I have not been approaching at all. Tonight a set opened me, but then looked like they did not want me anymore very soon after. I blamed it on myself, but that is just my pessimism filtering reality through a self blaming lens. I have been going out to open mic's at bars, and to a cover band at an irish bar where people dance to the music or stand and listen. The point is just to distract myself whenever I feel depressed, and also get out and do enjoyable activities. It's free or $5 like tonight. It was 80's costume night. I just had an afro wig. I danced by myself for an hour, then before about to leave, a blonde, brunette and a guy, one of the girls pulled my wig off. The brunette said "I'm sorry," and I made a motion like I am don't know what to do with the wig and like I don't want it anymore so she should keep it, and then played with the wig a little and made a motion like I am going to put the wig on the blonde, she said "I'm sorry I hope I did not embarass you" I was embarassed and they were moving away about done talking to me. I was aware that I was kind of overstaying the set, but I pointed to the blonde's hair as she was moving away and said oh is that real? By the way, I made her lean in first, and then leaned in a little, though I should not have, I was nervous and self conscious, felt like I have to think on the spot to save my face, because they saw I was embarassed, and she pulled a bunch of her hair away from her had with her left hand and said, "here wanna pull it?" as I was walking away, I accepted her offer and pulled it, maybe a little too hard lol until I felt some resistance, but at moderate speed, and made another face like a smile/amazement. I wanted to laugh it off with them as I leave. The thoughts in my head were 'They are expecting me to have fun and play along, but now they see that I am embarassed and they just want to be done with me, and it's my fault that they are moving away from me so fast. I better correct this situation, but oh God, I have no idea what to say, I have to think fast, and smile, and play along." I was feeling self conscious, tense, and insecure. Right now, I am accepting the fact that I feel insecure and I am not going to fight it. Socially anxious people are always thinking about themselves when they are in a bar, and right now I am trying to accept how I feel, and just be interested in other people and not try to make people like me.

There were lots of guys walking around looking for girls, and hitting on them, like they'll stand behind her and grind on her, or touch her as she is walking and give her a look, or stand and keep saying stuff in her ear, or go around acting alpha male. I felt bad for all these guys, cuz most of them were getting rejected, and when they got rejected they quickly moved away, and also two white alpha acting dudes got some dancing out of two asian girls that just walked in, the girls were ok with the kino and danced along, but then they walked to another corner of the bar, and the guys followed the girls. If a girl walks away, don't follow her! It means she don't wanna be around you anymore, it's not like you are going to seduce her by your persistence. You just look desperate/needy and creep her out by stalking her. One alpha guy who kept going around approaching different women, and a hot chick even danced with him for a minute or two a little and then left to another guy, told me "This bar sucks." I thought he was maybe willing to talk to me so I said "What's your favorite bar? You know the bar on Main St is good.." The guy said "Oh my favorite is in Manhattan" probably trying to impress me, and walked away. See, so this muscled well dressed guy, was not interested in talking, kept getting rejected, kept trying to impress people, probably thinking that everyone is focused on him at the bar (hence telling me about some bar in Manhattan) and I think all this is because he was there to pick up women. If he was just happy on his own and not chasing bar girls, he would not move around the bar so much, and would not say something to me and then walk away. Needless to say, I was happy I am not hitting on women at bars anymore. However, I am going to try to start talking to people again, this time not make them like me, but just to practice my social skills, and be more verbally postive and optimistic with people I talk, and to take an interest in people, and accept that I am going to feel insecure. I went from approaching all out a few months ago, to learning to be happy when by my self and not approaching at all, to now I am going to try to make a balance - be happy when I am alone and not feel desperate for people, but also approach people naturally, keeping my hands in my pockets if I feel like it, not trying to make anyone like me, just practicing saying hi to people who look like they would not mind someone approaching them.

