have a stable career, nice car, nice flat etc etc, but no girlfriend. honestly it just seems like im doomed to fail in this area and the most frustrating thing is that i cant figure out why. im pretty sure its not the way i look, i am a pretty attractive guy and i can sense that girls are attracted to me. i always get looks and im sure that most girls really want to talk to me. but its almost like they expect me to do something first, n i just dont know what.

i will admit, im pretty shy, esp in groups and i think one of the reasons that i am shit at convos is because im afraid to express myself in case people think im weird... irrational? i know.

i think people r sometimes put off by me cuz maybe i look a bit unapprochable at times... i rly dunno

i just find it hard to know how to act around girls... any tips just to even make me a little more succesful in this area will b appreciated. i just want girls to enjoy my company.

peace

Hey,

"i will admit, im pretty shy, esp in groups and i think one of the reasons that i am shit at convos is because im afraid to express myself in case people think im weird... irrational? i know."

Don't worry about what people are thinking of you - they are most likely wondering what YOU think of THEM. This is true 99% of the time. Everyone is looking for some kind of validation in some way.

If people tell you that you're wierd, then take the comment and self-depricate. Every natural seducer that ever lived was good at taking the piss out of themselves, don't be hard on yourself though, just do it playfully!

Just have fun when you're around women, you don't really NEED any of the routines or canned material found here or in 'The Game'. All you need is not only to be yourself, you must be your BEST SELF. Shine like a million watt light bulb, tease, touch and play with the girls. Bust their balls, take the piss out of them (playfully) and just have loads of fun. Be the fun, flirty outgoing guy that you probably are already.

Confidence is key - INNER GAME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD

-Soul

Firstly, nobody is doomed to anything. You're taking control of your situation by at least coming on here and asking questions. You're willing to learn and want to improve. If you take some ideas from here and practice them, you will improve.

Secondly, let this sink in - EVERYBODY is thinking the same thing you're thinking. In fact, everybody is so goddam worried about what other people think of THEM, that they haven't even noticed a single thing you've done or said! So, to really set yourself apart from the pack, just exercise your free will of self-enjoyment. Be having fun yourself, and spreading positive energy around, and people will naturally gravitate towards you and want to be part of the fun you're bringing. The "don't give a fuck" attitude towards others perceptions of you is powerful, and very attractive.

Thirdly, you don't have to be the dancing monkey making lots of jokes to be successful with women. Read some 60 years of challenge, he might be more your style. If you feel like you get a lot of IOIs from women, then when you notice a girl, look at her, smile, and hold eye contact. If she smiles back, or breaks eye contact downwards and blushes and/or looks back, then YOU'RE IN. Just go over there, introduce yourself, hold the handshake for as long as possible and give her the most seductive "fuck me" eyes you can. Chances are she'll do everything to make conversation and all you have to do is tease her a little bit, kino escalate, and ask some questions at the right times to get her to talk about herself and connect with you.

_________________
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Not true.
Not true.

Worry is an emotion that doesn't require much thought. You get that sick feeling and generally, your thoughts are blank at the time. Usually, it's only after the situation ends that you begin to rationalize your feelings: "I felt like that because _______." And we often rely on generic reasons as a defensive mechanism. Well . . .I was nervous in that social situation because I was worried about what others thought.

Here's a few more:

Work place: I was worried due to pressures to perform.
Flying: I was worried because I think the plane might crash.

Want to tell these guys to just have fun and go with it? While they are hyperventilating and their hearts are racing, would you advise them to read the 'corporate manual' or 'airline safety manual' and simply don't give a fuck? Doesn't work.

I don't care HOW CONFIDENT you are, if somebody tossed you a violin and told you that you need to perform a solo at an orchestra with some positive and negative reinforcement involved with your performance, you're going worry. You'll get up on stage and sweat your balls off. Who doesn't get freaked out? Well, it's the guy who's been performing with the violin since he was 7.

Who doesn't sweat his balls off in social situations? It's the people who've been doing this forever. Ever meet those chicks who'll sit there and talk your ears off about mundane crap? You think they're worried about what they think of you as they tell attempt to you kill you with a story about shopping for shoes? And what do they say when you try to cut them off? "No, no, listen . . . this is really funny!" - NOT because they are worried about what you think of them.

OP, you're not going to get through this by thinking your way out of it. "Just be confident" . . . "Don't worry" . . . "Have fun" . . . You've already tried it. You already know it doesn't work.

Solution:

Do you get nervous about going to work in the morning? Probably not but had somebody tossed you into your position 15 years ago when you were a kid, you'd probably be pretty uncomfortable. You're comfortable at work now because you have acquired the knowledge + skill sets to accomplish your obligations. This is pretty much the same way with all your daily activities. I'm sure you don't get worried about ordering a cup of coffee or flipping a burger for your dinner or doing the laundry. This is what you need to do with social situations with girls:

1. Knowledge: blondguy is right. Read up. You don't need to figure out every game out there but learn why things make sense. Keep it simple. Open - Routine - Close. What makes it work? What are the principles?

2. Skill Set: Practice. You didn't read a textbook for your chosen profession and get ready for work. Whether you call it experience or internship or life lessons, there was practice involved. This is how you practice social interactions for girls:

a. Enrich your current relationships. You chat with women every day. Whether this is at work or with your friends, or while ordering your coffee, you chat with them but you do so without much thought. Begin applying gained 'game knowledge' with people you already know. Instead of repeating your usual interaction, open them and routine them. Try something new. You'll notice a difference with the way they react to you.
b. Open strangers. Yeah, this might be tough but the idea for now is to OPEN only. Get used to it. It's merely a hello and a quick chat. Open guys. Open kids for directions. Open old ladies to help them cross the street. Open the lady who's handing out street promotion crap. Open the parking ticket lady. Stranger ≠ them worrying about you or you worrying about them.
c. You won't have to think about C. Work on a and b and you will naturally open hot chicks.

Read i-like-you-you-like-me-vt79450.html?highlight=

Might help.