life? having fun? RELAX. Ur issue is that u have been in a serious long term relationship for ur entire adult life basically. u dont know anything else. and now that u have these strong feelings for me (and i dont blame u)... - u feel like u need to qualify it as a "this". just take it how it is and how it goes. the only thing i worry about is that u are falling too hard and trying to qualify this as a serious bf/gf relationship. u arent ready for a serious relationship thats why u dont know how to deal with or make sense of how u feel about me does that make sense?

HER: YES! How do u always know what im thinking?
i think i am stuck on the fact there are rules when you break up with someone.. so my thing is this ok.. me and you!?
should i be doing this?
don't get me wrong i want to be doing this more than anything!!
is i ok that i feel the way i feel?
is it wrong?

ME: this is all u need to know
and all u need to worry about
# 1 Are you my friend
# 2 Do you have fun when ur with me
# 3 Do you ENJOY having fun with me
# 4 Do you want to see me again
# 5 Do you ENJOY having sex with me
And
as the days go on
go backwards from 5 -1 on that list
and we de-escalate our relationship accordingly
this is what i do
this is how u stay HAPPY.


So far this has resulted in them both opening up and having no problems with the relationship. One of them now actually "feels more free" and wants to have a 3some with me (which i have never done and damn psychd about - any tips on closing this???)!

im not sure about the long term - one girl i said this to 3 weeks ago and the other last week.

But they have both brought up what i said on at least one other occasion.

THoughts? COmments? Suggestions?
and while ur at it.......any tips on closing the 3some?

thanks a ton ahead of time

Ace

Anytime women pass off IOI's for a threesome, all you need to do is point out another target at the venue and say is "Three's Company Babe!" I've actually seen where my HB actually turned into my pivot/wingwoman in picking up a potential 3-mate for the night.

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Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?

Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

You could do that and end up getting them back to your pad and them freaking out on you and you getting frustrated and confused.

Threesomes are very difficult. Its important to remember that it has to be the girls fantasy and it cant come off as your fantasy and your using them to furfill it.

Search around here there is a few good posts about threesomes.

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Ratio theroy...

Exactly! If a threesome is the fantasy of both HB's...Then all you have to do is sit back and direct the show. Otherwise you'll fall into an awkward Q&A with both of the HB's.

That's why it's important to get all IOI's from her first, then bring her into the game to find the 3-mate.

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Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?

Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

thanks for the replies guys

since my last post - we have talked about it some more
and she is definately down for it to happen - it is def her fantasy as well
we are both acitvely searching for a 3rd
she actually has a bff HB that has done it without her recently
so now she REALLY wants it
we are trying to get her bff HB to do it with us - that would be amazing

ill let yall know how it goes

thanks
ace

SOOOOOOOOOOO
this girl is addicted

she told me shes "head over heels" for me
she keeps asking me if i have feelings for her
and i reply - why cant we just have fun when we are together, i dont want a girlfriend right now i dont ahve time for it blablablablabla

she keeps coming back for the sex -and i cant say no...im only a man...

but she wants more and i tell her no
how long can i keep this going b4 she goes crazy...

I REALLY WANT TO HAVE MY FIRST 3SOME WITH THIS GIRL
but i feel like ill have to be her bf arrrrrrrrrrr

anyone? any advice?

_________________
In addition to PU, I also offer my experience with psychological disorders (OCD, Depression, etc.) to the communitiy. Feel free to ask for help/advice via PM.
___________________
Love many>Trust few>Do wrong to none
___________________

ACE

Ahh this happen to me dude, I got rid of her, she started to opening up to me, that she loves me and she desires me. I just got rid of her dude. I read about this on my own. It turns out that when a girl is in a F/W Bf, is because they have low self esteem, And it your the only source of approval that she got to make her feel good. Dude just dump her. You don't need her.

hey foxx
thanks for the advice
but i had actually gotten rid of her about a week and a half ago.
she told me she loved me - but her exbf of 5 years came back and was begging her to come back.
she askd me what she should do! - i told her im single and plan to stay that way for a while so she should just give him another chance. win win for everyone
it was fun while it lasted
shes been replaced already haha

_________________
In addition to PU, I also offer my experience with psychological disorders (OCD, Depression, etc.) to the communitiy. Feel free to ask for help/advice via PM.
___________________
Love many>Trust few>Do wrong to none
___________________

ACE

Dude my bad then, I didn't notice the date, Good for you kid.

here's the thing bro, you have obviously done everything perfect thus far. So my only thing is that you are seeming to fall back into old ways with putting up with the questions that they are throwing around. Believe your own shit, Believe your own shit. That's the only advice you need, just believe in what you are saying to them.

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i lust for jessica alba, but now since she is preggers. I am lusting for Nicole!!! It's New Year's Day. It was Ben Franklin who said, "Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."