Oh by the way, I am not interested in pick up right now. I do not trust the gurus anymore. Their stuff does not seem to work for me at this point, because of how insecure I feel and how much I do not accept myself. I am focusing my energy on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (Dr. Burns's books), Learned Optimism (Dr. Saligman's Books) because I took the tests in his book and it showed that I am a severely pessimistic thinker. Now to say more about that, being a pessimist means that when you encounter a negative event (for example a woman rejects a second date), a pessimist blames himself, thinks that the cause of this negative event is pervasive meaning that it affects all other aspects of his life and will cause failures in other things he tries, and that the cause will never change, so the bad luck so to speak is permanent. The optimist is more realistic, blames circumstances and others for the negative event, and things that cause of the bad event is temporary and will go away. Dr. Saligman has exercises that you do on paper that you learn to think differently. Oh and lastly, I found a CBT therapist who is in-network for my health insurance. He is very straight forward, and he is helping me disarm the negative thoughts that pessimistic or depressed people think. The therapist recommended me taking a dance class, that is like series of weekly classes with the same people every week. This way not only would I get to know people and socialize, but also holding a woman and being in a group would be good for social anxiety. I told him that I know lots of guys including my dad who have taken dance classes for years and not only did not learn to dance or meet women, but also spent a lot of money. However, I told him I would not overanalyze this and just do it. I am going to take a few dance classes where people have to dance in pairs and see what happens.

Went to Contra Dancing. The lesson went quick and it was hard to keep up, although I caught the rythm sometimes. I felt like I really stood out and people noticed how bad I was and how self conscious I felt. I worked all day and did not take a shower, so I left early because I had body odor and did not want to spoil it for other people with the smell. But I'm glad I went, first I danced in the back, then I held hands in the circle for three songs. It was hard to keep up and I kept missing the beat. It was mostly elderly seniors, four nerdy guys, and two girls who were obviously new and looked shy. I could have approached, but I was afraid of looking desperate and afraid that they would be surprised and would not understand what I approached them about. Gotta do some CBT on these thoughts, it's good I wrote them down.

Went to a contra dancing class. It was $15 per class and I peaked inside, saw a couple of women and a male instructor jumping in place. I will do some dvd instructional dancing at home, prepare a set of gym pants, and come back next week and take the class.

Went to a night club to distract myself (whenever I get depressed a little, I go out and do something to distract myself.) There were girls, but way more guys, and after midnights it was so crowded I kept getting hit with elbows, backs, and shoulders from everywhere. It was great for social anxiety, and by hour 2 of dancing on my own, I really loosened up and moved however I wanted without worrying how I looked. I did not approach, grinded a girl for a short time who I thought grinded me, but I was not sure, it was so crowded, so I bailed out after a few seconds to be on the safe side. Guys were approaching directly - there were maybe two drunk chicks who went from guy to guy, guys literally grabbed them and pulled them in, but it was an unappealing site - a girl surrounded by 8 guys all trying to get her. And she would be very sexual with different guys - touch their face, grind them, grab and pull the guys in herself. I don't like that, because it plays with my feelings too much. The body language says she likes you, and she chose you, when really it does not mean anything. The guys were going around looking to get a girl to dance with them, chasing girls that danced with them and rejected them afterward. And other guys stood looking disappointed staring at other guys getting some ass and I imaging feeling like losers. The direct approach worked with many girls at the bar - a girl I thought wanted to dance alone, as soon as a tall guy came up to her face forward and was like "Let's dance!" and she was all over him. Girls got approached directly twenty times, and it's an ugly scene, with guys being like a bunch of hungry, desperate, uncivilized dogs. I felt insecure watching the guys hit on girls because I felt bad for how desperate the guys must feel, and watching the girls dance with guys makes me uncomfortable because I am uncomfortable with the intimacy of it, and also I feel like I am dancing alone because there is something wrong with me. I successfully distracted myself, had fun dancing, the next day I felt good, and I'm glad I saved my self respect and learned to have fun with myself. Months ago, I would go out and be tormented with anxiety and feeling desperate when thinking about approaching sets, or felt disappointed with myself if time went by and I did not approach anyone. Now I feel self confidence that I can go out and have fun on my own, and don't feel desperate anymore. I do find myself wanting girls to notice and approach me. I still feel somewhat desperate and needy for the girls to like me, but that feeling is much less, and I am more confident in myself, even though I still have approach anxiety.

