There is this girl at my office who I am attracted too and sometimes she would do something that would make it look like she is interested in me. We would always go for coffee together, she would come to my desk from time to time, she would laugh a lot at things I would say and if people wanted to go out to do things (drinking, shopping) she would ask if I would come along with her.

We went out Saturday night and Sunday afternoon...from my perspective things didn't go well. We went to go see this free holiday event, but she couldn't see anything and complained, so we went shopping. Later we ended up going for dinner, the first place she didn't like what was on the menu, the second place was crowded and it would take 30 mins to get a seat. The last place that we went to we got in and had a nice meal. She picked the restaurant of course since the other two were a bust. At the end of the meal when I went to pay (all I had was credit card) she said that she suggested going dutch because that is what "friends" do. (The dreaded "F" word)

The sunday afternoon, I met her mother & dog, then we went to see the Christmas parade for a couple of hours. She was cold and I tried to do establish a physical connection by rubbing her back and her shoulders. She wasn't impressed, she asked what i was doing, my excuse was because I was cold and she suggested jumping up and down instead of rubbing her or hugging her. Later we went for a drink and had a casual chat about relationships (No jokes, no cocky funny, no flirting, just serious chat).

When we talked about relationships she told me about the type of guy she is interested in. I think I meet that criteria, except for when she says she is looking for a guy that is either 5 years younger or 5 years older (so mid 30s to early 40s).

We have known each other for awhile and have been good friends. I didn't start noticing her until someone actually said something to me. It is not that I wasn't interested, but it was because there is a "HUGE" age gap between our ages. Let's just say she is a cougar. She is 40 and I am in my early 20s.

Does she think of me as a friend or is she interested?

I like her a lot and any advice would be appreciated. Did I give up all my power to her? Do I need to be cocky funny? Is there something I can do?

Were u by any chance at the christmas parade in toronto?

Doesn't sound like she's too interested. She dropped the F-bomb on you. Somewhere you must of went wrong or else you wouldn't be in the friend zone. You can always turn things around. Back track, see where you went wrong. You could of possible been to nice. You should explain a little more in detail your relationship with this woman, because just off of what you said it's hard to figure out.

@ RVR_KNG
Yes, I was.

@ Lucky Luciano
I think I am a push over. She would insult me, but I would have nothing to get back at her.

She would want to go "The Source" to buy something. I would object to the whole idea, she would call me boring. We eventually went to the damn store and picked up what she wanted to get.


I think I know what I am doing wrong. How do I change my situation?

It seems like she doesn't respect me. Is it because she is so much older than me?