I got a few dancing DVDs at the library. Now I am going to clean out an area in the living room and set up a tv (I lived without a television three years ago and lived without Internet for 8 months to focus on life, and stop procrastinating). I am going to be learning moves and rythm, and at the same time going to Contra Dancing, Square Dancing/Walts, Old English Dancing, night clubs, and bars where I can dance.

I've been putting the advice on how to treat myself like a good room mate and I feel much better. I come from work looking forward to drinking with a red and a black light (like in a night club) and candles on the table and soft music in my kitchen all for myself. I clean the table and dress it up with a table cloth. The first thing I did this morning was clean up, and vacuum. I am inviting friends for tea and lunch on the weekends at my house. If you live with your parents or room mates, you can still do the same.

My CBT therapist told me to be more optimistic, positive to other people; to be more confident at work, and to smile and talk to coworkers more. I did that yesterday. I came up to my manager, said hi how are you and smiled (usually I avoid him in the morning), I was training a new employee and I was telling her what to do confidently (but not too pushy) and she seemed to flirt with me and enjoy it. One time she stood close to me watching over my shoulder and her boobs touched my back. Is that an IOI? My coworkers teased me about me being unusually cheery because of my little trainee, but I said "you are embarassing me, give me a break" and laughed it off. Next day I told my female coworkers that I had a good yesterday because I had a trainee with me. They seemed to find it amusing, and because I was open about and OK with my slight embarassment, it was fine. But I am more attractive to women at work, they do flirt with me (and other men) I do stay on the safe side and don't usually flirt back, or in a shy way, and talk professionally, it's mostly my facial expressions that are flirty.

Oh man I fail!

I went to a group job interview that went well, but they handed out name tags.
After that finished it was such a nice day in the city I thought I might do some aproaches.

I was in a store an approached a beautiful young girl. Anyway I stutters an bugged out pretty quickly but she said something curious, "where is your menga section" puzzled I said I didn't work there. She raised her we brow and I ejected

Approached another girl trying a situation opener but clearly she didn't want any of it.

It wasn't till I got home that I still had my name tag on lol.

"Oh man I fail" - negative self statement. You are blaming yourself? What exactly did you fail at? Getting a woman? Umm.. most women don't want to be "gotten," they want to be loved and not won like a prize. Redefine the definition of success to just approaching a woman at a store once every few days. Don't too often, as you don't wanna be rejected over and over or feel desperate. Oh wait. You already approached a woman at a store. Success!

Wearing a name tag is cool. I think it's cool. And most people are too self centered to care if you had a name tag on. Worrying about it is social anxiety and low self esteem. Get the books by Dr. Burns and Dr. Saligman that I wrote about. They helped me with all this. I approached women at stores and felt embarassed about wearing a name tag once, and thought that I fail. But now I think more positive and realistic. I go to contra dances and smile and talk positive to people, and don't approach women much, but just talk to people around me, or if I stand alone, I am comfortable alone. Women there love me. I'm telling you, even the hot chicks smile and wink at me and like touch me on the shoulder - they cant resist!

"Approached another girl trying a situation opener but clearly she didn't want any of it." So you sound pessimistic, and like most lonely people you see this "rejection" as one in a long line of rejections that will stretch in the future. Women do not like being approached in general (I feel tense and defensive and insecure when anyone approaches me), and if you are feeling desperate, which is if you are into PUA, you like most of us here are feeling desperate, then the woman senses that and it drives her away. I found that quitting pick up for a while, and giving up on dating, and just doing what it says in Intimate Connections by Dr Burns has for like the first time helped me feel attractive and I am now seeing women talking to me! at the dance and touching me on the shoulder and back.

My advice is get a CBT book, learn to change the way you think, get some hobbies, treat yourself like a good room mate, go to contra dances, do yoga, cook for yourself, dress better, groom better.

Sorry for all the assumptions and preaching to you. I tend to get bossy and know it all at times. I have no idea who you are, and when I say "you" I am really talking about myself and my experience. Like if I was giving advice to myself lol.

So I went out dancing on my own, to a band. Same bar. It was packed, a few girls hooking up with guys, but lots of guys approaching and getting rejected. I tried to get eye contact with girls, but could not find a girl to dance with. I danced in one spot, and did not approach girls.

When the dance was over, and the lights were back on, a slutty girl asked me about my hat on the table and took it away from me and wore. This happened to me last time when a two set with a guy one of the girls stole my afro wig. Somehow, I don't know how to play along, and they see that I am uncomfortable and give the hat table. In retrospect, I could play it like "Oh try the hat like that.. oh yeah this looks gangsta.. now smoke a joint.." some imaginative play like with little children lol. Whatever, the lesson is I am uncomfortable with flirting, feel very tense and on the spot when girls flirt with me openly like that. I don't trust them.

Went to same bar that turns into night club after 10pm on Fri and Sat by myself. Sat at bar, danced by myself, the dance floor was packed. Girls were grinding and making out with guys, and going home together to hook up.

Most of the guys were not dancing with a girl. The guys who got to dance with a girl did it by a direct approach - coming up to a girl with a straight face, and dancing with her, or grinding with her. One good looking guy came up to a girl from behind, looking all cool, and started grinding her, she kind of backed away and left him after dancing with him for a little while. I think some guys do eye contact first, some do a hand spin, and others just go really direct. I have a bad feeling when I see this. I don't like most is that guys look embarassed and disappointed when a girl does not dance with them. I might be projecting my own feelings on other people. There are so many guys who are not dancing with a girl, and most of them are either walking around not having fun. I was on the dance floor in a shoulder to shoulder crowd. It’s sad and annoying to see guys push through the crowd, with a straight face and motionless body, just walking, looking around. They would have a lot more fun if they danced like I do. Or the guys will dance and try too hard, looking like they worry about how they look (trying to look good dancing, hoping to catch girls’ attention) Or like this one guy, he dances with a smile and by himself, but he dances next to girls and tries to get their attention, trying to show off. He actually got a decent looking girl to make out with him, but she was probably very drunk. He even number closed her, fool, she obviously does not like him, and is not going to give him a day 2. So now I feel conflicted. I want to get some ass from the girls at the night club, but I don’t want to sacrifice my dignity and approach them. If I approach them, I feel desperate and I feel like I am begging for them to dance with me, and I am afraid that I am not good looking enough for them to want to dance with me too, like I want to dance with them, but they don’t really want to dance with me, and if they do dance with me, then they are making me a condescending favor. I still feel insecure about interacting with women at the bar and on the dance floor. I feel desperate when I think about approaching them, and I don’t want to feel desperate again. I like, I am proud that I can walk into half empty dance floor, and stand and dance by myself and not be embarrassed or try to show off – do it naturally. I like that while other guys are looking sour when they are alone without a girl, I am having fun and don’t need anyone to be happy and have a good time on the dance floor. When I dance, I still long for girls to notice me and come up and dance with me. I know girls usually don’t come up to guys at the night club because it makes them look too easy. I’ve had a pair of girls dance suspiciously right in front of me, and one pair did that all evening and then high fived me on their way out. I feel insecure about engaging the girls, like with a hand twist or by going direct into full body contact. So I feel scared if a woman starts to dance with me, because then I feel like I have to perform, and I am scared that if I am not good enough, she will turn away and I will lose and feel that I failed. Dr. Burns in Intimate Connections says to stop chasing bar girls and do hobbies and social events rather than go to bars and discos. I am still going to go out, I just won’t chase the girls.

So, I’m going to keep going to contra dances and taking dance classes so that I become ok with holding a woman and dancing with her without feeling insecure. I will also learn salsa dancing because there are bars here where people go around dancing salsa with each other. And when I go to the dance club, I will again dance by myself, but when a woman dances near me, I will smile and make eye contact and offer her my hand, and if I get compliance I put my hand on her waist and see if she will grind with me and etc. I won’t do any kissing because these bar girls kiss the nastiest dudes when they are drunk, and I won’t number close her or follow up with anything after the dance. This way I preserve my dignity. If I get rejected, the women will have to move away from me, I will not physically move following women. This way I will also look more attractive. When you have planted your feet and happy where you are, and you are not going around looking for other people to entertain you, people can see that you are good enough for your self to have fun with your self, hence they wanna be around you.

So for dancing, I took some how to dance freestyle dvds at the library and practiced in my living room. On the dance floor, I can dance for three hours straight, even four. After an hour or two, I become a much better dancer, electricity goes through my body and I really feel the beat. I don’t know whether I dance well, probably not, but I enjoy it. I want to learn to dance, because it is so enjoyable to dance from the heart. Most guys think of dancing as having to learn to follow steps to get it right. I think for me as a beginner, it looks bad when I try to dance. It only looks good when I dance naturally, like improvising the moves, using feelings and intuition to dance, rather than thought and logic.

The therapist who is teaching me to think like an optimist, more positive, told me to be more positive toward people. Smile more. So I smile at the bar all the time, even when I am by myself. He says I try to be perfect, and that I need to give myself more credit for what I am doing. Right now I am struggling with keeping my apartment clean, writing down how much I spend on what, and doing the ABCDE exercises from Learned Optimism by Dr. Saligman, the Triple Column Technique from Feeling Good by Dr. Burns, Things Done Today list, and the Pleasure Predicting Scale from Intimate Connections by Dr. Burns. I have been doing the written exercises maybe twice a week, and I think I should do it every day. It’s not realistic for now though. I keep falling into this negative thought cycle where I think I should exercise, work out, keep the apartment clean, study, etc. and that I am not doing it almost at all. In reality, I am doing a lot, just not giving myself credit for it and making imaginative failure where there are none. Sure my apartment is messy now, but last week it was clean, and most people in their twenties have a messy apartment and don’t even try to keep it clean.

The therapist also told me to be around positive people. I think the guys in the pick up community whom I met, not all of them, but many of them are negative pessimistic thinkers. When I talk to them, I feel desperate again. They don’t make me feel good about myself. They keep thinking they need to go find women to become happier and think that they are ugly and unattractive. They hate that they are short or that they are not of white race, and they keep thinking that they have to change themselves in order for the women to like them, that they are not good enough already.

What I love about Learn Optimism by Dr. Saligman is that it gives logical instructions on how to think like an optimist. You look at the Evidence, you consider the Implications, you consider Alternative explanations for negative events, you blame the circumstances and other people for negative events, and credit yourself for good events, you think that you are a lucky person. I’ve been doing that and I’m feeling the best I’ve ever felt in my life.

You seem like two different people? One, who goes around looking for opportunities to talk to girls and open sets and the other being a sales rep for Dr Burns???Hmmm

I really enjoyed reading all of the first page and most of the second page of your comments but the third...what happened to you man? You either have gotten really down and in despair or are promoting books!!

Rocky

Rocky, I am trying to be positive and optimistic to girls. I don't try to create attraction. I have never had female friends, so I'm looking for some now. I go to contra dances and to an improv group. I go out to bars and night clubs by myself and dance by myself. Women approach me sometimes - they will steal my wig or ask to borrow my hat or ask me if I am alone and invite me into their dance circle, or dance in front of me. I just feel uncomfortable around women and have all these irrational thoughts going through my head. Do they like me? Am I going to lose them? How do I look? Do I look weird? I am uncomfortable interactin with women, so once they open me, I push them away. Have you ever tried talking to a shy person? It's useless, isn't it, because they are not telling you what they think and feel and you are not a mind reader.

It was exciting going to bars and approaching women at book stores and coffee shops, but it never worked, and I was left feeling desperate and insecure. Now the guys in the pick up community whom I have met, they are stuck and they tend to be shy, controlling, pushy, insecure, fearful of being honest, and not accepting of themselves. I have not seen pick up really work for guys who are not very good looking!!!! Pick up was a good start, prior to pick up I was afraid to go into a bar. As a result of pick up, I am much less socially anxious, and now I dance, and now I understand how not to hit on women. Building fast attraction is a fantasy. You build it up over months and years off the field, and when people see you, it looks like you are radiating light, you are so attractive. But you can't mimic these behaviors and look attractive. Being attractive is all about inner game. Being and optimist and a positive thinker is a big part of it. Dr. Burn's and Dr. Saligman's books have been recommended to me by therapists and they are the only tools that have helped me feel less depressed, happier, and more optimistic, and less socially anxious. But you are right, I have been avoiding approaching women, even though I go out four times a week to different events.

I feel like I am sacrificing my own dignitiy when I approach women. Someone told me to just fuck my dignity. Another person told me to just ask a woman to dance, or dance next to her then spin her around and if she says no, then move on to the next woman. The problem is that I am more emotionally insecure and sensitive than a 10 year old girl. I shall follow your advice and go out and ask women to dance at the night club. It might be a dick fest again, but if I run into a woman, I will dance with her.

My epiphany of the week is the rational responses to my negative thoughts. The thoughts are that I am 25 years old and that I am too old to have young and fun experiences like dating different chicks. The response is that I am 25, not 75. I could have a gf for the next fifty years. I did not have enough fun when I was younger, therefore I will not take the fun I have now for granted. While other people may think that going out dancing at a night club on a Friday night is routine, I will enjoy the opportunity to have fun. While some people may think that contra dancing is routine and full of old people, I will enjoy the opportunity to dance and be around people. Another epiphany is that I am telling myself that I am going to have sex with a woman at some point within the next year. No rush. I will go on some dates for coffee or to see a movie with a woman first. Also I am looking for more female friends and being positive and optimistic and taking an interest in people.

_________________

"We Go Truly Hard, Styles Like Julia"-Hoodie Allen

Apparently sociable guys just go around and talk to women, but the difference between me and them, is not only that they have social skills, but also that they just go and get to know women, they do not second guess themselves like I do, worrying, "Does she like me? Does she want to get out of this conversation? Am I saying something wrong, am I embarassing myself?" They do not second guess themselves, because they do not have to - they read the body language, context, tone of voice, and facial expressions so they can tell whether or not the woman likes them and whether or not she wants them to keep talking to her, or be approached in the first place. I am not good at reading people.

Another thing that is very important to understand, and this is one of the many things that I learned in group psychotherapy with a therapist who has like thirty or forty years experience doing group therapy (he is old), is avoidance. Avoidance is when you avoid telling a person what you think and feel in the moment, I am afraid of intimacy, so I rarely tell people about my emotions. This is why guys who are avoidant and who are afraid of intimacy with women cling to pick up artist and why it feels good for them to use it. When you use routines or say things like negs or tell stories that make you look good or whatever other stuff the Mystery and the like tell you to say to make you look more attractive, you are avoiding saying what you really think and feel in the moment, the thoughts and associations that come up right then and there. So for example, if you see a woman, instead of saying what is on your mind at that time, like you normally would with someone you trust like your family or a friend, you use an opener and essentially present a fake personality. This means that you are not creating a genuine relationship with the woman and people can intuitively sense it.

Another thing I have been doing is I have been going to social dances where older people who are in their forties, fifties, sixties, and even seventies and eighties get together in a dance studio and dance Waltz, contra, tango, and old vintage dances from the past. I have been told that I am a bad dancer and that I am a good dancer, this is because most of the time I am not in sync with the beat of the music and I cannot lead, and have a difficult time following. However, when I listen to music and stop thinking and do it naturally, there are times when I really nail the rythm and dancing feels very nice. Anyway, the thing is that to dance you need to learn rythm, because without rythm no amount of dance instruction is going to help you dance socially. When you have rythm, it's a lot of fun, it's easy to dance with you, you enjoy it immensely, and you connect with your partner. Also, I have noticed that many men in bars and night clubs do not have rythm and that most people at night clubs have not had any dance instruction! Dancing with the older and elderly women is just like dancing with young women - you have to ask them to dance, often they do not want to lead and will not tell you if they do not like something. Although there are some women who are assertive and confident, not in an offensive way, just matter of fact, and they have told me that I am a bad dancer, or that my right hand gets tired and slides down her back and touches her boob and makes her uncomfortable. I've been doing that to a young girl at another dance, thinking it was her fault for leaning on me, or that maybe she is pressing her left boob against my right arm, but actually it was me not holding my right elbow straight up and my hand firmly on her lower back. Also people have been giving me advice and one guy told me the key to Walts is to hold the right hand on the womans back firmly, to press against her back, and hold the arm strong and stiff, this creates a centrifugal force and helps her tell which way your are going. I tried it, and kaboom, immediate success, much better dancing!

I have been going to bars where bands play live music and just swaying and dancing by myself in place. This has not made me look weird, I think nobody at the bar cares! People notice me, but they do not give me much thought at all! It is very liberating and it is giving me a lot of confidence in my body and in my dancing, because whenever there is music I can just swaying in place or move my feet back and forth, and kaboom! I am having fun with myself and I do not need anybody to entertain me, I am having a good time, and everyone may as well not be there. This is the type of independence and confidence that makes a person attractive, when you are having fun and happy and you are not looking people to fill you, you are sharing your own happiness with people, and enjoying people for who they are, seeing them in a positive light.

Salut!

Fuck man, you need a shock therapy!
There is NO difference between you and them. They were like you and then started approaching, they may know nothing about body language and so, but they have so much practice they sense it subconsciously. You will, young padawan.
And the most important one, "Do I care?". You are not a fucking missionary! The main goal in your life is to be happy, not to other people to be happy instead.
And you want to accept it? Ask yourself.
Welcome to the Game. But you missed the most important thing: you described the learning process. Once you have some successes, you internalize the actions that went good for you. Surely, maybe you will change your personality. But hey, deep inside you are fucking amazing person, you just don't know how to project it. This whole PUA thing is about creating the opportunities to discover your superman within. At first you will be a copyboy but then guess what? You drop all magic tricks, all the routines and internalize what fits your personality. All the good things are inside already.

Creating a genuine relationship? Come on, every approach should be in order to find a wife? Practice until you find the One.
And here is the moment you magically turn a knowledge into ability.
When you are born, you are shitty dancer. Then you attend dance lessons, the teachers make you do this and that because it works. Now your dance is decent. Does it mean you are fake person or you just projected yourself to the world the way you feel you are?
And you took it personally, as an insult, right? Laugh about it but learn you lesson, exercise more until your tired right hand is gone. Not literally, of course. And don't hate the messenger.
And it felt good, didn't it? That's why you are here, to ask questions and follow the instructions.
A light bulb, yeah? Compare it to the first paragraph you wrote. Where do you wanna be?

Man, read my journal and compare the amount of good things I've done to the bad ones. And I don't know a person who doesn't like me. Read Tucker Max and know that he is happy with all this experience. Hey, he did so much shit in his life and he has huge social circle, many friends and happy life. This is of course the extreme but nice to compare.

Man, shake your head, go out and don't care what happens. You don't need an advice on pickup, you need and advice how to enjoy your life.

You have to understand, you will not jump from frustrated person to superhero. You don't want people to consider you as a fake person so you stay in this state you feel miserable. Ask yourself if that's the way it should be. If you want people to be gentle and to like you the way you are now - implant some additional neurons to their brain. Or project your personality in an attractive way. What's less complicated?

Salut!

Surielx.

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An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
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